How do you go about changing intrinsic beliefs... like... I live to eat.... to I eat to live?

Yikes, I don’t know for sure, since I’m trying to figure it out too, but… diligence to change in the direction you personally feel will be the most fulfilling?

I’m having trouble with the diligence part.

@Lynne, I know Steve Pavlina wrote about changing beliefs. I searched his site and couldn’t find that article (he has hundreds). Even if you can’t find that specific article, from what I know of you, I think you’ll really enjoy his perspective.

It might be as simple as you finding a balance in your life that works best for you. If you attempt to work too hard at changing something or your heart isn’t in it right from the start, you might be setting yourself up for failure or disappointment.

Could I make a recommendation that you create a list of objectives that you’d like to accomplish and then annotate the most important priorities on that same list, start with them, and work downwards? Making an estimated timeline to accomplish items wouldn’t hurt either.

Be fair to yourself but be firm in your convictions to change also. Results are rewarding and self-confidence and self-discipline go a long way toward achieving success.

Most of what I recommended above came from professional development in the NCO Academy I attended in the military and much of it has worked in my life. I wish you the very best of luck in achieving everything you want to work toward.

I cannot deny that I wish beyond anything that there were a definitive fashion in which one may alter such deeply seated beliefs as those you describe but unfortunately we all have different genetic builds, experiences, talents etc and consequently all react differently to varying stimuli and occurrances. If you wish to modify your life dramatically you must reflect on your entire life, for example you could remember situations where you have changed the way you live (even if on a far more minor level) or recall activities you enjoy which could act as incentives to change. Apply your life lessons to the current situation. There is little doubt that for most this process can be rather “hit and miss” but there are no losses, only further lessons to evaluate and utilise when continuing to pursue this goal. To summarise, you inquired as to how one goes about changing their intrinsic beliefs; I would suggest conviction in your desire to achieve this objective, a mindset in which you are willing to learn and reflect on past lessons and an optimistic outlook.

such an awesome question i can’t resist it. Long answer! Simple process!
Well, this is just a theory i’m working on.

Understanding the Nature of Belief

i think if you pay close enough attention to what’s going on in your head you’ll realize that you cannot choose your beliefs at all. whatever you happen to believe is what you happen to believe and you’re stuck beyond stuck that way. for example, what is your username? can you “choose” to believe that your username is “FRANK” instead of “lynneblundell” ?? It’s not possible because the evidence dictates what you believe.

So, whenever you want to change a belief.. you’ve only got one option. You need new evidence!

So for example with the usernames.. if you delete your account and create a new account called “FRANK”.. THEN the evidence will dictate to you that your username is no longer “lynneblundell” and it is in fact (as far as you can tell) “FRANK” !!

So, changing the evidence = changing your beliefs.

Understanding that we are Creatures of Habit

As human creatures, we can get used to anything. We can go from luxury to slavery. We can go from rags to riches. We can go from heavy eating to healthy eating. We can go from habitual smokers to non-smokers.. We can do anything we want as long as we practice something long enough for it to become second nature to us. That is, as long as we form the right habit for it.

So.. here are the steps that I believe are minimally necessary for beliefs to change:

Step 1: Isolate the Belief you wish to Change

Firstly, you want to isolate properly the belief you really want to change. eg. “I believe I am in the habit of working slowly and irregularly when I’m on task.” and then the exact opposite belief you wish to have eg. “I believe I am in the habit of working studiously when I’m on task.”

Step 2: Identify the evidence you need to observe in yourself in order for the belief to have changed

Now, consider this: If you worked hard all week, at the end of the week you would HAVE to conclude that “Yes, I worked studiously all week long”.. and if you accomplished that for 30 days you would be able to exclaim also: “Yes, I worked studiously all month long!” And if you did this all year, well then you may as well exclaim: “Yes, I work studiously, not lazily!”

So, now we know what evidence we need to observe!

Step 3: Create a New, Small Habit of successfully observing that Evidence

Now that you know what you want to change.. to actually change it from one belief to the next only comes through evidence. Meaning, you have to successfully create the habit of studious work. I believe the easiest way to do this is as bluefreedom suggests, Starting small.

