General Question

emvirgo's avatar

Do you think you should confront someone when they said some really bad things to you when they were drunk?

Asked by emvirgo (1points) April 19th, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

10 Answers

MacBean's avatar

Personally, I wouldn’t. But I’m kind of a doormat. I’d either write it off as drunken idiocy and forget about it, or if what they said really bothered me, I just wouldn’t speak to them anymore.

However, I’d also fully support anyone who did want to confront the other person. And if I happened to be the person who actually said the really bad things, I would expect to be called on it.

cookieman's avatar

I don’t believe that being drunk causes you to say things you don’t mean. It simply eliminates your ability to edit yourself or apply tact.

That being said, it would depend on how close you are to the person. I may say something to a really close friend. I wouldn’t be confrontational though.

A lesser friend or acquaintence, I would probably just let it go.

Either way, I would certainly view the relationship differently. That is, assuming what they said was really offensive.

casheroo's avatar

I confronted my husband about his drinking. When we first started dating, he liked to drink too much. And he becomes a violent drunk. I would not put up with that. He never said anything, but his actions literally scared me. I don’t mind when he drinks every oncein a’s when he gets drunk that there’s an issue. I told him how he is, and he didn’t want to ever hurt or scare me, so he just rarely gets drunk.
If the person you are talking about just becomes an asshole when they drink, I’d tell them upfront..“You’re an asshole when you drink”

oratio's avatar


Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Of course I would..I can’t stand obnoxious drunks no matter how close we are..and my friends and partner are aware of this…

Darwin's avatar

I would let them know that they said some awful stuff when they were drunk pretty much the way @casheroo says it: “You’re an asshole when you drink.” I would then resolve to a) never be around that person again when drinking is involved, and b) put some distance between myself and that person.

Drunks don’t lie (at least not successfully) and if my drunken friend said awful stuff about me to me, then that means they have thought it at least once. Thus, they may not be deserving of my whole-hearted friendship.

OTOH, I might also consider his/her words to see if there is even the faintest echo of truth in them and take steps to be a better person if there is.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Yes! Bring it up the next morning when they’re feeling like hell and that’ll drive the point. Bring it up often.

I scoff at the notion that somehow people become jerks when they drink.
If someone is an jerk when they’re drunk it means they’re an jerk. Drinking just removed their inhibitions which keeps them from acting like an jerk.
Insurance companies would call that a “pre existing condition”.

loser's avatar

Yeah, they should know that they aren’t a very nice drunk.

Blondesjon's avatar

Whatever it was I said I am so, very, very sorry…

arnbev959's avatar

I wouldn’t. People say stupid things when they’re drunk. That doesn’t mean you should write it off completely—people are still responsible for what they say while under the influence—but keep in mind that the person probably wouldn’t have said it while sober, and may not have meant it. Or may have exaggerated what they said.

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