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Ranimi23's avatar

If a guy is asking a girl out once and got answer "I will think about it", should he ask her again?

Asked by Ranimi23 (1917points) May 3rd, 2009

I asked her out only once, she said “I will think about it” and after that never talked with me on that issue, only flirting with me and give me pet names all the time from that point until today. I know she broke up with her boyfriend (4 years) and it is only 3–4 month after that, but she never told me that, I heard it from other people who knows her. What should I do?

I don’t like the idea of asking her again because I have my standards and I think I really worth her effort if she really wants to date with a great guy like me. Please help me to decide what to do, because I am thinking on forgetting about her and moving on with my life :(

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29 Answers

asmonet's avatar

I’d give it a week or so and ask one more time, if she blows you off again…

Shut up and move on.

Lightlyseared's avatar

If you don’t think she is worth asking out twice then I’d move on, she obviously isn’t for you.

charliecompany34's avatar

she’s a flirt. move on to the next one who will take you seriously.

Amoebic's avatar

Depends on when the sequence of events occurred. Also depends on how she said it.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

I’m married to a girl that once told me that. That was eleven long years ago.

Triiiple's avatar

Dont give up! If you really like her i say go 110% or nothing. Dont leave shit to regret later.

chyna's avatar

You have asked 3 different versions of this question which tells me you want us to tell you to ask her out again. Ask her! If she doesn’t give you an answer this time, move on.

knitfroggy's avatar

You best ask her again-she said she’d think about it…she’s probably thought about it and waiting on you to ask for her answer! Your best bet would be to quit asking Fluther and ask her!

seekingwolf's avatar

Ask her out one last time. she never said “no”, so give her one last chance.

If she doesn’t give a definite answer, then she’s just a tart and you need to move on.

justwannaknow's avatar

What have you got to lose? Ask her again there may be other things in her life that were pressing at the time. If she does not give you a positive answer soon she may have issues you do not want to deal with.

filmfann's avatar

I first met my wife on a subway train. I told her she was very beautiful, and she said thank you, and looked away.
I saw her in a bar 2 years later. I didn’t realize it was her. I asked her if she was happy with her current bf, and she said she was (she obviously wasn’t).
I met her again at a friends house 6 months later, and she practically threw herself at me. We’ve been married 25 years in August.

LuckVIII's avatar

wait a week. Then think of something fun to go out and ask her “hey do you want to go out to _____” if she’s into you she will say yes or shell suggest something on her own. If she said she think about it it usually means either she’s a tease or she’s not sure about you.

jessicar's avatar

I would defiantly say ask her again but you need to give it a least a week. Also if she says yes and you start going out please be careful and dont rush the relationship, take it slow. If she is coming off a long term relationship you dont want to end up being the rebound guy. I had this happen to me I had just ended a long term relationship and starting dating another guy right away which then turned into an engagement. All of that was within 3 mths then within a mth later it was like a switch was flipped and I no longer had feelings for him. I’m not trying to scare you but just want to make sure you go into this with open eyes. Good Luck

flameboi's avatar

nope there are lots of girls out there, you don’t have to waste your time waiting for one to “think about it” who is she, Eva Green????

cak's avatar

previous question addressing this

We’ve addressed this, before. She’s probably not interested, she’s just wanting the attention. Move on, find someone worth your time.

sakura's avatar

I reckon you should maybe ask her to go somewhere specific, a more concrete time, date, place etc… rather than just asking her out.
If she blows you off she isn’t interested or too busy playing games (ask yourself do you want to be with someone like that?)

I certainly wouldn’t keep asking twice is enough!

ru2bz46's avatar

Years ago, I was thinking about how to ask my (then) girlfriend to marry me. Not long later, on the drive to a friend’s wedding, I came up with the idea to send her out on the floor for the bouquet toss. If she caught it, I would go out to meet her and pop the question.

Well, she caught it. When I asked her, she said, “Hmmm…I’ll think about it…” I was crushed and spent the next couple days wondering how to proceed with life with a dead-end relationship to handle.

