General Question

SuperMouse's avatar

Are you a hugger?

Asked by SuperMouse (30809points) March 25th, 2009

I have never been much of a hugger but lately when the urge hits I give a hug. Here’s an example of what I mean: This morning one of my neighbors lost her husband. This evening as I was leaving for work she was standing in the driveway with some family that had come to town. I walked over to give her condolences and offer any assistance she might need. As we talked she seemed so calm almost in shock, I felt the need to hug her so I did. Her grown son walked up with red eyes from crying, I felt the urge to hug him too, so I did. This is a pretty new thing for me, but when I feel like someone needs a hug I usually give it and every time so far they have been receptive and hugged back.

Are you a hugger? Do you mind being hugged by someone you don’t know well?

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33 Answers

flameboi's avatar

I am, also I’m a very active cuddler (lol)

loser's avatar

I’m a hugger! {hug}

KrystaElyse's avatar

I lurve giving hugs :o)

Dansedescygnes's avatar

I am a big hugger. I LOVE hugs. Giving them and receiving them. I was voted “most huggable” in 8th grade polls (along with 3 other people) and now I’ve been voted it again for senior polls (along with 1 other girl)...lol :)

Allie's avatar

Most definitely!

girlofscience's avatar

I always try to follow the other person’s lead!

It’s so funny. I find that half of girls are huggers (at every occasion on which you see them), and half are not. Whenever I meet up with these girls randomly, I always quickly think to myself, “Is this girl a hugger!” so that I can direct my acceptance and reciprocation of a potential hug appropriately.

trumi's avatar

God I love hugs.

I love when you’re feeling shitty and hanging out with friends to try to make yourself feel better, and then it’s time to go so you do the goodbye hug – but they can sense that you’re hurting, and so they don’t just give you a goodbye hug. They squeeze you a little harder and a little longer, till you let out your breath as if to say “Thanks, I needed that.” That hug extension makes all the difference in the world.

tinyfaery's avatar

No. And it makes me uncomfortable to hug anybody but my wife. Even hugging my family is a bit awkward for me. I have given some hugs in my life out of sincere succor, but they were spontaneous and I didn’t really think about how weird it was.

hug_of_war's avatar

I am decidely opposed to hugging and being hugged. When someone hugs me, I’m praying they will get themselves the hell off of me as as possible

vegelizabeth's avatar

I don’t like hugging people much.
I’d have to agree with tinyfaery, i am the same way!

trumi's avatar

@tinyfaery and others – That makes me sad. I have friends like that, and I’ve dated people like that, and some people just prefer it that way; I get it. But a hug is sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day. If you ever feel like you’re missing something, grab a best friend and try it out. But really let yourself open up when you do it, don’t just stand there awkwardly.

When my grandmother hugs me it’s a one armed squeeze, three pats on a back, and a weird laugh. When my heart is broken and my best friend hugs me it’s a life saver.

cak's avatar

I’m a situational hugger. When I do hug, I mean all the emotional behind the hug, but I’m not one that hugs someone each time I see them. I have a friend that jokingly tagged me as cold and prickly -when it comes to physical affection towards others.She laughs because she says that I am not truly a cold person. My daughter even can read my mood and knows when I am not in a hugging mood. I would never deny my children the affection, but it is a stretch for me.

I think I get it from my mom. She wasn’t overly affectionate. Hugs were rare, but she knew when I needed one. I just freak out a bit when someone is in my personal space.

edited to add: I am envious of those that don’t struggle with this kind of affection. I would like to overcome this, eventually.

bythebay's avatar

I’m a serious hugger, I love getting them and giving them. I’ve converted many a non-hugger to my hugging ways!

SuperMouse's avatar

@trumi and @vegelizabeth if someone asks you if you want a hug will you answer honestly and tell them you don’t? Since I’ve started my new life as a hugger, I ask people before I go in for the hug. I hope they don’t feel like they have to agree.

