General Question

Speranza's avatar

Is this one reason men need space?

Asked by Speranza (117points) May 2nd, 2009

I’m in a new relationship and spent yesterday agonising over why I hadn’t heard from him. Told myself I was being stupid, overanalysing, etc.. which turned out to be the case. The reason he hadn’t called?
“I had to do some painting and I knew if you were there I wouldn’t be able to get on with it cos I’d be all over you!”
Granted, this is New Relationship stuff. But I just wondered, do many of you out there need that kind of space at times? As in, you want to see the SO but you know it will lead you astray from your tasks?! LOL I said I would have helped to paint but he said there was no way he could have concentrated (so he got it done and we’re meeting later).

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10 Answers

justwannaknow's avatar

Men can be very single minded when it comes to women in a new relationship especially. We want you around but know we can not concentrate on anything else if you are there. Give us our space as necessary, accept us as morons and love us anyway.

Kiev749's avatar

Haha. Work before play. I am in a new relationship and when i am at work, i find that i get it done faster while texting my lady.

peedub's avatar

That sounds like a pretty true and honest answer to me. If it’s not, then it is a really good excuse.

knitfroggy's avatar

Everyone needs space sometimes. I know when a relationship is new and you’re in that obsessive stage it’s hard. When my husband and I were dating he lived about 40 miles away so I would spend weekends with him and any other time I could. But sometimes I’d want to just go home and relax. It would hurt his feelings that I didn’t want to spend my every waking second with him. Now he wishes I’d leave him alone sometimes.

qualitycontrol's avatar

Well of we have something we know needs to get done and our sexy woman is there with us it’s like: hmm paint brushes or the sexy woman which would you choose lol? The work will only get done if she is somewhere else…

Speranza's avatar

HAhahaha Well I thought either ‘Good excuse!’ or ‘Truthful’. Thing is, it had genuinely never occurred to me that I affected him that much! He was pretty convincing though… it’s just that women are SO prone to seeing ‘needing space’ as a bad thing, and it’s not at all – usually…

Darwin's avatar

Personally, I have always needed more space than my husband, even back when we were dating. Although I loved him and married him, the hardest thing I had to get used to was the idea that I could never go shopping alone ever again. (Well, now that he is disabled, I can, but he still wants me around him all the rest of the time).

He likes to be joined at the hip, while I prefer separate but intersecting orbits.

Lupin's avatar

The guy probably has a job to do and knows that if he’s with you, there will be conversation (or something else he would not want to refuse). Sometimes people just want to watch TV, surf the net, answer emails, Fluther… They’ve already talked enough all day and nothing much has changed since they dropped you off at your place and the time they got home. Relax.
I have to change the oil in the tractor, so please don’t call me. I’m tired of cleaning oil off the damn phone. ;-)

Dorkgirl's avatar

I get a lot more done when my husband is not around. I can do what I want on my own schedule. I find that if he wants to hang out or goof off I’ll not do what I had thought I’d get done. So, this can go either way.
And, yes, well all need some space sometimes even in new relationships.

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