General Question

lendwill's avatar

How do let a friend already in a relationship know that they flirt too much?

Asked by lendwill (182points) March 19th, 2009

my friend flirts with me a lot. she is however dating this other younger guy. its fun to flirt but she seems to go about it a little more than she should. how do i say she needs to tone down her body language in the nicest way possible?

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11 Answers

MrKnowItAll's avatar

Make a pass at her.

EmpressPixie's avatar

“You flirt too much.”

or

“Your body language is incredibly flirtatious and it makes me uncomfortable.”

Of course, she may tell you it is none of your business and that you have no say in how she acts.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I don’t mean to undermine what you’re saying her, but are you sure she’s flirting with you? I have a number of male friends who I’m very close and comfortable with so it may appear that I am flirting with them when in fact I am just very comfortable with them and showing them a great amount of affection. However, if it bothers you, just telling her that you don’t like being touched much may do the trick.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Are you good friends? If so, TELL her she’s making you uncomfortable.

If not, try to read up on body language and have yours read that you are uninterested. backing away a bit, armas folded, look away…these might help!

EmpressPixie's avatar

@KatawaGrey: I have absolutely no ability to tell when I am “flirting”. I am just myself at all times. Accordingly, I have been shocked a number of times to hear about my flirtatious behavior. I’m always like, “Really? Is that what they call not being a bitch here?”

Which is a really long way of saying, “Great Answer!”

KatawaGrey's avatar

@EmpressPixie: Yes! I know exactly what you mean. GA for you too!

TitsMcGhee's avatar

People always think I’m flirting too, because I’m nice to people, and I’m very tactile. Next time you’re with her, try to figure out if she’s flirting or just being friendly. Casually mentioning dating, dropping sexual innuendo, making seductive eye contact, touching you for no reason, touching her hair a lot, licking her lips, grabbing your balls? That’s flirting. Smiling, facing you, talking to you, laughing, engaging in conversation, being nice? That’s normal congeniality.

lendwill's avatar

we are really good friends and we always have been but lately she has been really flirty. she will feel up my abs and has even jokingly gone for my nips and has no problem giving me an occasional ass grab. i know she is attracted to me, she dosn’t act like this around other guys. its not that i don’t like flirting with her, its that i feel bad because she is in a relationship already. if she weren’t in a relationship i would totally go for it.

EmpressPixie's avatar

So say that too her—I’ve noticed you’ve been flirting more that usual later and it makes me really uncomfortable because I know you are in a relationship.

It may be that being in a relationship makes her feel comfortable doing that kind of thing because you know that it’s no-strings-attached and won’t go anywhere.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

In that case, @EmpressPixie got it right. If you are really good friends, she should understand, and you should feel comfortable saying that to her.

drClaw's avatar

Are you sure you aren’t reading too much into it?

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