General Question

Jude's avatar

What does it say to you when a person cares as to whether their ex's new partner is attractive or not?

Asked by Jude (32112points) April 18th, 2009

Or perhaps, better looking. For some people, it matters. Is it a sign of insecurity? I’ve got a friend like that. For me, I could care less. What’s more important is that my ex is happy and not with some asshole.

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15 Answers

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

Yes. Insecurity smorshed with a smidge of jealousy.

hug_of_war's avatar

That they aren’t over the relationship.

casheroo's avatar

When I used to date, I always wanted to know what the previous girlfriends looked like, I was young and wanted to compare. Probably from insecurity and jealousy? I’m not sure.

I know what the girls look like that are dating my exes. It always surprises me how different they are (look wise) from me. Like, my one ex, before I dated him he dated a dark Greek girl, and then an Asian girl, then me…plain ol blonde & blue eyes(used to be a blonde) And now he’s dating a girl who is ethnic looking, I’m thinking Greek, I’ve never asked her what she is. She’s really cute though, and younger than me lol. I’m just happy for my ex. That takes time. It took me quite some time to get over him, I’d say it was 6 months before I wanted to move on.

hearkat's avatar

It’s totally about insecurity… which is what is at the root of all jealousy.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Seems like a petty thing to me. Happiness is what’s important.

@hug_of_war is absolutely right.

seekingwolf's avatar

Could possibly be out of jealousy, but I’d def say it’s out of insecurity. The person wants to see how they “stack up” to the new partner. This can happen even when a person is over the relationship. Their insecurity of how they look or are as a partner drives them to do this.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

What it means is this: “I’m sad bitter and resentful I’m not with you so I hope you never get anyone as attractive as I think I am and that you’ll miss me for that and think you were wrong to let me go or that you’ll pine away for me because I let you go and I want you to learn a lesson of how much life will suck for you without me.” Either way it’s a selfish thing.

3or4monsters's avatar

I can only think of one ex where I cared. Someone told me he was dating my clone (not my twin, just someone who looks like me).

Hey exes, please don’t date my clones, that’s kind of creepy.

fundevogel's avatar

I just don’t want to see someone I thought well of dating someone that comes across as a shallow choice in a partner. They’d lose some serious respect.

I hate it when guys (or girls) talk trash about girls they used to date for being stupid or conceited or whatever. If you knowingly chose to date them and their egregious personality flaw you can’t complain about it.

jca's avatar

i think people tend to compare their traits with the new partner (“she’s pretty but she drinks a lot” or “she is fat but she makes a lot of money”) and justify why the ex is with the new person.

ru2bz46's avatar

For me, it was really disappointing to see them go for someone that most people consider to be nothing more than a bag of meat and water. I want them to be happy and find a better looking, smarter, more successful person than I. Dredging the lake bed for a chunk of flesh with which to replace me really hurts.

wundayatta's avatar

It says they are shallow.

Garebo's avatar

Once seen, I never look again, and when I do, I dont care anymore.

dynamicduo's avatar

It says that the person cares more about how other people live their lives than they care about living their own. Or the same about opinions. I mean, how would the looks of your ex’s new partner have ANY relevance in your life whatsoever? I conclude it has none, thus why even care?

jo_with_no_space's avatar

They still care, of course.

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