General Question

Blondesjon's avatar

Is it a societal flaw or an evolutionary anomaly that Smurfs always have blue balls?

Asked by Blondesjon (33942points) April 24th, 2009

Is it a Darwinian glitch that causes the poor little fellas to experience such intense, scrotal discomfort?

Is it living in a testosterone fueled society that has only the promised release of a solitary female that flirts like a whore but would never put out?

Is it simply because their capri-esque leggings were much too tight?

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14 Answers

tinyfaery's avatar

The smurphs are asexual, they don’t even have man parts. Have you ever seen a bulge in those little, white shorts?

Smurfette was a creation, so she is an anomaly. She is doomed to be sexually unfulfilled.

Blondesjon's avatar

@tinyfaery…Perhaps the lack of bulge in those little white shorts denoted an entirely different type of sexual dissatisfaction for Smurfette.

SeventhSense's avatar

I don’t know but this guy’s certainly up to something

_bob's avatar

How do you know they’re blue?

SeventhSense's avatar

Uh oh..this just in…NOT SAFE FOR WORK…something about some Strawberry Cheesecake

Blondesjon's avatar

@bob_…How do you know they’re not?

SeventhSense's avatar

A litle FYI- That cartoon ^ came out in National Lampoon about 25 years ago. I remembered the issue and a little Google and tada! The wonders of the internet never cease to amaze..

asmonet's avatar

@tinyfaery: I’m so in love with you for knowing that.

asmonet's avatar

You could just ask this guy.

Nimis's avatar

C’mon, Smurfette is just their beard.
Smurf Village is really a homotopia.

Before Gargamel created her (and before Papa Smurf’s makeover),
the entirely-male village was perfectly content without her.

Blondesjon's avatar

@Nimis…Your answer has just taken the sting from my wounded pride at missing tineyfaery’s Donnie Darko reference. Thank you.

i always thought gargamel was a wee bit lavender as well, if ya catch my drift

tinyfaery's avatar

@blondesjon I made a Donnie Darko reference? That came out of my own head. But now that I think about it, I remember that scene.

Blondesjon's avatar

@tinyfaery…Ronald Fisher: Beer and pussy. That’s all I need.

Sean Smith: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.

Ronald Fisher: Smurfette?

Sean Smith: Yeah, not some tight-ass Middlesex chick, right? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.

Donnie: Smurfette doesn’t fuck.

Sean Smith: That’s bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.

Ronald Fisher: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.

Sean Smith: Okay, then, you know what? She fucks them and Vanity watches. Okay?

Ronald Fisher: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.

Sean Smith: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang, and he beats off to the tape.

Donnie: [shouts] First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have… reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It’s just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what’s the point of living… if you don’t have a dick?

Ronald Fisher: [pause] Dammit, Donnie. Why you gotta get all smart on us?

i didn’t even make a connection until this morning when i had some coffee in me instead of some beer

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