General Question

elisedesigns's avatar

Do you feel close with people online? why?

Asked by elisedesigns (40points) April 7th, 2009

Do you feel a connection with people even though you’re not in the same room?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

39 Answers

Rayvin14's avatar

not unless i have met them before.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

i sure do. I’ve made SO many friends from Askville & several here that I write to. I know more about these people & talk to them (many on the phone) than I do some of my ‘real life’ friends. I find it easier to confide personal things about myself to my online friends at times. Some I have bonded with & we’ll be tight forever.

laureth's avatar

Some people yes, some people no.

There are people I’ve known for several years online but have never met. I’ve known some of them for more than a decade. We talk like real in-person friends do: sharing our day, giving and receiving advice, even mailing things to each other. The only difference between these people and my friend across town is that we’ve never been in the same room.

Also, I met my (now) husband online first. It’s that “getting to know the inside before judging the outside” that works for a lot of couples that meet this way.

YARNLADY's avatar

I wouldn’t say ‘close’ but I do enjoy the conversations and information exchanges that I engage in with people online. It’s not really possible to feel close to someone when they are nothing more than words on a screen.

Dutchess12's avatar

@YARNLADY THANKS A LOT YARNLADY! Do you know I’ve cried for you a couple of times??!!

ninjacolin's avatar

yea, i’d say i’ve been able to love (in the friendly sense) some people online in my years.
why? because the characters i perceive are lovable i guess.. just like reading about a lovable character in a novel or seeing one in a movie.

YARNLADY's avatar

@Dutchess12 Awwww, that’s so sweet. I have also felt a very personal response when reading about the lives of my online friends. Yes, that is a form of being close. Thank you for making me feel better today than I already do. Hubby just walked in the door, so it’s my happy hour now, while I fix dinner.

cak's avatar

Some people, yes. I’ve had some become more than just acquaintances. You start learning about families, traditions – all kinds of things. I made some wonderful friends on Askville and have started to make some good friends on Fluther.

aviona's avatar

A select few Flutherites, yes. You know who you are ;)

theluckiest's avatar

A good few wis.ers :)

Dutchess12's avatar

@YARNLADY FINE!! My husband is out of town!! Sniff. I am so lonely!! And I can’t stay up and Fluther or all night to feel better now either cause I gotta get up for work!!

YARNLADY's avatar

@Dutchess12 ***YAY***WORK***YAY***

Dutchess12's avatar

@YARNLADY Yeah…that job where I had to wait an entire MONTH for a background check to clear? I was so freaking out that that they’d find out about the Twinkies I stole when I was 8! But, yeah, I got it. :)

RedPowerLady's avatar

There are one or two people I feel like are part of my family even though I never met them. We met on a type of internet support group and have been through rough times together. We’ve never even talked on the phone but I love them dearly (as friends).

Others I just can’t seem to get that connection with.

Lupin's avatar

Surprisingly Yes. I can sit here reading Q&As as a distraction and then, Bang!, someone’s answer hits me in a spot that simply resonates. You know, that they know, that you know, that they know…. All that meaning and feeling in only a few lines of typed text on a laptop display.
It’s rare, but it’s there.

qashqai's avatar

Fluther has become some kind of ‘second’ family.
I ask questions, and share thoughts that I am not willing to discuss with my colleagues, when we are abroad and there’s just me and other work-mates.

And I get precious answers.

ShauneP82's avatar

I suppose so. Heck their are some I would like to hug and others I want to shank with a filed toothbrush. >>>>

mattbrowne's avatar

Yes, with some. Why? Many reasons. Chemistry. Interests. Mindset. Respect. Kindness. Openness. Values. Diversity. Honesty. Integrity.

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t know. The problem with seeing only words is that you create fantasies of people to make up for the missing information. At least, I do. Over the years, I’ve become acutely aware that it’s a fantasy, as I have been seriously hurt in some cases, and for what? An image in my head.

