General Question

VzzBzz's avatar

When a couple stays in your home for a visit, is it uncouth of them to have sex while there? As a visiting couple to other people's homes, do you feel you should not have sex during the visit?

Asked by VzzBzz (2784points) April 2nd, 2009

Let’s present the scenario of a week long stay and the visiting couple is having sex only with each other, behind closed doors.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

71 Answers

AstroChuck's avatar

As long as it’s discreet, I don’t see a problem with it.
And if we get to watch, or join it, that’s even better!

avalmez's avatar

as long as they launder the bedding…have at it :)

avalmez's avatar

um, are at least as discreet as me and my gal (no howling and screaming or banging against the walls…)

YARNLADY's avatar

What you don’t know, won’t hurt you and if you do know, it’s wrong.

eponymoushipster's avatar

i’d be very happy if i was a guest in someone’s home and they asked me to have sex with their wife.

and if you ask me, how can you be mad if i make some noise whilst doing it?

Facade's avatar

For the first question (when I do have a home), we won’t have overnight guests, so that won’t be a problem. For the second one, when my babe and I go to other people’s houses, we do have sex.

I just wanted to add..fantastic sex. ok thanks.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Doing it in the bed is expecting a bit much from your host considering they end up cleaning your sheets.

I don’t see anything wrong with sneaking one off in the bathroom. The best guests will do their business in the shower together because then all the ick goes right down the drain.

lillycoyote's avatar

I don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t. If they’re sleeping on the sofa bed in the living room then they should probably try to be discreet, I guess.

avalmez's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic well i guess there i go presupposing my own inclinations…to each his own, but clean and polite about it in any case

wundayatta's avatar

I’m going to throw my vote to the “I don’t have a problem with it” crowd.

augustlan's avatar

No problems as long as no one can hear it.

RedPowerLady's avatar

I think it is natural. I think it is appropriate if the guests consider the host and the appropriateness of the situation as well as be considerate as possible. I think if you are having a couple over as guests and are giving them their own room one should just expect as much. If your rules are they shouldn’t then you should outline that from the get go. It is just a natural process for couples.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@avalmez I think I’ll call it “sexiquette”.

Tangent_J's avatar

as long as everyone is discreet…no sex in the hallways or anything like that…then cool

avalmez's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic thanks for giving it a name. Circumstances should always dictate what is or is not appropriate. Now, off to bed i jaunt! :)

casheroo's avatar

Hm, I find it a little inappropriate. Depends on the situation though.

rooeytoo's avatar

I don’t want to do wash covered with someone’s bodily fluids!

Dr_C's avatar

How big is the house? are they in the next room? thin walls?
I’d rather not hear someone having sex in the next room… i have no problem with it if i don’t hear.
I’d only do it if there was no chance of being heard.
I honestly have no problem with it… i just don’t want to know.

fireside's avatar

I agree that if anyone notices, then it is inappropriate.
If no one notices, then hopefully they take up the sheets themselves and put them in the wash.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

A couple had sex in the bathroom once in a house I was living in. I didn’t find out until long after the fact and I wasn’t pleased.
Then again these were friends of a roommate at the time so I didn’t know them very well. If it were close friends it’d be awkward but i’d be forgiving.

fireside's avatar

Oh yeah, and if it is parents visiting their kids, definitely inappropriate.

avalmez's avatar

i think i’d howl louder with laughter than they if my parents ever did that in my house and it was noticeable!

galileogirl's avatar

VzzzBzzz: Does that mean that the hosts have to abstain, too? I mean that makes it a sad little house during visits. Generally you don’t want to be banging headboards against a common wall (you could pull the bed away from the wall) and it’s OK to ask guests not to smoke but how do you tell them not to have sex? As a guest. I would strp the bed when I leave and leave the linens in the hamper with the towels I’ve used and leave the room as I found it otherwise.

asmonet's avatar

I’m surprised everyone is cool with it, and kind of skeeved out.

Doing it in someone’s house is a big fucking no no.
You don’t know what they did there, they don’t know what you’re going to do and no one needs to clean up someone else’s leftovers.

