General Question

KrystaElyse's avatar

If you were homeless and had to stand on a street corner with a cardboard sign, what would you write on it?

Asked by KrystaElyse (3598points) February 19th, 2009

Be creative!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

41 Answers

btko's avatar


tennesseejac's avatar

Can you guess what I had to eat this morning?
$1.00 per guess, and the correct answer gets a mustache ride

eponymoushipster's avatar

I want to bang your wife. no fatties.

tennesseejac's avatar

Honk if you’ve ever given a BJ for bologna

eponymoushipster's avatar

Will pork for pork. God bless.

BONZO's avatar

I like this one

skfinkel's avatar

Sorry, I can’t make change.

pigpen's avatar

Midget ninjas killed my family, please help me afford kung fu lessons

Bluefreedom's avatar

“The end isn’t near. You’re being lied to!”

tennesseejac's avatar

I just pooped my pants
so, please just throw your money over here (or some TP)

jrpowell's avatar

A beer would be nice..

You would be surprised, a little bit of honesty can go a long way.

I was stranded in Lake Shasta. We had a bunch of pennies in my trumpet case. So we spelled out half of Oregon with the pennies. People broke bills to help us spell Oregon. It was crazy, we had to start taking money away and breaking up the letters. We made 50 bucks in 3 hours. It was enough to get us back to Oregon.

Johnny_Rambo's avatar

Stimulate My Package !

Bluefreedom's avatar

“I’m a victim of George W. Bush.”

eponymoushipster's avatar

A CIA put a chip in my head.

Bluefreedom's avatar

@eponymoushipster. It was Fluther. They put the chip in your head. The CIA owns Fluther! Don’t tell anyone I told you!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Bluefreedom ohshit <looks> CHICKENS!!

Bluefreedom's avatar

and pancakes, too!!

Dog's avatar

I live in Arnold’s “no more taxes” California

tennesseejac's avatar

Yes, Im homeless.
But, its just because
Im waiting on the housing market
to go down a little more.
$5 outta do it.

BONZO's avatar

I see you in your cozy car, staring at me. Why don’t you just spit on me because I haven’t had a shower since 1982

pigpen's avatar

Have you ever seen the inside of a refrigerator box?

cyrusbond's avatar

“My penis is showing…..

…made you look! Gimme a $”!

KrystaElyse's avatar

“GOT CASH? Can I get some?

“Hey don’t roll up your window! It doesn’t make me go away”

loser's avatar

This space for rent.

Trustinglife's avatar

“I see you! Do you see me?”

“Giving away free money to people who look me in the eye!”

This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen. I can’t wait for more answers. Quick related story: I was walking in downtown Santa Cruz, and a guy who looked homeless passed me on the streeet and said, “Can you spare a $50?” At least he’s asking for what he wants!

tennesseejac's avatar

Give me some money and I will stop staring at you with this ridiculously lifeless gaze, like you can’t tell if I’m dead or I’m going to kill you. Seriously, it’s been three days since I’ve eaten solid food. I’m not really worried about being out here frozen to this cold concrete or that my blanket tonight will be Sunday’s newspaper, but if I don’t get something to eat extremely soon I think I might die. If I told you my story you wouldn’t believe me, but it would make an astounding country song. So, if you have ANY money to spare or even an apple in your car please just roll your window down a couple of inches and slide it out. I would thank you a thousand times, but hopefully my smile would say it all. It shames my battered soul to be out here like this and if it was not my last resort I would be working like a normal person…. and my dog died yesterday

KrystaElyse's avatar


Bluefreedom's avatar

@tennesseejac. You’re going to need a couple of people to stand on the corner with you to help you hold up that sign. :o)

augustlan's avatar

He could do it Burma Shave style!

augustlan's avatar

Mine would say:

“Will move to another corner for food.”

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

“Goofed off in school
No skills”

eponymoushipster's avatar

“I use newspaper for underwear. I just shit myself on the funny pages. Can I have a taco?”

EmpressPixie's avatar

@pigpen: I’ve seen one verrrrrry similar to that one. It was, IIRC, “Ninjas killed my father, I need money for Karate lessons so I can avenge him.”

forestGeek's avatar

“Bush / Cheney 2004”

LouisianaGirl's avatar

Show me the monay!!!!!!!
I bet you 10 dolllars you cant throw my house past that stop sign.

eponymoushipster's avatar

My dick is itchy.

augustlan's avatar

@eponymoushipster Gosh, I’m sorry to hear that :(

eponymoushipster's avatar

@augustlan well, that was if i was a bum. because i would have access to sanitation and talc, as i do now.

if i was a lady bum, it’d be My cooter’s painin’

LouisianaGirl's avatar

@eponymoushipster awww that must suck omg u r fuuny

skyynkeywest's avatar

would make a sign “NEED PARTS FOR SPACESHIP’‘saw one reading that here in Florida…definitely my favorite;)

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