Would you please offer a young flutherite some advice on how to deal with a severely dysfunctional graduation?

In May, my cousin is graduating college. At least, we all hope he is. He was supposed to graduate last year but instead spent his time drinking, partying and popping any prescription pill he can get his hands on. Needless to say, we are all a little skeptical about whether or not he will actually graduate. Since it appears that he will, a large number of my family members and his godparents will be there.

This raises a huge number of problems. My grandmother will be there, and I am the only person who likes her. I daresay I’m the only person in my family who loves her. My mother complains about her constantly, even though she knows how much I hate it. It is fair to say that if I am damaged (and who among us isn’t?) it is chiefly because my mother says so much awful stuff about my grandmother. In addition, my cousin’s godparents will be there. These are two awful people who wouldn’t look twice at me or my mother if my grandmother wasn’t in numerous wealthy and influential circles. Their son might be there as well, a nasty, manipulative, sociopathic young man who delights in nothing more than visiting psychological torture upon anyone he doesn’t like.

If I go to this graduation, I will spend an entire weekend listening to my mother talk about how awful my grandmother and my cousin’s godparents are being. When I am not listening to her, I will most likely be subjected to stories from my cousin about how drunk and high he is and how drunk and high he’s going to get.

I am going because my aunt would be broken-hearted if I didn’t attend. I love her very very much and am very close to her. I am also going because my mother would never forgive me if I let her walk into that crowd alone.

My question is this: what would you do/what have you done to cope in a situation like this? I do not mean to sound so melodramatic but any family gathering usually goes like this and I usually end up in tears more than once. How would you handle this?

Thank you for reading this whole thing. I realize it is as much rant as question, but I cannot express how grateful I will be for any advice.