General Question

Jude's avatar

Have you ever known anyone who is great at dishing out advice? They seem incredibly wise/helpful (give great advice on just about anything), yet they aren't able to work on their own issues and solve their own problems; why is that?

Asked by Jude (32134points) March 23rd, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

21 Answers

Staalesen's avatar

Yes, amongst others a friend of mine who were very good about relationships, but could not keep one himself…

tinyfaery's avatar

Yes. These people are called therapists. Really. I was in the business. Therapists and the like are loco.

Sr_Q's avatar

I suspect most people who give advise (myself included) suffer this malady.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I think some people find it easy to tell others how to run their lives but can’t manage their own. It’s easier to look at others objectively, maybe.

marinelife's avatar

Did you mean dishing our advice?

It is because from the outside a person can view the issues objectively, which makes the decision making and problem solving much easier to do.

Jude's avatar

@Marina you’re right about the ‘dishing’. Thank-you.

rooeytoo's avatar

Solving others’ problems requires little effort whereas solving our own problems can require lots of work and most important, if everyone else would straighten up and do it right, then I wouldn’t have to change myself!!!

Zaku's avatar

Yes. See me for example, at least, in the past. Or my genius mechanic and his car. People have a tendency to get in their own way, and then fail to recognize it. It’s hard to see stuff that’s behind your own point of view. Which is why talking to others helps so much.

VzzBzz's avatar

Are you asking for names?!

SeventhSense's avatar

Confucius say:
Easier to put on a pair of shoes than cover the world with rubber.

Jude's avatar

Thanks, everyone.

I have a friend who’s the first person that I go to for advice. Seriously, this girl comes off as a wise soul. She’s good friend (I love her to death), who is always willing to help you through anything, yet, she has tons of personal problems. I was just trying to understand it. that’s all.

lindelizery's avatar

Yes. In terms of the person I know, she hasn’t found anyone who can handle really listening… which is what I’m trying to be now. It’s difficult for her to open up to other people, but too hard for her to see things from a new perspective in order to fix them – which is usually what makes advice from a friend so valuable… the fact that they can see the situation differently.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

You see this in parenting styles, too. “Do as I say, not as I do.”

MacBean's avatar

Very simply, knowing what to do and being able to do it are two completely different things.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I’m just like this. I can give people all sorts of advice, and I’ve gotten positive feedback in doing that, but when it comes to myself, I go to shits and can’t figure anything out.

OpryLeigh's avatar

That would be me! I can help others with their problems and a lot of the time they take my advice but I certainly can’t organize my own life!

Nially_Bob's avatar

Perhaps it is that these many personal problems are the source of the persons wisdom? It is through work that we understand but through suffering that we may appreciate such understanding, or so I have come to believe from my observations.

ronski's avatar

Hmm, it seems like everyone has problems. Perhaps people that dish it, give you advice, are more open to talking about issues (a lot of people are closed off), there for they are also more open about their own problems.

It seems to me that everyone lives their lives in different ways, and what might seem like big problems to one person, isn’t as bad to other people. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I just think that people think you have more problems if you are open about them, and if you aren’t than everyone assumes things are fine. People who enjoy giving advice probably just enjoy talking in general and are looking for your perspective.

Discussion is good for everything really…it helps us think more objectively, hence fluther. I guess my point is that one persons life would be another persons problem…

plethora's avatar

For the same reason Phil Mickleson and Tiger Woods and, I guess, every other PGA golfer have coaches. They need an outside point of view. The coach can give good advice, from the outside looking in, but obviously can’t play the game the way the pros do.

laineybug's avatar

I’m like that. I always give my friends advice but I have tons of my own problems. My friends are no good at giving advice, so I have to figure things out on my own. But my opinions and feelings about people and situations always get in the way. When I give my friends advice I ask about their opinions, but base my advice mostly on the facts. For me there’s no one to just listen to the facts and tell me what to do.

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