Choose a time period of the day that you will dedicate towards this studious work. It should be relatively short in duration, maybe even impractically short in duration.. whatever it takes in order for it to be a success! Set an alarm or whatever you need to mark this time of day. Then DO IT. Spend that short period of time once every day (or however often it is needed) successfully completing that small task.

According to google, habits take about 21 – 31 days to form, on average. So, that’s how long you have to stick to your regimen for. Create that habit of sucesfully accomplishing that *small goal of studious work every work day.*

Be sure to reward yourself for accomplishing it every time. (or almost every time)

Step 4: Increase the duration of your habit

So, you’re almost done now. At the end of the month, your belief has already changed from: “I believe I am in the habit of relaxing every day” to: “I believe I am in the habit of working studiously every day for a small period of time.”

Once that habit exists. You should find it hard to break from it. Once that alarm goes off, your own human nature should work against you to motivate you to engage in what has become your small little habit. And now that it exists.. all you have to do is
increase the duration of your studious behavior.

You already have the habit, it’s just a matter of enduring longer and longer. And growing accustomed to the length of Studious work that you want over time.

—-
sorry this is so long. but i think it makes sense.

For me it’s as simple as deciding to change, commiting to the change, and living the change.

You can make it a bit more transparent by jotting down a list of things that both people would do when faced with a situation (“for part of Saturday, a relaxing person would watch a movie, a busy person would do some work”, “for Breakfast, a live to eat person would consider going out to a breakfast restaurant to eat something delicious, an eat to live person would have a simple breakfast at home”), then when such situations arise you can refer to the list and make the course of action appropriate to the person you want to be.

@ninjacolin that’s great thank you. so you are basically saying that we need to change the way we do things in order to change the way we think about things and not the traditional thought that action begin in the brain…and therefore thought = action. action = thought…. hmmm

I see your point…and am going to try it out… mull it over…and get back to you…. x (but you might have to wait 30 days ;-) )

So for the next week… (let’s start small) I’m going to try to fill my life up with things other than food… work, reading, exercise, playing with my son, fluthering… etc I will:
1) only eat when I am truly hungry and stop before i feel full
2) not stick to strict mealtimes and conventional accepted beliefs about what food we should eat and when
3) eat healthy food only and not think about indulgent snacks as rewards… or treats…(hmmm that sounds hard)

Hmmm i’m struggling already….not even a low-fat chocolate rice cake???? eek

If i have one of those does it mean I’m living to eat though??? hmmmmm getting myself in knots now…. it’s defining the rules where the problem is!

For me, I changed political views drastically, only after a revelation. I wish every change I wanted to make would be sparked by a revelation. That makes stuff much easier- to be completely in the mindset you need to be in. Otherwise, you’re forcing your own will and it’s difficult to break your own spirit.

@ubersiren so you think that it shouldn’t be necessary to “change” it…it should happen organically?

Not necessarily. I just think it would be easier that way. Your brain would resist it less. But if it’s a matter of health, or if you have a lot of willpower, you might be just as well to fight for it. I just happen to have 0 willpower, so I have to rely on “being shown the light.”

I don’t know how you would go about initiating such a change of thought altogether on philosophies such as “Eating to live.” That’s the tricky part- changing your true lifestyle.

Hahaha… I guess I’m saying I don’t know!

the first answer I thought of was fear or desperation
fear or desperation will lead to such a change

@lynneblundell those goals sound rather large to me! Think a little smaller to start with! Also, if you want to stop eating poorly there’s a few others beliefs you should consider modifying first.

dont have treats??... bad idea. Just have GOOD treats around and no bad treats around.
don’t eat until full?!... no way, eat until full but make sure it’s good food! (see what i mean? one step at a time. you can reduce your intake later once your addicted to good food at all)

Create the beliefs: I only BOUGHT healthy food.. and.. I only OWN healthy food!
Currently, maybe you believe “I have have lots of great Junk Food options in my home” I highly recommend changing that belief to “I don’t believe I have any junk food options in my home” The easiest way to do that is to pig out! Right now! Get full on all the junk in your home (without getting a heart attack) and then when you’re full and satisfied AND feeling guilty.. throw out all the rest. leave nothing behind!