So now, unless I see a person in the real world, I believe that every feeling I have about them could well be just a fantasy—something I’ve projected on someone but has little to do with them. The internet is a playground, kind of like Disney, for me. I can try out a lot of stuff, but as long as I keep things in perspective, I won’t get hurt.

Doesn’t stop me from losing perspective, though.

giltesque's avatar

Close? No. Connected in thought? Sure, but I never let the brief commonality I might find in a chat or q/a site such as this, get confused with real people in my real life. As I’m sure many people have found out, you can feel close and then you see an answer from the person posted on a q and Wow! you’re blindsided that part of them exist because you don’t really know them at all. I’ve been disctracted 4 times in this small response taking me 10 minutes to post. That in itself shows how calculated and tidy people can present themselves in online blurbs and profiles but it’s not real :) Flesh, facial expressions, body gestures, speech patterns, mannerisms, poise, class and interpersonl skills…are what we love or hate about people in the long run. I do not think that level of learning can be achived without face to face exhanges.

simonPARASITE's avatar

it depends.
if i click with them straight away then usually i become quite close.
but if things are awkward to begin with, they stay awkward.
most of the people i meet are friends of friends.
and most of them are awesome.

bythebay's avatar

I am very lucky in my life to be blessed with an amazing group of friends. I see, talk & share with them everyday. Online conversing is new to me; I’ve only been here since November. That said, I definitely feel a camaraderie with some of the great people here on Fluther. Lately, while going through a very tough time, my Fluther friends were so supportive and caring. I’ve cried for my friends here and have also cheered out loud.

So “close” for me is relative. I do feel great compassion, concern, and joy for my Fluther friends.

Speranza's avatar

Yes, in the cybersense of ‘feel’ – ie I don’t really know them, nor they me.

However I do know people who have met and married!

pizzaman's avatar

Yes, because if I am chatting with someone I don’t know, like people do on club penguin, and I get cut off, I feel badly I didn’t say good-bye and now i would think that person thinks I am mean and if they see me online again, they will be rude to me. That I don’t like.

MerMaidBlu's avatar

In a sense, yes. You don’t really have to hide behind a mask because there are no expectations placed on face value and there’s no reason to hold back.

SarasWhimsy's avatar

I used to feel like I got close to people I met online, but I noticed that if I did meet them in real life, they weren’t the same. Also, I noticed that it’s a lot easier to “drop” online friends than real life friends so I don’t look for friendship anymore. I just try to take what I get at face value.

internet123's avatar

Yeah coz we don’t know them personally.. it sucks to feel closer to them!

janbb's avatar

@cak Yes, and you’re one of them. Great to see your post!

Cruiser's avatar

YES! And even when they are far, far away from me! ;)

baileysmom12's avatar

Yes. There are a lot of people on here that I have been talking to for over a year on another Q&A site that shall remain nameless. Several of them I looked forward to talking to on a daily basis. When they were gone for a while, I really missed them. AB’er who remembers RIPPLE?? I haven’t spoken to RIPPLE in a LONG time and I miss him. There are a lot of people on here that I feel close to even though I have never physicaly met them.

Val123's avatar

I had the coolest dream last night….about wisdm, fluther, and even AB (which I don’t know) and just….it was comforting dream. Except for the gerbils. What was up with the gerbils?

baileysmom12's avatar

@Val123 The gerbils were trolls in disguise!!!!

Val123's avatar

@baileysmom12 Maybe so! Because mine kept getting out of the cage!

baileysmom12's avatar

@Val123 Gotta watch them sneaky little trolls…….I mean gerbils.

Val123's avatar

@baileysmom12 I’ll never forget one very interesting gerbil..he had a variegated, long beard and sideburns, like a Mennonite male, and a squishy furry face, like a wise old man. It was a very special gerbil, so he got to live on a bookshelf, and not in a cage. Sigh. Dreams are the dangdest things!

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GabrielsLamb's avatar

Sometimes deeply sometimes not at all. As in life, it depends on the time, the effort, the meaning and the person.

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