General Question

Myndecho's avatar

Do you think it's strange that I hate going out to clubs or pubs and drinking alcohol?

Asked by Myndecho (948points) May 2nd, 2009

My friends and family members keep asking me to go out I’ve said no for years why do they keep thinking I want to go?

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28 Answers

casheroo's avatar

Do you dislike drinking, or clubs?

I don’t like drinking, and I don’t like going to busy bars. My friends all know this, and usually only invite me to places they know I’ll be comfortable. They should be more understanding.

J0E's avatar

I feel the same way.

aviona's avatar

No. To each their own.

KatawaGrey's avatar

It’s not strange at all! I don’t drink alcohol and I’ve never really been clubbing. Are you a quiet or shy guy? If that’s the case, they may think that they are drawing you out of your shell when in fact you’re just not interested in the same things. My suggestion would be to find some activity that meets on a regular basis, preferably during these times when your friends and family want to take you to a bar or club. This way, you’re doing something you enjoy and you have a handy excuse for when someone asks you.

I find that most of my nerdy activities (card games, LARPing, the occasional D&D session) happen on the weekends when everyone else is drinking and partying. As such, I miss these activities and still have great weekends.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Not strange. If they don’t understand why you don’t like going to clubs and drinking then that’s not your problem. I don’t like clubs because i don’t like the whole sleazy pickup scene. Also when there’s large groups of people drinking the potential for violence rises exponentially. People in clubs often bring weapons too. It’s a bad scene.

Myndecho's avatar

Yes my family would call me shy, my friends not so much. I would agree with what you said about them thinking they’re bringing me out of my shell, I wouldn’t mind going out a few times with my friends just for the novelty, I don’t mind going to clubs and pub but I don’t think it’s fun.
I had to Google D&D (Oh ok) and LARPing

Lightlyseared's avatar

No. If everybody was the same it would be a very dull place.

Lupin's avatar

I’m with you. I hated it. It seemed like all BS to me. The constant yelling to be heard made my throat hurt. Girls expecting to have drinks bought for them – but don’t want to be thought of as being “bought”. Loud drunks saying things they should not have said and regretting it the next day. Friends confessing to things I don’t want to know about. And finally I have to drive the jerks home because I’m the sober one.
Fortunately I’ve been done with that for a long time. Thank God!

KatawaGrey's avatar

@Lupin: At a birthday party on campus, I was the only sober one so I was the designated cake-cutter and candle lighter. We all had a good laugh about it over cake. :)

MrItty's avatar

Not strange at all. I’m the same way. If I’m meeting a friend at a bar (which happens very rarely), I’ll often bring my book with me so I can read until they get there. And I think I’ve gone to a club maybe twice, ever.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’m not big on clubs or most bars, either. It’s OK not to like those places. It’s not strange. The next time you’re asked to go to someplace like that, have a counteroffer ready so that it’s understood that while you want to spend time with your rellies and pallies, there’s other places to socialize that you would prefer. Once in a while they should go where you’d like to go, too.

Lupin's avatar

@KatawaGrey Careful. Once they figure they can trust you, your’e on the road to alwys being the desgnated driver. Then they REALLY get stupid!
I also have a pet peeve with the loudest drinker saying “We’ll split it.” I had one or two cokes and that jerk had 3 zombies, 3 shots and a beer chaser. I am not a cheapskate but I don’t want to “split it”. I’ll do it but will never make the same mistake twice with that person.
Thanks for reminding me why I didn’t like to go. I think I’ll go kiss my wife now!

Allie's avatar

I don’t think it’s strange that you don’t want to go. Some people just aren’t into going to clubs and that’s fine. I don’t like going to clubs either, but I don’t mind going to a bar with some friends. I don’t think it’s weird that they invite you either. They’re your friends – they want to hang out with you and include you in their activities. Whether you accept or not is completely up to you.

cwilbur's avatar

I don’t like going to bars as an end in itself. I have friends who just head to a particular bar to see who’s there and to hang out, and that’s not me. I will go with a group of friends to a bar, and I’ll even go to a bar alone if there’s good live music.