If it happens, fine it happens, but I wouldn’t be happy about it, and I wouldn’t do it.

asmonet's avatar

And really, what kind of self control do you have if you can’t keep it in your pants for a seven day visit out of respect?

casheroo's avatar

@asmonet i agree with you on the whole self control. i can wait to have sex with my husband, out of respect to people housing us. and anyone we’d stay with is probably family…i don’t know if i could do that!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@asmonet maybe the nice soaps and towels are making you horny?

galileogirl's avatar

What’s the difference in doing it in a hotel room or the bedroom of your own apartment with someone 6 inches away on the other side of a common wall?

asmonet: I guess no hotel sex for you, they change the sheets but usually not the bedspread lol

asmonet's avatar

@eponymoushipster: Maybe you have bigger issues to worry about.

@galileogirl: I’ve worked in a hotel, and that’s simply not true. Most 4 star/diamond or above hotels change everything for new guests, they don’t change the bedspread while YOU stay, and all rooms have a mandatory weekly deep clean where everything is cleaned.

The difference between hotel sex and sleepover at a friends house sex is respect. In a hotel you are in public accomodation, and may treat it as such, a place to stay the night in your own bubble. Do you pay $100+ a night to sleep in your friends guest closet room?

When you are in someone’s home, you should respect the people who budge up and make room for you, cater to you and leave things as they were before you got there. Which extends to you having not done it all over the place.

To compare the two is rather silly.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@asmonet hahaha. what – you’ve never gotten a gift of sexy soaps?

kenmc's avatar

It’d depend on where they were staying in the home. In the same room? NO! In an adjacent room, Keep it down in there! Across the home, just keep our stuff clean!

asmonet's avatar

@eponymoushipster: I have been given six sets of these exact soaps, no lie. Apparently, everyone thinks I’d enjoy them immensely. NSFW

eponymoushipster's avatar

@asmonet i need to come stay at your house.

galileogirl's avatar

Asmonet: Haven;t you seen those newsmagazine (like Dateline) segments where they take a black light to 4 star hotels and body fluid stains glow everywhere?

asmonet's avatar

Haven’t you ever heard of the news sensationalizing things for ratings?

avalmez's avatar

hey…most likely enough of us have spent nights in a hotel and know, it ain’t sensationilzation by the news..

teirem1's avatar

I’ve got no problems with it. It would never have occurred to me that it it’s problem for others – so this is eye opening. I would hope my guests would feel comfortable enough to enjoy themselves in my home and in that way.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@avalmez @asmonet that’s why it’s polite to pull back the comforter BEFORE you fornicate.

galileogirl's avatar

I SAW the glowing blobs, just like CS{

asmonet's avatar

That really doesn’t mean they didn’t rent a bunch of rooms, try to find the most despicable, sprayed something on to add to the effect or anything else before the cameras started rolling.

I was in virtually every room of my hotel, and out of curiosity I took one of our housekeeping black lights and checked them when I did maintenance on the phone systems. I rarely found anything larger than a dime.

Most hotels nowadays have the lights because of those shows, and when was the last time you saw those specials? It’s been a few years since anyone did one. For a reason.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@asmonet a dime-size shot of spooge is still a dime-size spot of spooge.

Facade's avatar

So would it be bad to have sex on the bar while staying as a guest? teehee

asmonet's avatar

@eponymoushipster: It’s not the paint ball field of spooge Dateline makes it out to be. A dime size spot is easily avoided. Something that looks like a rave exploded on it, can’t.

avalmez's avatar

nevermind the spooge (where the heck does that term come from?)...always remove the comforter from your hotel bed,,,then rest or fornicate in greater peace of mind

eponymoushipster's avatar

@asmonet exploding rave spooge…ahh the 90s.

rooeytoo's avatar

I don’t care if it is dime size or silver dollar size, I don’t want to lie on it!!! I always pull the comforter off first thing when I go in the room. Course I rarely stay in the 4 star places, heheheh, I’m happy if they have one star!

Jack79's avatar

When I invite people to stay over, the rule is that their room is theirs, and I’d only go in to clean (or not even that). I respect their privacy just as if it were their own home, so obviously they can do whatever they want in there (and even invite other people and have trios or whatever, as long as it’s not too loud).

Similarly, if I were to take my girlfriend and visit friends (this has only happened once though), I’d have sex with her just as regularly as I would normally. It may be a bit rude if you’re having sex the whole time and not even coming out for breakfast, but I don’t see the problem with a few rounds while your hosts are away/asleep.

jo_with_no_space's avatar

I have done it in other people’s houses. I would feel a bit gross if they did it in mine. Yah I’m a hypocrite.


