General Question

BONZO's avatar

Do you find it awkward when having sex with someone for the first time (that you are in a relationship with) ?

Asked by BONZO (387points) March 11th, 2009

you know… just figuring out what they like or making sure everything is going “ok”. it seems to be less of the spontaneous sex and there is obviously more feelings (maybe love) as opposed to a hot and steamy one night stand (where it feels like anything goes).

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31 Answers

tinyfaery's avatar

Only with men. Men can be bumbling, especially when they are young. Two women just know what to do. ;) Admittedly, I have never had sex with a man over 27 years old.

DandyDear711's avatar

I don’t remember…

bluedoggiant's avatar

1. I love your single tag.
2. I would image so.

tinyfaery's avatar

You know, not sure what to do, where what goes, etc…

SeventhSense's avatar

Us older men have staying power and I for one know how to ring around the rosey.
As to the question. I think the first time is always a little awkward unless you don’t have a connection to the person and it’s just sweaty and animal…which can be fun..

hearkat's avatar

A hot and steamy one night stand, or even a night with a ‘friend with benefits’ is just getting pleasure. Since there is no emotional attachment, it is basically a selfish act.

Making love with someone for the first time is about sharing intimacy. And because you intend to have a future with that person, there is a nervousness because you care about their feelings and thoughts about the experience.

tinyfaery's avatar

@SeventhSense That’s why I qualified my statement in a whisper.

tinyfaery's avatar

@hearkat The first time I had sex with my wife, there was absolutely no nervousness. Not the first time, nor any time after.

SeventhSense's avatar

Is it just me or are avatars acting funny

tinyfaery's avatar

They are acting funny.

augustlan's avatar

@SeventhSense It’s happening to me, too.

Dog's avatar

If the chemistry is there magic just happens.

Bri_L's avatar

The first time I had sex with one particular girl we were in total sync. The first time with another and I swear she got every idea she had from a magazine article written by a woman who had never pleased a man.

I really think it’s just like @dog said, all in the chemistry.

hearkat's avatar

@tinyfaery: And that is a beautiful thing, and one can only hope to meet someone with whom they feel no insecurity.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I’ve never had this problem. Sex only becomes awkward when I figure out that someone just doesn’t know what they’re doing, regardless of how nervous they are. I am pretty accommodating – I’ve been totally calm when guys haven’t been able to perform more than a few time – but after awhile, it just needs to stop.

SeventhSense's avatar

@tinyfaery thanks, they are fine when i refresh
But i’ve also lost all my saved profile info unless someone can tell me that you lose that when you change avatars.

Lothloriengaladriel's avatar

I think its more exciting then awkward. just my opinion

augustlan's avatar

You shouldn’t lose anything by changing avatars. Except your old avatar. :)

casheroo's avatar

I’ve had awkward sex, but usually the first time isn’t awkward for me. When I dated, I was very upfront and knew what I wanted. I had too much confidence to let any fumbling ruining the sex.

cookieman's avatar

@Dog: A mixed metaphor if ever there was one.

Dog's avatar

@cprevite Actually this is one of my favorite books.

cookieman's avatar

@Dog: Cool; “a disapearing beaker”. Bunson Honeydew would have loved that.

SeventhSense's avatar

Thanks for the info.

marinelife's avatar

I have had relationships in which it was awkward and relationships in which it was effortless. Please note that, for me at least, the awkwardness or ease of the initial sexual encounter was not a prognosticator of the success of the relationship.

essieness's avatar

Yeah, but that’s half the fun.

Jack79's avatar

Sometimes I have to be careful and make sure everything goes well as you said. But usually it just happens, it comes naturally and, even if it’s not perfect the first time, you can make it better as you go along. I usually don’t think about it that much.

ubersiren's avatar

I never did. The first time I had sex with my now husband, I was on my period. I was somewhat concerned, but he said he didn’t care so I was all, “game on!” I think we had sex like 5 times that night.

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