Does my ex-love of a month already have another?

Okay this is creepy and kind of stalky of me.

As a lot of you probably already know through Fluther, my boyfriend broke up with me a little less than a month ago. I am still reeling from it all and completely heartbroken (to say the least).

He works as a freelance print and web designer. While we were still dating, he got a gig from a fellow female classmate to work on an online sex magazine called Climax. It’s a magazine that openly talks about sex, etc. He’s on the graphic design end of things. He went to a few meetings but things never really took off.

Anyway, since we broke up I deactivated my Facebook to prevent such stalking and thus heart wrenching nostalgia from photos, messages, etc. Recently (because I have no self control) I reactivated for a mere moment and peeked at his wall (I know, I’m pathetic).

Since the breakup I’d already had a sneaking suspicion that they were hooking up or dating or seeing each other or something. But after asking him and him denying it I dropped it. But just now, after looking at his wall, I see that she wrote “Call me, if you can.” At first, you might think this is regarding their professional relationship. But it was written at 12 AM! No one talks business at that hour—even if it is a sex magazine.

I am being so horrible right now! The jealous ex-girlfriend! She’s this fiery redheaded human sexuality major! And I’m just…me. The thing that pisses me off the most if anything is happening is that his excuse for breaking it off was that he “doesn’t want a relationship right now.” So obviously that is code for “I’m sick of you.” Just fucking have the balls to say that! I’m still completely love sick from all of this, so I just can’t imagine how he could have moved onto someone else already.

I’m being so utterly pathetic right now and probably reading wayyy to into this. And don’t worry I deactivated my account once again. I just have this awful sinking feeling in my stomach and needed to vent somewhere and knew that you all would listen.