Could people be trained to change personality traits?

I think it would work. We’re just more complex versions of pavlov’s dogs.

We have to be clear about definitions. What is meant by personality trait? Probably this: A trait is a distinct variant of a phenotypic character of an organism that may be inherited, environmentally determined or somewhere in between.

In general, traits are very hard to change, it’s like you’re trying to change the person as such. What can be changed is certain behavior. True phobias are disorders. To be a little afraid of heights is normal and necessary. One does not want to fall down and get killed. It’s not a phobia. True phobias are the most common form of anxiety disorders, see

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phobia

The article also includes treatments. So to answer your question: people can be trained to deal with phobia in a better way. There’s also the option to take medication.

A professional doctor should make the proper diagnosis and recommend treatment which might include therapists.

It is very hard to change inherent “personality traits” (I agree with @mattbrowne that some definition is in order here) or even behavior patterns. Simple modeling by actors seems unlikely to do it.

For one thing, many behaviors that we exhibit stem from early learned defense mechanisms developed around childhood wounds. To change those behaviors requires acknowledging the original cause, and then a lot of work around recognizing the unconscious response and modifying it.

Other aspects of people described as personality or behavior actually stem from chemical imbalances. Those are unlikely to be impacted by any kind of therapy that does not include medication.

I did it.

All it takes is a commitment to the problem and conscious action. And about four years.

I changed who I was from the bottom up.

I know people who booked seminars offered by Lufthansa to deal with their fear of flying which is a big deal when business trips are required by your employer. There are therapy sessions and they also go into flight simulators (the way it was shown in the movie ‘French Kiss’). The success rate is pretty high and people are actually able to board a real plane without a breakdown. Some swallow 5 mg of Valium as well, but can then handle the flight. Therapies are a good option for various phobias.

@Marina , I am not convinced that the “original wound” has to be uncovered. As for chemical imbalances, there is some question as to cause and effect. In some cases, chemical imbalances can be reversed by talk therapy.

There is a theory that who we are is a cluster of self-reinforcing behaviors. If this is so, it should be possible to chip away at this cluster from the outside in.

@asmonet , You should write a book. I would buy it.

I’ve changed a lot.

I actually had therapy to get over my phobia, I have a fear of internal sensations, which caused severe panic attacks and agoraphobia. I had doctors induce panic attacks, which really really sucked. But, I eventually got better. I still have minor moments where I think I’m about to panic, but I can control it.
I’m a true believer that some people can change negative aspects about themselves.

@asmonet how did you do it exactly?

It’s hard to change old habits. They’re a physical part of your brain’s configuration. In order to change that you have to practice so the neural pathways that the habit follows are reduced in output. Eventually you can reduce the hold that habits have on you, but you have to consciously work on it. It’s not guaranteed that the habit will ever fully go away though because the functions your brain performs are highly integrated.

I got over arachnophobia through education. As for more deep set behaviors, well I’ll let you know. So far, no success, but I keep trying. The drugs are helping, and the therapy starts soon.

@lynneblundell:

Hmm, I honestly changed so drastically, it’s hard to say. It was sort of exponential change. The more I worked on things the easier the dominoes fell.

Looking back on who I was for the majority of my teenage years is disappointing for me. I had fun, I had friends I had a decent time, no one in my family died, but I wasn’t Homecoming Queen either. I’ve always been self-aware not necessarily self-conscious but analytical towards my own thought processes and behaviors. When I was seventeen almost eighteen I decided that if I wasn’t happy with how I was acting I should take a proactive role in shaping who I was.

I was crass, bitchy, insensitive, hostile, intimidating, forceful, stubborn, willful, and friendships for me were a one sided street. If I did something to offend and they didn’t accept my half-assed ‘sorry’, then they weren’t my friend in the first place. But if something was done to ME, and I got a ten page heartfelt letter of apology, it wasn’t good enough. You weren’t good enough. And that was probably the last time we’d speak. I was harsh, unyielding and extremely judgmental.

The cause for change was that while I judged others, I would think afterwards that it was undeserved, that my actions were knee jerk and unnecessary. And usually, it was entirely my fault. The more I thought about it, and the longer I did the more it took over my other thoughts that I was unhappy with who I had become. I realized that it was irrational and illogical to act without cause or reason, and that directly contradicted who I was to myself, removed from my failings. It violated my own most basic principles. I took stock of how I was described by others, how I thought I would describe myself. I picked aspects that were negatives at the time but I saw as having potential for becoming good aspects in the future.

Over the course of that year, being in high school leading up to my ‘change’ I thought about it, I began to think after I had acted about four or five ways I could have handled it differently. With enough thought and consideration over past mistakes, it can shape your next reaction to a similar situation. So, that’s how it went.

By the time I turned eighteen those experiences had snowballed enough for me to have some level of determination towards changing, actively changing. Not just thinking about it but changing everything even something as insignificant to others as and altering how I said hello in the morning with a smile or a nod. I replaced knee jerk reactions I disapproved of with ones that I accepted. When I failed to remember or spoke before a moment’s thought, I actively dissected the encounter, the timing, the time I had to think before speaking….everything. Until I knew, what I did ‘wrong’ how I could change it and was sure I had learned from that instance.

If someone complimented me I would not downplay it with a joke or act awkward. I would respond with thanks and a compliment in return. Nothing else. If someone hurt me, I would take inventory of myself, my emotions and the motives and needs of both parties before slamming a door in their face and cutting them out. I would not mock or challenge those around me. I would not make any of my friends laugh at the expense of a few. I would not start my day with attitude. I would not blame others for my failings, including those charged with educating me. If they did not teach me and I was aware of it, and did poorly because of it I was also at fault for not making it my job to learn. I made a point to make those around me happy, if they frowned, felt sad, acted dejected it was not merely ‘their problem’ it was mine, until it was fixed or I was told it was no longer my concern. I decided my new hobby was to find the good in those around me and support it, encourage it. I wasn’t gonna sign anyone up for classes or buy them a new car but as in one occasion I saw them drawing and when they saw I had noticed they turned the paper over and pretended they weren’t. I complimented their art, oohed and aahed and they were relieved, from then on we were art buddies, and she had never shown anyone her art. That was one of the moments that reaffirmed my commitment to changing. Before I would have dismissed it, hey they didn’t want me to see. Whatever. They had a reason. Next.

I made myself a better friend and person and the more I did it, the more I was noticed and positively reinforced for my efforts. People commented on how nice I’d become. How much more caring I was and how much I’d grown as a person. It felt good.

I am still forceful, intimidating, stubborn and occasionally bitchy. But I know the time and place for those aspects of m personality. They are contained and unleashed with far more effect than they ever had on their own controlling my behaviors in the past. But in addition to being those things, I’m described as warm, kind, thoughtful, loving, happy, and wise. I replaced the bad with good, slowly but surely. I stumbled in the process, I fucked up. A lot. I was young. It’s a continuing process, I’m still young, I still ‘regret’ my words and actions on occasion. I say regret, even though it feels wrong to label it like that, I notice those actions. I change them. But I do not dwell and I do not feel badly for having done them because all of my failings are an opportunity to do better. A big frickin’ stop sign in the road telling me to look both ways…that sounds ridiculous but it’s true.

You keep at it, you start to forget, the good takes over the bad. Then it becomes second nature, and the bad is a minority action. Then you settle. And for a while you think you’re fantastic. Then you realize that you’re not, no one is, and you start over. To become better.

I don’t think I ever thought about it ending when I started it. It didn’t occur to me, I realize now for me it’s a cycle. I’ll grow and change, become complacent and something will knock me on my ass and make me do better. I’ll have to. That was the biggest change. I worked into myself a desire to always do and be better than I was before. That’s the most important lesson, everything else just comes along for the ride.

Sorry this is so long, (dalepetrie much?) I’m running out the door, I might be rambling and I didn’t edit. So if you made it this far…. wow. Good job. Go you.

I have. I used to be a painfully shy, cynical pessimist. Now I am a “sociable introvert” (as a recent acquaintance coined it) and a “hopeful realist” as I call it (meaning that I see the glass is both half empty, and half full, yet it contains exactly as much as I need).