Do you have any experience (either personally or through someone else) with eating disorders?

My mother was anorexic (and I have reason to believe that she was also bullimic although she won’t admit it) for the first 20 years of my life and was constantly monitered by doctors. I was constantly monitered by my family because they were worried that I was going to “end up the same way”. I can’t lie, I have had times where I have been paranoid about my weight and have been very torn between wanting to keep an eye on my weight but not wanting to end up in the same state as my mum. This has lead me to feel guilty at times for eating even though I am hungry which means my body needs food at that time. My mum looks better now but my childhood memory of her is of a walking skeleton who constantly lied to everyone around her. I know she was very ill but I can’t help but feel like the fact that I am only happy when I am slim (although I am not underweight thankfully) is due to what she went through even though I HATED the way she looked. I’d love to hear from anyone else who have had similar experiences with eating disorders and how other peoples illnesses have affected them.