Is that a shillelagh in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

A blonde was telling a priest an Irish joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, “Don’t you know I’m Irish?” “Oh, I’m sorry,” the blonde apologizes, “do you want me to start over and talk slower?”

How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!!

Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Cos they’re always a little short

So THAT’S how you spell shillelagh! I never knew! When I’d look for it online, I was spelling it so badly that the suggestions had no idea what I meant… Thank you, Fluther!

@bythebay: Thanks to you too…

It’s an Irish Rover in my pocket but I’m really a Scotsman.

That doesn’t even make sense…

What’s green and sits on a lawn?
Pati O’Furniture!

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities’ brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman’s or a Scotsman’s brain could be bought for £500 but an Englishman’s brain cost £10,000. That proves,’ said The Englishman, ‘that Englishmen are much more clever than Irishmen or Scotsmen.’
‘No it doesn’t,’ said The Irishman, ‘it just means that an Englishman’s brain has never been used.’

An aging man lived alone in Ireland, and his only son was locked in Long Kesh prison. He didn’t know who would help him plant his potatoes, so he wrote to his son about it. His son wrote back, saying, “Don’t dig up the field, Father, because that’s where I BURIED THE GUNS!”
The next day, the police came and dug up the field, but they found nothing. The father wrote back asking what he should do now.
The son’s next letter said, “Just plant your potatoes.”

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Irish!
Irish who?
Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

You all, of course, have heard of the Gay Irish couple Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick?

i first heard this joke when i was nine. i didn’t get why it was funny until i was fifteen

Great jokes. Right I’m off to listen to my favourite Irish folk singer.

Paddy o doors.

What is an Irish 7-course meal?

A six-pack and a potato.