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tennesseejac's avatar

How does sex affect a relationship?

Asked by tennesseejac (3776points) March 3rd, 2009

Im in an amazing relationship right now and we have decided to take it slow because of our situation. We finally kissed on our third date last weekend and the next night it started to heat up but our self control kicked in, so we are still on the leisurely pace (which is a good thing for both of us). However, I want to give it to her in the best way possible because she is simply irresistible and my willpower is wearing dangerously thin. Plus, it feels like this is the best way to get as close as possible to another person.

In the past I have been in relationships that start off way too fast and tend to revolve around sex, which has not been the healthiest type of relationship for me because it turns out that I am a horn dog.

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15 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

“I want to give it to her”: “I am a horn dog.” So romantic..who could resist?

chyna's avatar

But Gail, he wants to “give it to her in the best way possible”. That’s different.

wundayatta's avatar

Um. Am I lost? Someone please tell me. What planet is this?

tennesseejac's avatar

whatever people (give me a break) Im just being honest, but thanks for the great answers to my question. Im just excited because this is the same girl that I did not really find sexually attractive the first time I saw her and now its amazing

Im done with Fluther after tonight (Not just because of the ridiculous responses so far on this question), but I would have liked better things out of you vets _Thanks to all the great people (you know who you are)

PEACE

onesecondregrets's avatar

Honestly, IMO you should put yourself inside her head (difficult, considering you do have a penis and all) and think about whether having sex would be a positive thing for the progression of your relationship or if it would hinder it- perhaps even, kill it in her eyes. I don’t know her situation, or yours for that matter but given what you said..yeah that’s muh two cents.

Then I say you decide on your actions.

pigpen's avatar

I think sex is great at bringing two people together, and in my experience it has let me know how I truely feel about that person. Just go with the flow and make sure you are both on the same level.

@gailcalled sounds like someone is jealous because she never got any of the DD.

chyna's avatar

@tennesseejac The point was to be respectful of someone you care about.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

lol you never cease to crack me up. Honestly you should totally act like you don’t want to and make her talk you into doing it. That’s the best way my friend. Act like you don’t want it and they want it even more, like a child wants an out of reach lollipop.

mrswho's avatar

I think that its a good idea to take things slowly. You are supposed to want to, I suppose. That sounds pretty healthy to me and I think that its really sweet that you value her and your relationship enough to take things slow. Don’t rush into anything, and congrats on being able to restrain yourself so far. Also, don’t leave fluther for a bit of teasing, its all in good fun and we want to keep you around. :)

tennesseejac's avatar

@LKidKyle1985 not being gay but ditto. and I definitely agree!

@mrswho Thanks! and its certainly not because of the teasing, I can take it with the best of them and usually dish it out just the same. (its a priority thing)

but, yeah I feel like shit now… I didnt think I was being disrespectful.

I guess I only lasted about 2 months, but it was a hell of a ride. much love to all of you! nothing personal, I just spend too much time on this site and its doing more harm than good

Ashpea9288's avatar

@LKidKyle1985 (and @tennesseejac) That is potentially risky. Not all girls get off on being rejected, and if she doesn’t (if so, good for her!) she might think he isn’t interested in her sexually and might even dump him because of it. Honesty is always the best policy, in my opinion, when it comes to relationships.

Response moderated
LKidKyle1985's avatar

@Ashpea9288 hahaha I didn’t say not give it to her, just make her work for it. Like in the middle of making out jump up real quick and snap on the lights and be like omg I have to work in the morning I don’t know if I can do this right now. And she will be like :-O what!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

You pretty much got the answer. Sex doesn’t equate to love, it may have at one point, but that ship has sailed. The moment sex enters the picture, especially if you have not had many weeks or months in, the sex drives the relationship. You spend more time trying to find times to hook up than to know each other better. It is expected to happen 2 out of three meetings or dates; if it doesn’t then there are questions about why not, as if it was a barometer of the love you shared. Right now she is hot to you and just because you want to ”give it to her” the best way you know how, is that what she desires? Many times people talk themselves into believing what they want is what the other wants. The sex should be the lovely desert to the end of a full courtship meal, but if you have the desert too soon and there is still okra on the plate, it doesn’t look as tasty anymore.

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