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ohmyword's avatar

Have you had to handle a long distance relationship? Could you handle one?

Asked by ohmyword (608points) April 26th, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

19 Answers

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I’ve only ever had to handle a long distance infatuation and it was only for 6mos. I would be able to handle a long distance relationship provided I could see my SO in person at least every other month.

Facade's avatar

I’m trying to handle it. Don’t have any advice though, sorry.

ohmyword's avatar

@Facade I’m attempting as well, it’s getting easier (because I’m moving sooner than later to where he is) but it’s complicated matter!

Facade's avatar

@ohmyword Good for yall! And yea, it’s very complicated, especially when people (innocently) ask about your relationship. Having to explain makes me sad, that’s probably true for most people. But hooray for couples getting together!

adreamofautumn's avatar

I spent a year and half in a relationship that was across an ocean. I am an American, she’s a Brit. After she studied abroad at my school she had to go home and we chose to stay together. Hardest and most expensive thing i’ve ever had to do in my life. We broke up because the distance was really starting to hurt our relationship after awhile, we decided if we have any chance at a future it would surely be ruined by trying to keep doing trans-atlantic for another couple of years until we got out of grad school. Ending that relationship, and knowing that if we were in the same country it would be different was the hardest thing i’ve done in a long, long, long time. I still love her so much, hopefully that future we were aiming for will happen eventually.

hug_of_war's avatar

For me, I have to know there’s an ending date for the long distance thing. I can’t do it for an indefinite amount of time.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

I have, and I’ve learned that one attribute all long-distance relationships must have is complete trust in one another. The lack of this crushed mine.

casheroo's avatar

I could have never handled one. I still don’t think I could ever be far from my husband. I don’t know how military wives do it. People suggest my husband should go into the military, but I’d be absolutely devastated if he did.

TaoSan's avatar

Yeah, that’s a difficult one. I thought it could work, but am now pretty sure that it doesn’t. I mean it’s different if you are a couple and one has to leave for a while with a definite end date, but this whole open-ended who knows what’s to come thingy really has no other way to go but painful, in which form ever.

Triiiple's avatar

Doesnt work. If it does, its not just fulfilling and the only thing thats gonna come is pain.

Dont believe the hype in how people say “if you have total trust and love it will work” or especially when the other person says “I can handle this, can you?!”.

cwilbur's avatar

I have tried it. It’s just like a regular relationship, except without all the actual personal contact that makes relationships worth bothering with.

If I were seriously involved with someone who had no choice but to move, I’d consider doing it again. But I won’t enter into a long-distance relationship, or persist in one unless there’s a clear plan for making it a face-to-face relationship.

benjaminlevi's avatar

It would probably be a lot harder if it was supposed to be a monogamous relationship.

lukiarobecheck's avatar

I am in one right now with plans to move to the same city as her. It all depends on the job market right now. I am having a difficult time finding a job in her city. I do have a good job now, but it is in the wrong city. We are only three hours away. But, no long distant relationship is great. I am not too worried though, she is the one for me. Now all I need is a job offer to open up. Positive thinking ;-)

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I had a semi-serious one for five months (MO to GA), and, two years later, found myself in a more serious one that lasted for two years (MO to PA). For the first, I was really too young to handle it, but for the second, it was a great learning experience, and I loved him, and, in some convoluted way, I still do. We broke up because he couldn’t handle the distance (I would have been fine for at least some time more, and we couldn’t forsee any time in the future when things would work out in our favor. He was younger, which didn’t help either. The thing that ultimately brought us down was a communication breakdown; we were too busy, and he stopped being diligent about talking to me. We also didn’t have the means or ability or scheduling to be able to see each other very often. In the period of two years, we saw each other six times. Although each instance was for three to six days, it still wasn’t enough to keep us strong. I think the only time when long distance really works out is when, like @lukiarobecheck is experiencing, there is a plan in place to be in the same place in the relatively near future. Not knowing about the future pretty much doomed my relationship.

Jude's avatar

I’ve tried to do it, twice. It’s way too hard. Would I ever do it again? Nope.

Urban's avatar

Could I handle it, Damn straight. It seems the other party in my particular case couldn’t. ::sigh:: Way to drop some salt on my wounds.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Yes, I’ve been in one.

No, I could not….not again…after what I’ve learned.

Bastion's avatar

I’m smitten with a boy that lives 4 states away. Since we’re still in high school, even though i’m about to graduate and he’s still a Junior, I feel that I could wait for him awhile yet. If all things go according to plan I will be seeing him next year. But really, we talk constantly. He’s my best friend, my confidante, and someone whose company I enjoy immensely.

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