Go to your grocery store and spend your ENTIRE budget on the outside wall of the store (fresh meats, vegetables, fruits, juices, dairy) avoid the center of store completely as they are all processed foods (typically that’s how a grocer is set up).

Get yourself MANY healthy simple healthy options. MANY is important. If you’re going to eat healthy, you’re going to want options so that your palette never gets bored. (Consider all the bulk food options but avoid the candies! Get raisins and cranberries
and the like instead of processed sweets)

Plan ahead for all parts of your day
Plan to have healthy (and super tasty!!) options available for all your activities as well as for treating yourself! have something for movie nights. have something for when you’re studying.. have something cold and good for when you’re thirsty..etc..

Once you believe “I have many healthy options to choose from in my home” you’ll have a hell of an easier time choosing those options. Because they’ll be at your fingertips. Also, in a moment of hunger if you believe “I have no junk food at all in the house.. but i have many great health foods to choose from!!” you will find it quite impossible to choose junk food haha. because they won’t exist.

Change your thinking too!
And be honest with yourself when you feel a bad craving. Say: “I’m thankful that I have filled my home with such great food options instead of crappy junk food options” every time! Repeat this to yourself. Don’t let yourself (even in your mind) Even in public when offered junk food.. say it: “I don’t eat that crap anymore!” who cares who you offend! This is training your mind to think healthy and positive instead of thinking regret.

Yes, lynneblundell.. do let me know how this all goes.. even your next shopping experience goes I would love to know. Don’t give in at the store! If you don’t buy bad food.. you won’t be able to eat bad food. and the habit will form over time.

We need to start a thread on healthy snack ideas.
If you don’t know what to buy.. you probably won’t buy it.
Research is needed.

glad i caught you!

:) by the way, I have successfully changed my diet this way.
as per your request for a success story.

….thank you so much for your advice… you are so right about setting my goals way too high! lol…I do this ALL the time…and without knowing it…

will take you advice apart from the eating loads of junk now – as I don’t honestly think I have anything junkie in…as i didn’t shop for junk last week..so one point already scored there!

will let you know about the rest and how it goes,...you are a genius! shall i start the the healthy food thread or do you want to? I’m a bit unimaginative in the healthy food department – although i do like gogi berries on muesli!

I don’t care which of you two start the Great Healthy Snack thread, but if I don’t see it when I come back here in an hour or so, I’ll start it myself! :)

lol.. uh.. now i’m shy.. okay i’ll do it.

I lurve you DynamicDuo!!! made me giggle…

Amazing Healthy Snack Foods!

I hope i did a good enough job.

You did a great job! Look at the discussion it’s generating. Superb!

I second the idea of being conscious of what you buy at the store. Great answers Ninjacolin! My success story:

About a year ago, I ate nearly a pint of ice cream. 20 minutes later, I felt disgusting – just totally wiped out. I said to myself, “That’s it. No more of that.” I resolved to not buy any more desserts at the grocery store. I was so disgusted with the feeling it gave me, that it worked. I slowly ate what I still had at home, but I didn’t buy desserts for months – I didn’t want to. In the process, I broke my addiction of having sugar after each meal. I now have dessert occasionally, but my reality around it has really shifted. Thank God.

I think it takes a life-changing event to change an intrinsic behavior (I think of it as a behavior, rather than a belief). For instance, changing ‘live to eat’ to ‘eat to live’ could possibly be triggered by a heart-attack or other event that is a result of the the ‘live to eat’ behavior.

^ yea.. see something like a heart attack is what i would consider “evidence” that changes your beliefs from “I believe i should be okay eating a “little” poorly” to “oh dear god i need to stop eating poorly immediately!”

yeah thanks Ninjacolin you did a good job… I’m so going to go and get lots of dried fruit on friday (shopping day) I’m not sure I can change completely the way that i think without having a heart attack but I’m sure as hell going to try…

I’ve heard the conscious brain can only stay focused 6–8 seconds at best, no wonder it is difficult to keep a New Years Resolution. I personally think it is what you say to yourself, and your beliefs, especially your beliefs. Your non-conscious brain does not like going against the grain, no matter how hard you try.