General Question

VzzBzz's avatar

Is there anyone you've come across, be they friend, family or acquaintance with the attitude that no one is good enough for them (even the ones who are) and yet, for all their apparent self esteem and high standards, they are very unhappy and negative to be in company with.

Asked by VzzBzz (2784points) April 3rd, 2009

An acquaintance snarks about how irritated he is and how life sucks because he can’t find a partner he respects and he wants to be in a relationship, look to marriage & starting a family. At the same time, he puts down many of his friends/acquaintances for their choices (they’re mostly happy) by saying how desperate or old or stupid they must be to “settle” for less.

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18 Answers

asmonet's avatar

Oh my god, yes.
A ton.

I dump them pretty quick.

Life’s too short to deal with everyone else’s shit.

Facade's avatar

Although I believe settling is a bad choice, that person shouldn’t be upset because he hasn’t found anyone if he is picky.

And, to answer your question, I don’t know my associates well enough to say whether they are like that or not, but I imagine some of them are.

augustlan's avatar

I have known one person who took this to extremes. It wasn’t just people, either. He was never happy with anything in his life. He never made a (large) purchase that he didn’t return for some minor reason or another. He made everyone crazy with his constant complaining, and was absolutely no fun to be around. I never see him anymore, and am quite grateful for that fact.

cak's avatar

Oh yeah, I’ve known that person, too. It just feels like something sucked the air out of the room when they start into their current complaint. It is hard to stay around people like that – I try to be understanding, I try to look past it, but truly, there is only so much I can take of that attitude.

elijah's avatar

Usually a person like that has been hurt and hasn’t dealt with it well. It’s sad, but also it doesn’t give them a right to make everyone else miserable.

ru2bz46's avatar

Oh yes, I know just what you mean. After two wives, I’m sure there’s nobody good enough for me. They just can’t keep up. What’s wrong with people these days? Can’t they learn? They could change just a little to be more like I want them, right? Maybe I should just stop looking and deny the rest of the women this opportunity…oh, wait…I just read the rest of the question. So are you implying that people at the upper levels of society are less fun to be around than the dregs?

Oh crap, didn’t they add a <sarcasm /> tag yet?

VzzBzz's avatar

“Bonk- Bonk on the head!” < < < sarcasm

wundayatta's avatar

Does the world owe you a perfect mate? A perfect life? Or is it your responsibility to make your life into what you want, and to work a relationship into a place where it meets both your needs?

cak's avatar

@daloon – Can I answer those? I think I even have the right answers!

wundayatta's avatar

Be my guest!

[cheeky giraffe, ain’t she? Grumble, grumble grumble. ;-)]

cak's avatar

@daloonI’m cheeky? Take another look at your avatar…now who is the cheeky one?

Anywhoo…No, No, Yes – and yes to the second part of the last question.

if the world was supposed to grant those things, don’t you think I’d be married to Johnny Depp, by now?

wundayatta's avatar

Johnny Depp??? Still going on about Johnny Depp? Well, if you really want to be in my league, I could have called you Cheeky Momma, but I spared you that! And if we could have animated avatars here, you know what my avatar would be doing right now, LOL. Now, now. No biting.

cak's avatar

@daloonplease, you seriously think I would have given up on that crush? I’ve had it for a lifetime, almost! Major eye roll about the butt!

wundayatta's avatar

Ah, a cakian eye roll. And not just a regular eye roll, but a major eye roll! My life is complete! Wiggle, wiggle.

cak's avatar

@daloon – watch where you are pointing that thing! —especially if you have gas. That would qualify as attempted murder!

wundayatta's avatar

Errrr, I think we’ve drifted a bit from the topic, and are in danger of having our posts removed. I have more to say, but I concede the field to you.

cookieman's avatar


I know a girl who was a dear friend for over ten years. She was dating this guy (another friend) the whole time and was desperate to get married. When he finally relented and gave her a ring, she didn’t want it and ended the relationship.

Well, something in her snapped as she has spent the subsequent ten years being the person you describe.

She is unbearable to be around, which is unfortunate as I loved her like a sister once. There’s just no talking to her.

manoffaith3112's avatar

Some people’s self esteem are to the extreme one way or the other. Either thinking way low of themselves or way too high to the point of arrogance.
I’m not sure I’ve ever met someone in those exact circumstances thats described. But there are a lot of people who do not know the meaning of love and unconditional love. Or love with unmerited favor. True love does not demand that, “I’ll love you if you’ll do this for me.”
True love says, “I’ll love you no matter what.”

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