@trumi and all you other huggers, check out this, it is guaranteed to make you smile!

mrswho's avatar

I like the concept of hugs and tend to want them but I’m a bit too awkward about it. When I’m getting hugged I tend to just pat their back awkwardly (sort of on purpose) and try to escape. I don’t usually initiate hugs though because it is pretty awkward though I would love to run around hugging people. I also prefer hugging boys to hugging girls because their chests are flatter and I find that to be far more comfortable.

Dansedescygnes's avatar

@SuperMouse

That video is awesome. I love stuff like that.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Dansedescygnes I know! I really can’t help but make you smile!

shadling21's avatar

No. I love hugging people, but I don’t do it in case they aren’t huggers. And my closest friends don’t hug. Kind of sad, actually. I sometimes feel like I’m missing out on a whole world of hugs.

SuperMouse's avatar

@shadling21 that was always my thing! I didn’t hug because I didn’t want to hug a non-hugger. About six months ago I was down town with a friend and we ran into a mom with her grown disabled son (he was born able bodied but was paralyzed and had a traumatic brain injury from an accident). We got to talking and I wanted to hug that mother so bad! I didn’t hug her and I still wish I had. That was the event that turned me into a hugger!

YARNLADY's avatar

In general, yes. I have known some hugs that were not pleasant, but they are in the minority.

vegelizabeth's avatar

@supermouse In situations such as that one, i usually would hug someone if they asked for one, i don’t want there to be any sense of awkwardness, & it’s not really that i do not like hugs, i just don’t always feel comfortable hugging people, I guess i don’t really know why that is. lol. unless it is my boyfriend, i think it’s because i feel closest to him.

Facade's avatar

I like to hug. I’m pretty “touchy-feely”

TheoreticalBS's avatar

I’ll hug people who are close to me. If I don’t know you well enough, I don’t even want you in my bubble. I’m big on personal space.

casheroo's avatar

I don’t hug often, it’s weird to me. But, I hug in situations like you posted about.
I’m very affectionate with my son, and husband. I grew up with very little affection like that, and my mother regrets it. She is trying to make sure we hug and kiss goodbye, and say “i love you” when we get off the phone. It’s all quite foreign to me. But, I don’t mind it.
Girls my age seem to be “huggers”, I’m usually not friends with “huggers”, it seems.

aprilsimnel's avatar

If I know a person and the situation calls for it, I’ll hug and mean it, but I’m not capable of hugging willy-nilly to all and sundry.

Amoebic's avatar

I love hugging! It says things that I don’t have the eloquence to attempt. I’m awkward, and nervous in most social settings, but if the other person is receptive, and won’t take it the wrong way…these arms will make a beeline, and it will be big and warm. I am more comfortable with approaching people with my arms out than I am with actual face-to-face conversation.

Trustinglife's avatar

I love hugs, and I’ve been told I’m damn good at it. Seriously.

But like cak said, I’m a situational hugger. I don’t hug my roommates; that’d be way awkward for us manly men. But in many of the social events I go to, the situation calls for hugging, which I love. But those are just social hugs.

Not everyone’s comfortable with this… but what I really love are hugs that last about 30 seconds to a minute. They are hugs where we stop, breathe, and experience each other. There’s a real energy exchange there, not just a superficial pat on the back. I find those hugs to be restorative and stimulating. But it usually takes a close relationship before that can happen. Oh, and clarity about sexual boundaries.

Here’s a decent example of a long hug on CSI, thanks to the glory of YouTube.

EmpressPixie's avatar

Yes! I’m a huge hugger and I’ll hug just about anyone for any reason. The length of the hug, however, is kind of how you can determine if I know or like that person. I hug longer the better I know someone.

LouisianaGirl's avatar

Nah…. I`m a high fiver!

Trustinglife's avatar

My roommate gave me a hug tonight. I stand corrected: Manly men do hug.

Dansedescygnes's avatar

@Trustinglife

I love it when manly men hug me. They always have really strong hugs.

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