General Question

nromstadt's avatar

Under what circumstances is it acceptible/necessary to lie to your parents?

Asked by nromstadt (626points) April 22nd, 2009

As I get older, I find myself lying more and more to my parents- mainly because I don’t want them to worry or don’t want to get in trouble. I know this is bad and feel guilty because I know that they trust me, so I was just wondering if you think there are ever times when it’s okay to lie.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

10 Answers

adreamofautumn's avatar

You really shouldn’t have to lie to your parents. However, it also depends on your age. I’m not in high school, I have been out of my parents house for 5 years…if my mum asks what I was up to last night I can say “stuff” if I don’t feel like answering, but if you’re 16 and they ask where you were last night…you tell them. I’m not “old”, I just respect my parents and know that lying to them isn’t the answer. If you have the type of relationship that you feel you can’t be honest with them than you either need to re-evaluate the actions you feel you need to hide or you need to re-evaluate the relationship and see what needs to be fixed so that there can be open and honest conversation between you. It will be the best thing you can do in the long run.

veronasgirl's avatar

I’m 21 years old, and I am finding that I too am lying to my parents more and more. I honestly think it is just part of the seperation phase. But you do need to ask yourself about what and why you are lying to them.

cwilbur's avatar

It’s never acceptable or necessary to lie to your parents. If you really are responsible, you should be able to say “I’d really rather not discuss it,” and mean it.

redstripe11's avatar

Speaking as a parent. 95% of the time our children lie, we know. We were young once too and did the same things and think and feel the same anxieties that you do. Most of us understand the separation phase as we went through it too. I think the more honest you are with your parents, the better relationship and mutual respect you will have for each other. I think that lying is an indication that one of the two parties (Child or parents) does not believe that the child has matured to adulthood.

augustlan's avatar

When you are a child, never. When you are an adult, whenever you feel it’s necessary. That said, I think @adreamofautumn really nailed this one. If you find yourself feeling that it is necessary, you need to reevaluate either the relationship or your actions.

nromstadt's avatar

I’m technically an adult, but my parents still treat me grown siblings the same way they treat me with the constant questioning, lectures, and disapproving attitudes. It’s not like I do outrageous things and I feel that I’m more mature and responsible than most kids my age. I’ve managed to stay out of trouble and graduate first in my class, and I feel like I should be allowed to do some of the things that would get me in trouble with my parents. The “I’d rather not discuss” it thing would only get me in more trouble as then she would be paranoid. My siblings (21+) occassionally get drug tested…If this helps show the level of my parents strictness/suspicions. I don’t like lying, but I want to have a life at the same time.

augustlan's avatar

Oh, lordy. Your parents drug test your adult siblings? Are you in the US?

I take it you are 18+ but still live with your parents. Is that correct? If so, you’ll have to put up with a certain amount of their interference/prying until you move out. Once you do though, you are perfectly within your rights to tell or not tell them anything you like. At some point, it sounds like you will need to stand up to your parents and explain that it is your life.

cwilbur's avatar

Why do your siblings put up with drug tests? This sounds seriously dysfunctional.

nromstadt's avatar

They put up with them because my parents pay the tuition… And I am moving out at the end of the summer to go away to school. I don’t do drugs or anything of that nature- they just wouldn’t be accepting of normal things that teenagers do for fun, or sometimes just who I choose to hang out with… I love them and we get along- they just don’t like the idea of their daughter not being perfect, so I kind of feel like lying let’s them believe that. I understand that they worry, but since I feel the choices I make are safe, I make them.

jo_with_no_space's avatar

When it seems like lying would hurt them less.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther