General Question

joybells34's avatar

What does everyone prefer...fat or skinny in a significant other?

Asked by joybells34 (359points) April 22nd, 2009

I personally don’t like a man that’s too skinny. I definately like some meat on those bones

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

89 Answers

Facade's avatar

I’m extremely attracted to big muscular men (think Will Smith in his action movies). But my babe is of medium build and I love it :)

Kelly27's avatar

I really don’t care, some people I just clicked with and it had nothing to do with whether or not they were fat or skinny.

elijah's avatar

I am not usually attracted to people who are skinny scrawny or too muscular. I like girls to be curvy and soft, and men to be medium build. I don’t want someone who’s obsessive about diet or exercise.

ohmyword's avatar

It really doesn’t matter, I don’t usually notice, unless it’s incredibly noticeable. I think it’s about the comfort/confidence they have in their build.

fundevogel's avatar

I like a body type I can comfortably get my arms around comfortably—fills my embrace, but doesn’t stuff it.

asmonet's avatar

I like skinny nerds. Twigs. :)
But healthy is important too… I guess.

Jayne's avatar

Hey, I’m skinny! And a nerd! Yah!
I guess I’ll go with healthy as well (in celebrity tabloid terms, disastrously overweight)

jessicar's avatar

I like a nice in between. All though I’ve been with big and little. I mostly go by personality but they do need to be attractive enough to get my attention.

Jude's avatar

I love a woman with curves.

buster's avatar

Im a chubby chaser at heart. I am scared I will snap a skinny chick like a twig.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Healthy, no bulky muscles, no big belly.

Aethelwine's avatar

I just prefer that my man is not skinnier than me. Other than that, I don’t care.

qualitycontrol's avatar

Fat all the way. I love big girls with really big curvy bodies. My friends think I’m gross but I dunno why I just like a big woman…although looks aren’t everything my gf now is small but if she put on weight I would not mind

squirbel's avatar

I like healthy in-betweens. My fiancé is tall and has the proportions of a man I can feel safe with, protected.

I know I’m protected, he’s a crazy-a%$ Marine.

elijah's avatar

@jonsblond I agree with that! My man can not weigh less than me. They can’t be shorter either, and I wear heels most the time.

cak's avatar

@jonsblond – I always had a rule, his thighs could never be smaller than mine! then I realized that I’m 5’2” and petite. They had really not be smaller than mine! That would probably be unhealthy!

My husband has a belly. He didn’t always have one this size, but he’s always carried some extra weight. I’m fine with someone with some meat on his bones. And, like @elijahsuicide, I agree, women look better with curves!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I’d have to lean to the skinny side..well, not SKINNY, but thin. Okay, not TOO thin…medium build. Just right. But not fat. I’m just 5’2” & little, so I like someone who I can comfortably get my arms around.

hitomi's avatar

In my head I’m on the bigger side – people have argued that I’m not but I am -, especially for a short woman, so I am generally attracted INITIALLY (just on looks) to taller more solid guys – but the guys I have really been into over the past few years haven’t necessarily fit that because in the end it’s about the personality.

tinyfaery's avatar

My wife was 98 pounds when we met, now she is 120 pounds. My feelngs for her have not changed, either way. Though, her ass is a lot more juicy these days.

hearkat's avatar

Physical characteristics are superficial and will change with aging and illness; therefore, I do not use them as a criteria for choosing whom to date.

Facade's avatar

@hearkat But…you have to look at them

cak's avatar

@tinyfaery – lurve to you! I keep telling my husband that if I gain weight – and hopefully I will…I need to gain, he better never complain about it. He said that he would welcome each pound. I’m 97lbs now. I’d love to get to 110. hopefully now that all the chemo crap is over, I will!

SeventhSense's avatar

Certainly by now you’ve got the hint that @asmonet would jump your bones like an opposing gang member from West Side Story. :)

avalmez's avatar

need some amount of cushion for the pushin’, but don’t want to get smothered in it. hardbody is the opposite extreme

hearkat's avatar

@Facade: Yes, I do… and as mentioned in a recent question about attractiveness, I have found that a person with whom I “click” will become increasingly more attractive the better I get to know them and I see their character shine through. I have dated men taller, shorter, heavier, skinnier, similar skin tone (I’m very fair) and much, much darker (and in between).

At my age, I am mindful that not only do I have to look at them, but I also want to be able to have a conversation with them in a decade or four.

Facade's avatar

@hearkat isn’t everyone mindful of that?

SeventhSense's avatar

I don’t know but she looks like she has strong shoulders and wears those rubber gloves like a seasoned pro….just a guess but in my mind she’s barefoot too :)

avalmez's avatar

@SeventhSense very non-pc, very…but thanks anyways!

SeventhSense's avatar

Yes, no ones ever accused me of being PC. At least not to my face…the horror. :)

joybells34's avatar

To add to my own question I am 6’2 and 300 lbs. We need people to love us too lol.

3or4monsters's avatar

I don’t notice the shape of their bodies unless it hits either extreme, though muscles (be they thin and defined, or covered in “padding”) are always a plus. I like an active partner. :)

Myndecho's avatar

Mainly skinny, I rarely have any physical attraction to fat people.

sjmc1989's avatar

I love really lean guys im not into huge muscles at all

Myndecho's avatar

I like leans, muscular, flamboyant looking guys, basically all guys.
Examples: Lean


sjmc1989's avatar

@Myndecho I love the lean guys just my preference Muscular guys have just never turned me on quiet like skinny guys

Myndecho's avatar

I should have showed you Brent Everett, he must work. :D

Likeradar's avatar

I usually like big, meaty men. Maybe because I’m tall, and it’s nice to feel petite? My current guy is a string bean though… he’s like my own personal late 90’s Calvin Klein model. :)

sjmc1989's avatar

@Myndecho Yeah just googled Brent Everett. Not really what I had in mind but Thanks anyway!!

lisaj89's avatar

I think it’s gross when guys have big bulky muscles! I don’t care about a six pack or anything, but I do like a guy who has strong arms, not bulging muscles though. I just like somebody that makes me feel cozy when I hug him :). Oh, and he must be at least six foot so that I’m shorter than him when I wear heels!

qualitycontrol's avatar

I was going to post a link to my dream girl but I’m on my iPhone, anyway it’s Flo from the progressive commercials! She’s not big but she has a good build, Im really unattracted to skinny girls

qualitycontrol's avatar

LOL, Facade, GA

casheroo's avatar

@tinyfaery that’s what i like to hear
@augustlan so true!

I just want them to be healthy. My husband’s body has changed a lot since we started seeing each other. I believe he was almost 22 when we met (might have been almost 23) and he was still in that skinny college guy body, now he’s more stocky and has gained weight. When I was pregnant, I ate a lot and felt self conscious about it, so he’d eat with me…thus making him fat with me lol. He’s such a trooper. I was able to lose the weight, but he wasn’t.

casheroo's avatar

@asmonet I know the perfect scrawny guy for you! my brother is like 125lbs and about 6’! then you’d be in my wonderful family!!

hiphiphopflipflapflop's avatar

Buxom/hourglass-figure. Would never make it as a mainstream fashion magazine model today and would be hassled to lose weight in Hollywood. 5’8” would be about the perfect height. :)

asmonet's avatar

@casheroo: You just described boy heaven.

I like string bean boys. :)

casheroo's avatar

@asmonet he’s in pictures on my facebook, take a look. i’m always trying to set him up lol

asmonet's avatar

@casheroo: On. My. Way. Now.

ahankes's avatar

Not fat or skinny! Skinny is gross, fat is yuck, and rock hard muscular is disgusting. Just a medium build is best.

SeventhSense's avatar

Actually, I like them like this, and this, and this but more than anything I like pretty brunettes with dark eyes. I pretty open on body type but my longest relationship was a petite Italian brunette. Soft though, not a bony girl. So maybe that’s my natural. And most petite girls seem to like that I’m a big guy. They like when I pick them up and carry them into the bedroom. :)

cak's avatar

@SeventhSense – grrr! Very grrrrrr!! It’s great when hubby does that….not so great when hubby picked me up and moved me from the shoe department. Dog house for him, that day!

kenmc's avatar

I’m with @hiphiphopflipflapflop except 5’8” height. I’m just at 5’9” and I like my girls shorter than me. Except Jeanna. She’s just fine at 5’8” (but can’t wear heals when we’re out).

cak's avatar

@SeventhSensebwahahahahaha! Exactly!

peyton_farquhar's avatar

My man’s as big as a bear and I love every inch of him. I seem to always fall for the tall, thickly-built guys.

hiphiphopflipflapflop's avatar

@boots well, I’m 6’2” you see. This 5’8” thing is the result of, um, research. ;)

kenmc's avatar

@hiphiphopflipflapflop Ah! I see. Then we’re pretty much going for the same distance from us to them… research is key

knitfroggy's avatar

My aunt gave me some sage advice when I was dating….“always date fat guys, they never skimp on the food.” This sounded like a good idea since I’m a big girl and I do like to eat. I married a big guy, I loves his squishy belly and he loves my big ol’ butt, so it is good!

ohmyword's avatar

Not overly muscular. That’s my only turn-off. physical turn-off

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

Nothing extreme in either direction + personality = win.

qashqai's avatar

I do prefer Her

Pol_is_aware's avatar

Fit and curvy

Jack79's avatar

Curvy, but not fat. Certainly over the “presumed norm” presented by all those fashion magazines. If I can feel her bones, it’s time for a pizza.

@joybells34 oh btw I just officially broke up with my long-distance girlfriend. So, when shall I take you out on a date? ;)

funky_princess's avatar

Muscular, mmmmm

Jude's avatar

I prefer her

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

no matter the sex and or gender of the person, I’d want their body to look androgynous in that I want both sharp angles and smooth lines, some curves….I’ve also noticed that since I’ve been with my current partner, I am much more attracted to people with bodies like him…he’s about 5’8’’ and 125 lbs..I weigh much more than him, heh, but he loves it…

3or4monsters's avatar

Just for fun, I started tallying up the answers. Some people’s answers were a single tally, other people’s answers hit as much as 3 (ex: “hate fat hate thin love muscles!” or “hate muscles hate thin love average”)

Healthy/Average: 15
Don’t care: 11
Loves curvy or even fat: 8
Loves muscular: 7
Hates muscular: 7
Loves thin: 6
Hates fat: 4
Hates thin: 2

My count/interpretations could be wrong, but I just thought it was interesting. We seem to be strongly in favor of “average” or just don’t care.

cak's avatar

@3or4monsters – interesting!

Sloane2024's avatar

My dream guy is about 6’0, muscular and fit, but not “overdone”. I don’t want him skinnier than me, for I’d feel as though he thought I was fat. I love wearing heels, and being 5’7, they increase my height quite a bit. The guy I’m currently dating meets very few of these criteria. He’s exactly as tall as me, and not in the best shape; however, he encourages me to wear heels whenever I want, constantly reminds me of how much he loves the fact that he can look directly into my eyes, and reminds me daily of how I’m the most “beautiful girl in the world”. Now, could I ask for anything better?

I think not.

hearkat's avatar

I wondered about those who said “healthy”... since when can you tell a person’s medical status from their appearance? I am overweight, but I am healthier than many (if not most) of my slimmer friends and acquaintances. My blood pressure, cholesterol, and all the other basic measures of health are in the normal range. The others have cholesterol problems, fatigue issues, auto-immune disorders, GI problems, and so on.

If that argument makes you want to replace “healthy” with the word “fit”, I can again refute that you can’t judge a book by its cover. Fitness professionals generally underestimate my flexibility, strength and endurance because of my size. Yes, I was sedentary for too long, and have only recently started physically challenging myself again; but still I see slimmer people in my classes at the gym who tire out or lose their balance before me, or can’t get as deep into a yoga pose as I can.

Granted, there are exceptions to every rule; but fess up… your judgement of attractiveness is based on physical size, pure and simple, because you have know way of knowing how “fit” or “healthy” someone is just by looking at them (especially if they have put in the extra effort to look appealing… tans, hair processing, cosmetic procedures, makeup, spandex undergarments, etc.).

elijah's avatar

@hearkat by healthy I mean not sickly thin or morbidly obese. There is a wide range in between. I’m not looking for perfection. Obviously I can’t tell their health status by mere glance. I don’t care if someone has tip top medical condition. If I’m not attracted physically, his balance and cholesterol level mean nothing.

cak's avatar

@hearkat – my husband is “healthy” in every meaning of the word, except for his weight. There are health ramifications to carrying the extra weight; however, overall, he is healthy. I did not say healthy, but that was just an omission.

