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TitsMcGhee's avatar

Is dating and/or having sex with someone who looks like you narcissistic?

Asked by TitsMcGhee (8255points) March 2nd, 2009

Would you consider dating and/or having sex with someone who looks like you narcissistic, or is it a function of the attempts to pass on what you believe are your superior genes, which this person must share, seeing as they resemble you? Or could it be some Freudian, psychological, Oedipal, subconscious lusting for a parent? Thoughts?

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18 Answers

tiffyandthewall's avatar

i vote for all of the above. i wish i could offer some intelligent answer, but alas. :p
this is a really interesting question though, i’d like to try to remember to ask my psych teacher for his ideas on it.

i’m sure freud has some sort of theory that goes along with this, though i don’t really know how credible it would be haha.
your idea about passing on genes is probably part of it though, that makes a lot of sense, in a historical genetic superiority way.

DrBill's avatar

It may be a little narcissistic, but we cannot help who we are attracted to. Most people tend to be attracted to people who resemble themselves, such as the same race, religion, values, etc. Of course there are some exceptions, but there is always some common link between ourselves and who we are attracted to.

It’s not always the looks, I was once attracted to a twin, but not to her sister. Even though they looked almost identical, they were worlds apart.

alive's avatar

i dated someone who looked like me and it was just awkward!!!! we even got asked if we were related! AH! what a nightmare! haha

i think it is only narcissistic if you seek out look-a-likes. this one guy (who thinks of himself as this big straight macho man) once told me he wanted to do it with this other guy because the other guy looked like him. in that case, yes really fucking narcissistic!

Judi's avatar

Both my daughters married men who look jut like them One daughter is a red head and has given me two little redheaded clones that like like mom and dad (both boys :-). They joke that it is all about narcissism.

MacBean's avatar

“i think it is only narcissistic if you seek out look-a-likes.” <—- This!

Blondesjon's avatar

I think it’s actually a bit masturbatory.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

Since all humans resemble each other, does this mean we should only date outside our species?

I’ve never found anyone who resembles me. But hey, if I find a tall thin bald woman with glasses and sharp blue eyes, I’ll give it a go and report back to you.

cookieman's avatar

Little old Jewish lady I knew once said the best couples look like brother and sister.

So there ya go.

Jack79's avatar

First of all Tits, if you have a twin sister, let someone else have a go! No, it’s not narcissistic, but it’s unfair that there’s two of you out there and we don’t get to have either.

I cannot imagine having sex with anyone that looks like me. There are only two people in the world who look like me, one is my daughter and the other is my cousin John. Weird.

wundayatta's avatar

I think it’s not an unlikely thing. We generally tend to partner with folks who are roughly on our level, looks-wise. Of course, there are many exceptions to this generality. A lot of people find gorgeous tall blonds with green eyes (gtbge) attractive, and gtbges have similar tastes, so it is not surprising that two who look a lot like each other might be attracted to each other.

I think that if you are narcissistic, it will show up in other ways, such as, oh, say, being really into having a novel written about you. ;-)

TitsMcGhee's avatar

@Jack79: Sorry, there isn’t a Tits twin. And I didn’t mean identical, I meant with similar characteristics – hair color, eye color, cheek bone structure, body type, etc. But I see what you’re saying.

@daloon: Psh, you went for that all on your own :P Although, I really have been wondering where the next part is….

Jack79's avatar

damn…well, it was worth a shot, wasn’t it?

TitsMcGhee's avatar

Valiant effort, my good sir.

zephyr826's avatar

My husband and I look somewhat alike, and we will even more once he finally goes to get glasses. I’ve never thought about it, since I don’t think we look alike, but others seem to see it more. Maybe it is narcissism, because I think he’s hot, and on a good self-esteem day, I think I’m hot.
sorry for the rambling

casheroo's avatar

Someone told me the other day that my husband and I look like siblings. What a creepy thing to say to a married couple.
We look nothing alike. I have very defined features, blue eyes and medium brown hair. My husband is short, stocky, brown eyes dark brown hair..I don’t know, we just do not look anything alike.
I don’t think I’ve been with anyone that looked like me. Maybe one of my exes could have been somewhat similar, before my face changed (as I get older, it gets less round and more sharply defined. I like it better now) He had blonde hair and green eyes, and was Lithuanian..and people think I’m Russian.
But yeah, I’d think it’s quite narcissitic and gross to sleep with someone that looked like me.

KalWest's avatar

My s/o and I are very, very, very different looking, different ethnicities, race, etc… so what’s the opposite of narcissism lol

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

I don’t think so,, but I prefer my women be more attractive than I. Also, I’d make a pretty mannish woman. Remember the guy in the Dunkin Donuts commercials?

Tomfafa's avatar

Heavy. I suddenly realize I prefer girls who look like my mom! Oh No!!!!

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