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aneedleinthehayy's avatar

Bad dream help and interpertation?

Asked by aneedleinthehayy (1198points) March 26th, 2009

The past two nights I’ve had bad dreams which has never really happened to me. The first night I dreamt that my mother and significant other both died and that my s/o killed himself. In the dream my mother turned out not to be really dead and told me that Matthew wasnt really dead either and when I went to go look for him she told me she was kidding and he was really still dead.
Last nights dream was that it was the end of the world which is a reoccuring nightmare for me and usually the only kind of nightmare i have, and in the dream, again, my s/o killed himself.
The second part of last nights dream was about Matthew informing me through a note and a list that he had been cheating on me throughout our entire relationship with many different women.
In the first dream I am somewhat calm about the situtation and am actually at one point worried at why I am not sad but then start hysterically crying. The second dream, I’m hysterical and the second part of the second dream I am very calm and only become slightly upset.
I don’t understand what could have brought upon these dreams, what they mean and how to make them stop. I’d prefer not to wake up crying in the middle of the night.

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14 Answers

xenializ's avatar

Is Matthew going through any big issues right now? Are you worried about him being with other women?

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

@xenializ, I know he isn’t cheating on me now. But I do worry that he will. In fact, I pretty much expect it to happen. I wish I didn’t think this way, but I feel like if I don’t get my hopes high I won’t be too upset when it happens.
But he isn’t going through any big issues, no. In fact, he just got his car insurance back and a job for the first time in almost a year since his motorcycle accident…

YARNLADY's avatar

I’m not a believer in dream interpretation. If you mind is dwelling on a specific issue, it might be reflected in your dreams, but for the most part, it is nothing more than the firing of synapsis by differenc electrical and chemical connections in the brain. This can be brought on by what you ate, your general state of health, and even the condition of your blanket and mattress. The more unconfortable your are, the more likely you will have bad dreams.

Try to eat healthier foods, make sure you get enough exercise, and wash your bedding with a non-scented laundry product.

aprilsimnel's avatar

In dreams, issues surrounding the people you dream of are not usually about the actual people, but about aspects of yourself. Your mother could symbolize nurturing, for example. Are you taking good care of yourself? Think of the people in your dreams that way, and see what comes up for you.

xenializ's avatar

I am not a dream interpreter either, except for my own, but I usually am able to see some connection between what is happening in my life at the time and how I work through those issues in my dreams. I have read that death in dreams can be interpreted as a type of rebirth, for yourself or for whomever is dying in the dream… which could be related to M getting a new job—which I would say is a really big issue (not a bad one, of course).

Has anyone you’ve known committed suicide? I think often people we dream about get substituted for other people, or experiences get re-worked with people who stand for someone else in your life at the time.

Are you taking any meds? Drugs can really affect my dreams.

RedPowerLady's avatar

There are a few factors that can cause bad dreams. Stress, Hormone Surges (also full moon relates to hormone levels), Caffeine, Taking Pain Pills Before Bed. Those are just a few. So if you have bad dreams that make you wake up and feel horrible note if any of the above are at play. It can be very helpful to keep a notebook and pen by your bed so you can write down your troubles or to-do lists when they are keeping you up at night.

Having said that I do believe in dream interpretation. I believe in it spirituality and also as an effective part of the counseling field for good mental health. There are many many ways to interpret dreams based on your own personal beliefs. One of the main factors that determines if a dream is worth interpreting is how long it sticks with you and the feeling you need to know what it means. Sounds like this is one of those.

For this dream in particular I would say it has more of a cognitive meaning than a spiritual meaning. I would say that your dreams are about your need for stable and trusting relationships. The fact that your s/o keeps dieing and of his own choice and he is cheating on you in these dreams. And the fact that your other loved ones die but mess with you (like they aren’t really dead) reflects that you don’t feel enough stability in your relationships and it is bothering you. Perhaps you need some extra support right now. Or maybe you are having a great time and are feeling like it must end soon. The fact that in your dreams you are alternating between calm and hysterical reflects your expectation for your relationships to be unstable. Your calm because you expect them to fall apart. But your hysterical because you really don’t want them to. Sometimes just acknowledging what your dream is about will be enough to help you feel better.

ninjacolin's avatar

to add to the anti-dream interpretation crowd:

the one thing though is that we dream only of things and concepts we’ve seen/considered before. sometimes these things can rearrange themselves into unique formats that we’ve never seen before. (for example, your mother could be flying through the air.. or your mother could have your dad’s name..) but ultimately, you are dreaming within the limits of your memory and imaginative abilities.

i’m not someone who can ever remember my dreams. :( i wish I could though. you’re asleep for about 1/3 of your life so i consider myself as missing out on a lot of my life. I think dreams should always be considered but not for projection purposes. more so as a signal telling you what’s on your mind. perhaps alerting you to something that you haven’t finished working through mentally.

wundayatta's avatar

Sometimes when I do the “aspect of self” interpretation, people find it means something to them. It seems like there is some part of you, a part that you love, that you have left for dead. Maybe something you used to do, a talent that you had?

It’s dead, or it isn’t dead, or maybe it is. In any case, it has been wandering astray, and doing things it shouldn’t do. Somehow you have been betraying yourself or not true to yourself.

Often, I’ve found, when people aren’t true to themselves, it’s some form of creativity that they did not follow up on. Instead your creativity has to force itself out in other ways that betray you somehow.

It could also be a love for something, a kind of work, pehaps.

So, does any of this make sense? I’m not asking you to stretch to make it make sense. Either it instantly does, or it’s wrong.

Dreams seem to be made of random bits of stuff we experienced in the day that the mind is fitting into various boxes where memories are kept. We dream these things, and then, because we have to have a story, we impose a story on them.

Perhaps there is something to be gained by looking at the story you made out of those random bits of memory. Perhaps the “aspect of self” approach makes sense. I don’t know. It’s kind of fun guessing, though.

mattbrowne's avatar

On Fluther someone suggested

justwannakno's avatar

why do i have dreams about being killed or set up to be killed by close ones?

justwannakno's avatar

why do i have dreams about me being killed or setup to be killed by loved ones?

Just_Justine's avatar

It sounds like you have “cut off” from certain parts of yourself. Whether, feelings you are suppressing, fears mostly (end of the world). And the suppression is “killing” you. Would you feel it is the end of the world if your SO left you?

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