Have you ever experienced true unconditional love from a partner?

I don’t know if humans are capable of doing that.

@Facade Let’s wait and see, shall we?

Only my dogs.. :>)

Yes

@GAMBIT Lucky you.
@all See!

I believe that’s the kind of love I had from my ex husband but I was not able to return it in that way. I also feel I experienced it again with one particular live-in partner but I was foolish and left him for another who turned out to be unworthy; or maybe not, maybe I got exactly what I deserved and a valuable lesson learned in order to have much better relationships now.

I love my babe, but if he beat me, I’d stop…so it’s conditional

My husband loves me even under extreme conditions of insanity. There may eventually be a condition under which he no longer loves me, but I wouldn’t know what that would be.

@hungryhungryhortence I could have written the same thing, only from a guy’s perspective of course. Interesting.

Engage.

@Zen People are people, we all want love, the feel good parts but have to learn and feel out how to deal with the rest that goes with it, I believe.

@hungryhungryhortence I’m 43 and in a serious relationship, the only one I’ve known since my first marriage. I think with time we learn to compromise and focus and appreciate the good, and not pay too much attention to the “bad”.

I like to call it the big relationship picture.

No, i doubt that will be possible. I can’t do anything i want, that may upset him, and still expect him to love me unconditionally.

@Ahh @JellyB – and you are such a cute BellyJ. How are you this evening?

@Zen – Thank you Zen and I appreciate that I didn’t have to go into detail.

With all the negativity here in this thread, my experience will not be credible. Someone may even say that [“Oh that will change!”].

But my fiance and I really do love each other unconditionally. We know our lives will not be perfect, there will be troubles, there will be seasons of love where we look at the other and say “What was I thinking?!”

We love each other. It’s so simple, there’s no artifice, and we trust each other. I think it’s being able to lay down your walls and finally trust someone that is such a relief. I know that he loves me – and I love him too.

Unconditionally? We are in this till the wheels fall off.

@Zen That is my next frontier :D

@squirbel Nice.

Engage.

@hungryhungryhortence You know that space is the… oh crap.

Actually, love is the final frontier.

My boyfriend seems to love me unconditionally. There seems to be nothing I can do that he gets irritated with. And I can’t find anything about him I don’t love. I’m pretty much completely smitten. Of course, we’re in a long distance relationship and only see each other every other month or so, so that could be why ;)

I like your questions Zen.
That said, yes, I experienced it.
It was so wonderful that actually destabilized our relation.
And I cannot say much more because unconditional love is indescribable, at least for me.

Isn’t the answer obvious? if a guy sticks by a girl through her monthly cycles that’s unconditional right there!

From a few people, yes and from my little doggie, yes.

@qashqai Thank you.

No, I haven’t, and I don’t believe in it. Not even in parent/child relationships. There are always conditions.

@Zen :D I’m just dandy TY, especially since i got my order of chocolate and mustard from Switzerland today! :D (hee hee!)
;P

@JellyB You must stop the winking and sticking out your tongue thing. Or your face will stay that way permanently. Don’t you guys have mustard and chocolate down there?

lol :P

@Zen LOL! Yes, we do, but this is SWISS chocolate!! And, this mustard is good….and it comes from Switzerland, and my dad was there anyway…..so why not?! :D

@JellyB Oh well if it’s Swiss…

I feel like I’m missing something – do you guys mean something else when you talk about chocolate and mustard? It is confusing when considering the original topic…

@squirbel She really means those things. We sometimes forget we are on fluther and just start up a conversation. Sorry.

Oh! lol

I’m just saying – because in college this one black dutch guy had a crush on me [and yeah, he was born and raised in holland]. And mustard, well that coulda been an asian guy. Man I don’t know anymore, lol.

@squirbel LOL! Yes, i mean the food! :D

I tend to see unconditional love as an ideal and a possibility, a perspective to stand in, and not necessarily a static goal. I think it depends on perspective, but it can be a beautiful perspective and have great results when people stand there. I’ve seen it done, and I aspire to it but I’m not sure I’ve fully had it, or if it’s fully possible, but I know it’s possible to stand for the possibility and get a lot out of making that stand.

@Undislosed Jelly asked me:

I just don’t get it. How can the love be unconditional, yet there is a condition that you don’t cheat? You said it. That’s a deal breaker. A condition. Your love for your wife is conditional.
You must mean something else by unconditional. Unless you are saying that you still love her, but you can’t be married to her because she cheated?
But if that’s the case, does unconditional love last forever, no matter what the love object does? You love them, but you don’t want to be near them or have anything to do with them? But if that’s the case, then what does love mean?

@Dr_Lawrence answered:

If one of us chose to cheat what would that mean?
It would demonstrate an extreme lack of respect, deception and dishonesty,
and it shows a lack of commitment

If I wanted to be with another woman sexually and I told my wife
before I got emotionally or physically involved with another woman
she would be saddened and disappointed and we would move toward living
separately for good.
She would probably still love me but she couldn’t live with me
if I chose to be involved with another person.
If I did it behind her back and she found out she would be furious and humiliated
and our separation would be on much more terms.

We have committed to having an exclusive, monogamous relationship.
It is that with which we feel comfortable. That’s our contract.

When she is feel upset or ill or worried and she treats me in a way which is
out of character and with anyone else I might be hurt or get furious, I do not get angry
and my love for her shows in my patience, my calmness, my willingness to allow her to vent
at me, even when her issue doesn’t really relate to me. When she feels better and apologizes,
I thank her and remind her that my love for her never wavered, no matter how long the rough patch.
That is unconditional love. I don’t seek comfort elsewhere online or in real life.

Every healthy long term relationship has certain limits or rules. Physical abuse, long-term emotional neglect and abuse are things we don’t allow in our relationship. Those never even come close to happening just as infidelity does not happen either. Even with conditional love, there have to be rules and limits of acceptable conduct. We respect those rules or limits as our way of demonstrating and fulfilling our unconditional love.

We live according to our agreement and that is why our love can last for the rest of our lives.