General Question

DSully22's avatar

I constantly think and put myself before my girlfriend . How can I change this ?

Asked by DSully22 (12points) April 30th, 2009 from iPhone

I’m self-centered

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

18 Answers

eponymoushipster's avatar

put forth a concerted effort to think about other people first. step back and ask yourself if you’re being self-centered in the situation you’re in. don’t be so impulsive.

rooeytoo's avatar

You know what Nike says, “Just do it.” Before she dumps you.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Ask yourself “why am I more important than my girlfriend?”
Think about this for a while and you’ll find the answer you’re looking for.

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t see why you should stop doing it if you’re getting what you want. However, I’m sure people think you’re a schmuck. Maybe they don’t want to spend time with you. Whatever. If you’re down with that, don’t change.

Pol_is_aware's avatar

Try to see things from other people’s perspectives. Imagine being the other person interacting with you and be honest with yourself about how it would make you feel.

cak's avatar

First, let me congratulate you on being able to say this and want to change things. It is you that wants to change things, right? You aren’t doing it based on an ultimatum, right?

I think you just need to tell your girlfriend that you really want to change, but you’ve been this way long enough that it will take some time. You’ve just got to change. Since you really don’t give us an idea how this manifests itself – are you across the board, self-centered – or just in certain things? If it’s across the board, start picking small things. Let her go first, let her order first. Yield to her, let her pick the movies, let her decide on what to do. Lots of little things – just be sincere.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

If you’re able, carefully observe the behaviors of men/women who hit on her and see what she’s responding to. Trust me, someone always is working those angles and if she’s not feeling like a 2nd class citizen already being your gf then someone is going to point it out to her until they wear her down to take an offer elsewhere.

RedPowerLady's avatar

hubby is this you???


cak's avatar

@RedPowerLady bwaahahahahahaha!

RedPowerLady's avatar

@cak i really looked at the username too to decide if hubby had got on here to ask that, lol, i’m such a dork

cak's avatar

@RedPowerLady I’ve done that before. I keep waiting for him to join, hoping that he will. I could have sworn he did the other day.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@cak did you swear it was him because of a certain question that was asked?

cak's avatar

@RedPowerLady yep! I called him at work and asked if he joined. He snorted, said no – he was too busy.

Lothloriengaladriel's avatar

I’d like to know the answer as well but chances are you will never really change. Mine is the same, the only difference is he actually insists on putting other females feelings in front of mine, hopefully you aren’t doing that too.

ratboy's avatar

Give her an inch and she’ll take a mile.

ru2bz46's avatar

Get a new girlfriend. (Obviously, this one does not mean enough to you for you to treat her right, so get one who does. She’ll thank you for it.)

Sloane2024's avatar

Think about someone in your life that always acts very selfishly. They insist on being first, when you’re at their house, they never offer you a drink when they get themselves one, they feel as though they must pick the restaurant, movie, activity, etc., they never consider anyone’s needs or wants besides their own, and when having small talk with them, you know more about what they’ve done that day than you ever wanted to.

How much do you enjoy being around someone like that? Not much you say? Well, now think about how your girlfriend feels. Try replacing every thought in your mind with a “she” or “her” when contemplating your desires as opposed to a “me” or “I”. This will make a huge difference and also result in you thinking about what you say and do before you actually say or do it. She’ll notice, and, more than likely, treat you even better than she does now. assuming she’s a relatively good gf, that is.

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