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NicoleMaeRose's avatar

What should you do if your love of your life leaves you?

Asked by NicoleMaeRose (25points) April 15th, 2009

My boyfriend had left me, not to long ago. He said that the reason we are breaking up is because he couldn’t stand the fighting and he was always worrying. He would accuse me of cheating on him. He was very jealous and controlling. If a guy even looked at me with the “eye” he would freak out and think I was doing something behind his back. I would then cry to him saying that I love him and that I want him to come back to me. He would say “No I can’t because I can’t keep treating you the way that I have been and I can’t stop worrying about that you might be cheating on me.” Yes I did cheat on him once, but I learned my lesson. I LOST him. I have been totally faithful to him ever since. So now I’m wondering if he may be cheating on me. Should I not talk to him and wait for him to see that he needs me? or should I keep calling him and text messaging him? HELP! I want to be with him so bad!! He cries and goes on to other people saying “I want her back, I feel so bad about the way I’ve treated her!” But around me he’s like “I don’t even love you anymore.” I need HELP if anyone has been through this before or has anything to say write.

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33 Answers

SpatzieLover's avatar

He sounds like a verbal abuser to me. I’d say “Good Riddance” and never look back!

forestGeek's avatar

If the love of your life leaves you, all you can do is accept that and try your best to move on, despite how difficult it may be. You cannot do anything to try and make the other person feel something that they don’t. As long as you are being yourself, that’s all you can do.

I went/am still going through this now, and it’s not easy at all. The best advice I can give is to just let yourself feel what you feel, process those feelings, and do whatever you can to do good things for yourself. Only time will really heal, but doing positive things for yourself can help along the way!

NicoleMaeRose's avatar

@forestGeek do you think he may come back? @SpatzieLover he is a veral abuser and a mental abuser. Its hard I love him so much!!! Like i said he’s the love of my life

crisw's avatar

“he is a veral abuser and a mental abuser. Its hard I love him so much!!!”

Have you considered counseling? This is not healthy behavior- seriously. You deserve better.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Remember the good times.
Deal with the grief by talking it out with a good friend.
Try not to dwell on your loss.

Go out and do the things you like doing.
Don’t go for a rebound thing. Those end bad. Each day the hurt will be less and less until it becomes just an experience of your past.

drClaw's avatar

@NicoleMaeRose do you mind telling us how old you are? This sounds like young love to me.

I was in a similar relationship during my sophomore year of High School. I thouhgt I was with the love of my life, but we cheated, became paranoid and abusive (verbally/mentally) to each other. Finally we did the best thing for each other and split, after the hurt went away we both ended up being much happier over all.

forestGeek's avatar

@NicoleMaeRose – He may or may not, but you cannot live your life with that hope, nor wait around. I think all you can do if you want a person to come back, is to move on and make yourself the best you that you can be, and maybe the person will realize what they lost, or fall in love with you again. But again, you cannot live with that hope of what may never be.

If he’s a mental and verbal abuser, you are best off without him.

cyndyh's avatar

After reading that I can tell you this is not the love of your life. It just feels that way to you right now. There will be other guys. It sounds like you could really use some time on your own right now to reconnect with your own goals and desires in life.

ru2bz46's avatar

I’ve found that when somebody is always accusing you of cheating, it’s because they are. There is also the mistrust that you brought on yourself by cheating. I hate to say it, but it sounds like this relationship is over. Cheating can be forgiven, but it will always leave a scar – on both parties.

It sucks to get dumped, and that often makes us want the other person more than we did before getting dumped. Time will ease this pain. Just let go.

NicoleMaeRose's avatar

@drClaw im 17 years old and yes i know it may be young love but it still hurts. i need really good advise, but it’s just i’m hoping he will come back to me.

srtlhill's avatar

Dont keep texting and calling. Dont allow yourself to be abused be anyone. Never Anytime for any excuse.
If he loves you he will do all the right things to be near you.
Everytime, just give him space
Good luck but you wont need luck when the feelings are true.

cyndyh's avatar

@NicoleMaeRose : I think you’re hoping for the wrong thing. Hope for a happy life and take steps to make it be. You’d be doing yourself a real service to do what you can to put some distance between yourself and this guy. I wish you the best of luck.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

This is not a healthy relationship. I can almost guarantee that if you two get back together it will get bad. Real bad.

You don’t know me but you should trust that I’ve seen what is happening to you, happen to a lot of people. The script always plays out the same.

There will be mistrust, there will be more cheating and there will be pain worse than what you’re feeling now.

NicoleMaeRose's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic you give good advice but it’s just hard to let someone you love go.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

No one said it’d be easy. Just don’t forget to respect yourself in all this. Try going a day or two without him.

Don’t let this become a codependent thing.

drClaw's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic is 110% right. You really need to move on (no matter how badly it hurts) and start worrying about yourself. Codependent relationships are like a drug, you will never know how destructive they have become until you step back and distance yourself from them.

crisw's avatar

I find it odd that this poster has created another account (Nicole18) to ask a bunch more sex-related questions. I smell troll spoor.

casheroo's avatar

It’s going to hurt, but you need to separate yourself from him. He sounds like he treated you very poorly, so he’s not even worth your energy.

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gailcalled's avatar

Read the profile of the ever-more-charming NicoleMaeRose. And then note spelling and agrressive responses.

casheroo's avatar

@gailcalled how come you can’t expand her avatar? weird…

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

@NicoleMaeRose, You buy yourself a green sweatshirt, have “Welcome” embroidered across the front. pin a plastic daisy over your heart. Then you get a bible, and become a country singer.

drClaw's avatar

@NicoleMaeRose Since you openly tout yourself as a 17 y/o porn star in your profile I come to the following conclusion: You are either A) a 45 y/o man trying to sucker people (mostly men) into buying something or giving you some sort of information or B) you have been abused in your life and your profile and comments are your way of fishing for attention, in which case you should really find yourself some professional help.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

looks like you need to get to college and realize he’s just like every other guy you’ll ever meet…

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gailcalled's avatar

@NicoleMaeRose : Maybe start with High School English as a little diversion from the porn industry. I am really really angry because I can’t get into your pants. I will now go and throw myself off a bridge.

NicoleMaeRose's avatar

@gailcalled OH GOOD!! Please go do it now.

asmonet's avatar

…How do you justify doing porn?

You say you don’t cheat… but you also say you make porn.

Wanna clear that up?

funky_princess's avatar

accept it and move on!
Thats all you can do

SpatzieLover's avatar

17, in “love” and verbally abused…Hmmm. How’s you’re childhood going?

My oh my oh my! So glad I’m choosing to home school.

justus2's avatar

If he leaves you then he is not the love of your life obviously, dont worry you will find the real love of your life who will treat you right, i did almost a year ago. and he treats me wonderful and we are engaged and love each other and show it.

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