Halliburton_Shill's avatar

If the sex involves both couples or takes place in the shower, no.

ru2bz46's avatar

LOL! I remember grabbing a quickie with my fiancee in the living room during a visit to her parents’ place after locking her little sister outside. Thinking back, it probably wasn’t the best behavior, and I don’t think I’d do it now. I mean, come on, we’ve been divorced for years. ;-)

aviona's avatar

My friends and I all do it and we’re discreet and all, but we know it’s happening. But we’re all pretty close and we’re young…so yeah, as long as you’re not making a mess or a huge racket…have fun.

lillycoyote's avatar

@aviona my friends and I we’re all pretty close and we are old (!)... and yeah we still do it :) and as long as you’re having fun, make a racket, make a mess. But don’t expect us to pretend we didn’t hear it when you come down for breakfast. :) There will be some banter and innuendo, etc.

ru2bz46's avatar

@lillycoyote I stayed at my sister’s place last Thanksgiving. Her son’s girlfriend was in town on a break from school, and they stayed in his old room (after a 3-month separation). They caught a ton of crap from all sides of the family the next morning. I think the neighbors even heard them!

aviona's avatar

@ru2bz46 :: 3 months is a long time!

casheroo's avatar

@ru2bz46 that is widly inappropriate. i would have been mortified if that was my child

ru2bz46's avatar

@aviona Yes, it is. And I think they emphasized that fact very well.

ru2bz46's avatar

@casheroo I think I would have been mortified, too. In this case it was my nephew (though still pretty weird). My sister and her family are much more liberal than I am, so they just laughed about it and lit up a joint.

asmonet's avatar

I probably would have walked in spanked whoevers ass I saw first and told them to shut the fuck up, I wanted to sleep.

tb1570's avatar

If a couple are a guest in my home, I just assume they’ll be doing it and act accordingly. And if I’m w/ my gf and we’re guests in someone else’s home and if the urge strikes us, why not? Half the fun is having to keep the noise down! It makes it a little more exciting—knowing you can do whatever you want to your partner and she can’t make a sound!!! What’s the big deal? It’s a natural thing. It’s got nothing to do with respect. If you want to keep it respectful, keep the noise down and clean up after yourselves if you make a mess. What’s not to understand? Seriously, what’s the big deal? Puritan sexual morals & ethics give me the heebie-geebies. It’s like saying to guests “You can come to my home, but do not eat or breathe while you’re here. Don’t be human!! And whatever you do, don’t mess up my nice sheets!” Jeez, lighten up….

nikipedia's avatar

@asmonet: Why do you consider it disrespectful?

eponymoushipster's avatar

maybe asmonet and i can stay at someone’s house and see what happens. holla!

fireside's avatar

she’s probably spank the monkey.

asmonet's avatar

Well, I think it’s an intimate private activity, I find no joy in sharing it or having it shared with me in the next room audibly. Now, beyond the noise, I don’t think anyone should have to clean up anyone else’s bodily fluids, and no matter how much everyone says they’d clean up after… really? If you think no one’s going to know, how many of you would just leave it be? Honestly? I know some people aren’t okay with it, so I wouldn’t do it. Out of respect.

Lots of reasons, that right now are making me sound like a fucking prude to myself.

ohmyword's avatar

Fantastic question! Leave it to Bee to make a stir! :)

Don’t ask, don’t tell is my policy. It’s in bad manners if I hear it or find evidence of it. Also, I guess it would depend on how long these house guests were staying. If they are only staying one night, it seems to be in poor taste. But! To each his own, and I will not object unless it directly affects me/makes me uncomfortable in my own home.

eponymoushipster's avatar

does this also preclude sleeping naked in someone’s house?

Kelly27's avatar

I have no problem with it, whether I am the guest or the host. I do think there should be some common sense and respect as far as trying to keep quiet so others don’t have to hear, but other than that I say go for it.

asmonet's avatar

@ohmyword: I agree, just personally I wouldn’t do it. :)


Chattty1's avatar

When I have people stay over as guests in our guest room, we make them feel like just that, guests, welcome and relaxed. What they do behind closed doors is none of our business. I wash the bedding for them and cook their meals and serve them, let them enjoy their stay…they are our guests. I want them to feel comfortable in our home and remember their stay as a pleasant one. This is how I was raised I guess but I have always been treated this way at others home like this too.

BookReader's avatar

…sure…just pull up a chair and munch on some popcorn…why not!?! When in Rome do as the Romans do…

chelle21689's avatar

Why not put a towel down so your stuff doesn’t get all over the sheets? lol

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