SuperMouse's avatar

It doesn’t sound strange to me. There are plenty of other things to do in this world! I don’t drink and I have noticed that when I am around people who do, they have this need to have me drink. I’m not sure why that is, but it has been a long time since I’ve taken a drink and they still keep asking.

hearkat's avatar

I rarely drink anymore, and even when I did drink more frequently, I wasn’t fond of clubs. I was always a wallflower, and have worked hard these past 10 years to be a little more outgoing. In fact, a new acquaintance said that maybe I should now describe myself as a sociable introvert!

I don’t care for crowds or club music, and I’m still way too self-conscious to get on the dance floor. But I do enjoy live music, and like to go hear local artists. Since I’ve started pursuing a social life again, I find that I tolerate clubs so much better now that there’s no smoking allowed! I’ve also made a pair of musicians earplugs to soften the sound to safer levels, and I can hear conversation easier.

I don’t need to drink to enjoy myself, sometimes I’ll have one drink at the start of the evening, then switch to water. My son is about to turn 18, and although it isn’t legal yet, most of his friends drink. My son doesn’t drink because there is a long history of alcoholism and addiction on his father’s side of the family. Most of his friends are respectful of that, and my son has no problem saying “no”. But he still goes to parties and hangs out. There’s no rule that everyone must drink when alcohol is available.

You shouldn’t feel pressured to go if you truly don’t like it; but if you can make modification or accomodations for the aspects that bother you, you might be able to join them and enjoy yourself!

fireside's avatar

I’m the same way. Maybe find other places to go out and be sociable then invite your friends and family there. That would give them the opportunity to spend time with you, which is probably what they are actually suggesting.

augustlan's avatar

I didn’t drink for about 20 years. I had no problem with going to a neighborhood bar or corner pub type of place and just drinking soda while hanging out with my friends, but I never could stand clubs. If it’s too noisy to have a conversation, I’m not interested (unless we are going specifically to see a band).

justwannaknow's avatar

Nothing wrong with you my friend. If you don’t like that sort of thing, Tell them! Find something you like to do and continually ask them to go with you. It can be as simple as going to the park, going fishing or even sitting on the street corner and watching the hookers (kidding LOL). Eventually they will either stop bothering you or start doing what YOU want to do. Stay strong.

Supacase's avatar

I don’t think you are strange at all. You are who you are. How about going to a regular restaurant for drinks (non-alcoholic if you like) and some appetizers if you don’t like the club/bar scene? It is a reasonable alternative and they’ll go for it if they want to spend time with you. They can go clubbing afterward and you can go find a more enjoyable way to spend the rest of your evening.

Jack79's avatar

@Myndecho I also hate it, especially since I had to work in such places for several years (and of course drinking becomes part of the job description). I generally don’t drink anymore, to the point where my dad (who makes his own wine) is practically forcing me.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

Clubs are garbage to me. I’d rather hike a mountain and have a picnic than destroy my ear drums and my liver simultaneously. Perhaps that’s just you and me. xD

(lies, all lies.. sometimes I enjoy the club.)

rooeytoo's avatar

If you do not get drunk yourself, being around other drunks is not an enlightening place to be. It seems that the drunker you get the deafer you get so everyone yells instead of talking, stupid stuff suddenly becomes hilariously funny. Self perceived intelligence levels soar, so everyone there has the answers to the problems of the world and on and on.

Now do I think it is strange that you don’t enjoy this, nope not at all!

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

It doesn’t sound strange to me, most people who are my IRL friends and family don’t like going out to clubs or pubs (bars) and alcohol is mostly a “with dinner only” thing for them.

fedupwitcaddys's avatar

no. everyones different….... you’re like me, i dont ride band wagons.besides i dont see NOTHING wrong with NOT BLENDING IN!

3or4monsters's avatar

Perhaps they are only keep offering because they like and enjoy your company, so think nothing of inviting you constantly? :) Be flattered and continue to decline, I guess. Life is too short to do something you do not enjoy in your free time.

Noon's avatar

I don’t think it’s weird at all. I happen to live in the Castro district of San Francisco, and even in the state that this economy is in with stores closing left and right, new clubs and bars are popping up and remodeling everywhere. I happen to have my own issues with the gay community’s relationship with alcohol, so the reason I don’t go to bars is not just because I don’t like the atmosphere. Unfortunately it does cut my social time in half with most of my friends. I’m lucky that they also enjoy the occasional board/card game night, but they know now to not ask me out to the bars (that happen to be blocks away from my house ;-)

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