When I met my husband, he already was overweight, he’s just gained more, over the years. He was already losing hair. Once I had a conversation with him, I realized something about him that I hadn’t ever realized about another person on the planet. That conversation wasn’t enough. I wanted to talk to him more. Each time I spoke to him, I wanted more. I still do. That, coupled with what I found to be an attractive man on the outside – no not perfect, but damn…he was attractive to me, was what eventually made me fall in love with this fantastic man.

To me, “healthy” means not anorexic. Frankly, on side of my family has many obese members, I find several of them to be beautiful people. I don’t just look at the cover before I make any judgments. I actually get to know the person, because if they aren’t well-spoken, keep up with things and have a wonderful sense of humor – I probably couldn’t be in a relationship with that person, I don’t care if it was Johnny Depp standing in front of me, it wouldn’t work.

I don’t think it’s safe to assume anything about how a person really judges another person. You don’t really know how a person decides if they are attracted to another person.

hearkat's avatar

My comment was more for the heterosexual men who said they prefer a “healthy” woman. I am healthy physically, mentally and emotionally – which is more than many thin, slim, skinny, and “average” women can say. I earn a decent living in a career I enjoy, and am an independent person. I am easy-going, low-maintenance, open-minded, quick-witted. I am also compassionate, patient and loyal. Not to mention that I love the outdoors, basketball, football, music, movies and sex! But I get judged by a single glance and deemed unworthy of someone’s time because I also enjoy good food?

(I apologize for the rant; it’s been a very stressful week, and I’m just aggravated)

lisaj89's avatar

It doesn’t really sound like a rant to me….more like a personal ad.

hearkat's avatar

@lisaj89: HaHaHa! You’re right! But that wasn’t my intention. I was just trying to make the point that no one is perfect… we all have flaws. So why do I get passed over because of a visible flaw for others whose worst flaws may be of intellect or character?

lisaj89's avatar

You’re right! I’d much rather have physical flaws than personality flaws! Everybody gets old and saggy eventually anyway.

cak's avatar

@hearkat – I hear you. I see what you are saying and you know what, they are missing out on someone great. @lisaj89 is absolutely right. Everyone gets old and things do start to move south.

I’d take the physical flaw any day, over character flaws. My husband got the petite woman that appeared healthy….13 surgeries, cancer, leukemia and many broken bones later, guess who has spent more time in the hospital. The petite healthy woman or the guy who was already overweight? Yep…I was the ticking time bomb.

I’m sorry if my reply was snarky.

elijah's avatar

@hearkat. But what’s wonderful is the fact that everyone has different tastes! So you are not a tiny girl, neither am I anymore. I work with what I got and if that’s not good enough for someone, fuck ‘em. We all have days we feel ugly, no matter what other people think or say. Someone out there will think you are perfect, you just haven’t met him yet!

hearkat's avatar

@lisaj89, @cak and @elijahsuicide:
Thanks for the understanding and encouragement.

Jack79's avatar

@hearkat I think those that said “healthy” were not referring to actual health issues (such as high cholesterol or something). They meant “not anorexic”. But yes, let’s face it, looks do count. I don’t know what you look like, so I can’t comment on that. But I can say that I, as well as most men, prefer women to be slightly curvier than what fashion tells women we do (ie we prefer Marilyn to Twiggy).

Secondly, even though looks do count (and let’s not have illusions about that), they’re not everything, and nobody is that shallow. Eventually people break up with gorgeous but stupid people, and everyone enjoys a good laugh, with someone who is intelligent and understanding. My last girlfriend was certainly not my type, but she adored me. She stood by me. And she sacrificed a lot of things for me. What more could I ask for?

So I’m sure you’ll find someone who’ll appreciate you for who you are. Perhaps someone who also enjoys food? ;)

elijah's avatar

@Jack79 great answer :)

CMaz's avatar

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

mcbealer's avatar

I’ll take sane and if he’s a night owl it would be lovely

GoonSquad's avatar

Love is blind.

Repo_the_Genetic_Opera's avatar

I like tall guys that are plump. More to love! (I’ve never liked skinny guys…)

TheOnlyException's avatar

Personally attracted to guys on the plump side, I can’t explain it!
I like em big I like em chunky

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther