Can you ever say I Love You too much?

Does he respond back when you say it? Or one of those who say NOTHING after you say it? I KNOW that type, too well.

I think that he should say it back to you more. My uncle is like that. He can never express his love to anyone. I dont get it. If you love someone dont be afraid to tell them. Your not doing anything wrong!

Yeah, I know this problem. My wife said exactly the same thing about me. I thought the same thing as your husband. How can she not know? But, it seems, women are different (duh). They want to hear it all the time. And, as my therapist says, it’s a little thing, why not just do it?

But let me tell you my secret reason. When we were first falling in love, and the magic was happening, the term sprung to my lips without thinking. I was “in love.” Now it’s 20 years later, 18 of marriage on Tuesday, and it doesn’t feel the same. I love her, but that feeling of “in-loveness” doesn’t happen. Without that, it seems harder to say, “I love you.” In fact, even though it is true, and I do love her, it still feels like I am forcing something when I say “I love you.”

See, the thing is, I am not utterly obsessed with her any more. I can actually think of other things besides here. “I love you” is forever associated in my mind with that time when I was obsessed and could not think of anything but her. I know, intellectually, that will not happen again, at least, not in the sustained way it happened then.

I don’t wan to lie, and I don’t want to not lie, if that makes any sense. It is both a lie and a truth to say “I love you.” I love her, but it feels different now. However, if it will make her feel good and safe, and if it will make her want me more, then I’ll do it, because, in the end, I do love her.

I think there is a gender difference at work here. Women are so much more verbal than men. I think compromise is called for. In your own words, tell your husband something like, “Honey, I do know that you love me. I love to hear you say it though. It is a special gift to me when you do.”

Then ask him if there is something you could do or say just for him that would give him pleasure that you do not do now. (Maybe he would prefer you saying it less to him.)

If at all possible, try not to complain about him not saying it enough.

If you’re happily married for the past 10 years, my first ? is whether this is new recent behavior for him or has he always had issues with that particular expression.

Sometimes people aren’t as in touch with their emotions, or aren’t able to as easily express them.

It sounds like it’s very important to you to feel validated, and that he’s aware how important this is to you.

You’ll have to talk through this together, maybe come up with alternative expressions if it’s that specific one he has issues with?

It really just sounds like he’s the type of person who feels that actions speak louder than words, and that his devotion to both you and your family should clear up any doubts of whether he loves you or not.

Tell him gently.
You are lovely and he will understand.

I think it’s very possible for a person to say it too much. This is especially true if it has the ring of a teenage phone conversation. “No, you hang up first. I love you more.” Yikes!

If you need to hear it more than he’s saying it, though, I’d ask him what the issue is for him. Why doesn’t he want to do that for you? Is there something that could convince him to do that a bit more for you? Is there something that would make you happier not needing to hear it as much?

Then there’s baby talk. Are you telling him in baby talk? Are you telling him in public in baby talk?

That WILL turn someone off.

I used to know a COUPLE that talked baby talk to each other in public. Yuch.

Preach, brother. :^>

I’ve been married twenty years. When my wife says I love you, I say I love you back to her. I don’t understand the reluctance to tell someone you love them. Seems odd to make them guess. Sure, you can show someone you love them by your actions, but saying those three little words doesn’t cost anything. Someday, Evelyn forbid, they won’t be there for you to say it to, and you are going to be sorry you didn’t do it when you had the chance.

Tell the people you love that you love them. it’s doesn’t hurt anything, and it will make them feel good and happy. What’s wrong with making people happy? Sometimes a few kind words have more of an effect than you could possibly know. So just do it, and be glad you have people to love and that love you back.

No such thing. I tell my wife and daughter constantly.

I’m at the point now where I’ll say to my daughter, “Hey, guess what”.
And she’ll say, “You love me” (all wilting-like).
Then I’ll say, ”Damn Straight!”

I also agree with @evelyns_pet_zebra. Those you love will not be here forever.

Come to think of it, my daughter NEVER tells me back. But it doesn’t surprise me. When she was small, we referred to her as “bitchette” (as in “little bitch”). :)

@Mr_M: That’s unfortunate.

http://www.fluther.com/users/Mr_M/ How funny,..what age is your girl? That’s got a lot to do with it! Or maybe she remembers the “bitchette” comments… :)

20!

But I KNOW she does, so it’s OK.

Beautiful, Mr. M!

I’m the type of person that never says it, it bothers my husband but I just don’t feel the need to gush about it all the time. I say it when I feel a surge of love going through me, and I just have to tell him. But, I don’t usually say it back. He’s come to terms with it lol. He knows I love him.

I get uncomfortable when someone says it too much. I’ve had boyfriends who said it all the time and it got annoying. It means more to me to see that someone loves me, through actions. I know I don’t say it often but to me words are too easy. I’d rather show it.

@cprevite My wife and I do the same thing.

Guess what?
You love me?
Yes!
Guess what else?
What?
I love you more than anything in the whole world.

I can never hear it enough. Maybe because my parents hardly ever said it to me.

@tinyfaery: Yaay. A fellow sap.

I love it

I think it is possible to say I love you too much and the amount is different for each person…this however has not much to do with whether your husband should start saying it more…this is your relationship, you’ve been in it for a while, you should continue to be happy in it and if this makes you unhappy, you should discuss it…and not it would NOT kill him to say it more if it’s important to you..

My sister told me her former husband used to call and say “I love you” when he had to work late, and she later found out he was having an affair and not staying at the office at all. When it’s not sincere, that would be saying “I love you” too much.

Yes you can say it too much. I am a female, have been married for 10+ years and I say it so much it feels mechanical. Obviously I love my husband.. we have been together forever, but really how many times a day is too much. I could tak to my husband 20 times a day. He has made it a requirement that when we hang up we say I love you. So I say it 19 times and on the 20th time he becomes irate and gives me crap for not saying it…. WTF! Sorry for wanting to just say bye once in a while. Another thing that irriates me is that if I wanna cut the phone call down to say 10 minutes he gets all sour puss on me. I am not gonna hang on the phone just to hang on the phone. Sorry for the rant.