After a few days, she asked me if I was serious about what I’d asked her the other day. I told her not to worry about it. It turned out, she thought I’d had too much to drink that night (I had two glasses of wine), so she didn’t want to get all mixed up from a drunken binge. Anyway, she said, “Yes”, finally, and we were (are) married almost eleven years. (OK, so now we’re separated, but it’s still a relevant story.)

bright_eyes00's avatar

If you dont think she’s worth the wait then dont wait. If she is then broach the subject again but not bluntly like “well? will you go out with me or not??” Maybe try talking to her about it like “Hey, i was wondering if you’ve thought about what i asked you at all.” If she plays dumb and doesnt remember your question. “about us? going out?” something subtle and not too intense. some guys when in your situation kind of push it a little too hard. if she says that she will think about it again then move on. she’s just toying with you at that point and no one deserves that kind of treatment.

i’ve been dealing with something like this for several months now. the guy is aware that i want to date him and he seems to really like me. he tells me he likes me and he wouldnt spend as much time with me as he does if he didnt enjoy my company. he’s that kind of person that doesnt feel the need to pretend that he cares for someone if he doesnt. well i’ve talked to him about us and he’s said “i’m not sure right now” so i just keep waiting. everyone tells me i’m stupid but i’m in kind of in love with this guy so i cant help but keep waiting. i think he’s worth the wait and i know without a shadow of a doubt that he is. thats what you need to decide. is she REALLY worth the games and head f***?

hope that helps you at all. i’m sorry you’re having a hard time with it

fedupwitcaddys's avatar

no. cause apperantly if she says she’ll think about it, that means shes unsure, and if she thinks about it im sure she’ll get back at you, so dont look too THIRSTY by asking her again. if she doesnt get back at you she means NO and she’s just being nice and doesnt wanna hurt cha feelings.

good luck.

ram201pa's avatar

Absolutely NO.

libbinogurl's avatar

If she really liked you, she would say staight up, Yes.

tanay2035's avatar

20 Signs You Found True Love

The chemistry between a man and woman can be either good chemistry or bad chemistry. Many of us, through lots of experience know what it feels like to be in a relationship where the chemistry can be very strong, but it is destructive on an individuals level and as acouple. Relationships founded on this chemistry are often riddled with pain, guilt, fear and any number of thoughts and feelings that are energy depleting and can quickly spiral to obsessions and depression.

What about good chemistry, what does it feel and look like, and how do you know the chemistry between the two of you is good? How do you know you are with the right person?

1. You feel very comfortable with one another, as if you have known each other longer than you actually have.

2. You tend to agree with one another on most issues, and there is a feeling of warm familiarity surrounding your personal belief systems, values, philosophies and life goals.

3. You instinctively consider each other as equals and no one person does more sacrificing to be with the other.

4. You are very much involved in one another’s daily affairs and conversations between the two of you are generally mentally stimulating and lively.

5. You joke around with each other a lot, and your relationship is spontaneous and light, adding a happy and friendly boost to your interactions.

6. You nurture each other with specialized attention, mutual appreciation, acceptance, admiration and playfulness; these keep the romance alive.

7. You enjoy spending plenty of quite time together in homely surroundings giving true meaning to the words feeling “at home” with one another.

8. Open communication is alive and thriving, making it possible to be yourselves with one another.

9. There is a shared feeling of growth and support of one another and both of you give each other room to grow as a self-directed independent individual.

10. You are more able than most couples to remain objective about your relationship and to work through problems that most couples find very difficult to deal with.

11. You are warm, gracious, compassionate and flexible with one another, and tend to expect the best from one another.

12. You easily forgive each other when things go wrong and trusting one another keeps you closer.

13. You are quite protective (not possessive or controlling) of one another and of the privacy of your romantic lives. Others see you as a positively bonded and caring couple.

14. There is no fear of losing the other and commitment to each other and dedication to your relationship are important for your sense of security as a couple.

15. There is an earthy sensuality to your relationship and the sexual chemistry between you is so apparent it’s almost tangible.

16. Expressing yourselves emotionally and sexually comes naturally and without inhibitions. Feeling secure with one another puts you in the “mood” for intimacy and strengthens your affections for one another.

17. Together you are able to take big risks knowing that you will always have reach other and can always count on each other.

18. There is a whole lot of positive energy generated between the two of you, and together, you are enthusiastic about life itself.

19. The longer you’re with each other, the stronger your relationship becomes.

20. The relationship is so life-changing that you know without a doubt in your heart that if it were to end, you will take something from it. You feel that you are somehow a different and better person.

Hopefully this information will put your heart and mind to rest. But if it causes you to feel “uneasy” then you need to really look at who you are with. You can be honest with yourself and face the pain that comes with the realization that you may not be with the right person for you, or you can ignore it now and later regret why knowing what you know you still pursued a relationship that was not good for you. The beauty of all this is that you have the power over what you choose to do!

CMaz's avatar

I would say, forget about her. And, if she takes too much time to say yes. Your answer should be, “I’ll think about it.”

jackfright's avatar


Girls will usually say yes immediately, or offer an alternative on the spot;
i.e. “no, i’m really sorry. i’ve got something on tonight, are you free tomorrow night?”

“i’ll think about it” means “no.” and it’s a pretty arrogant as well. forget this girl.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

If she was into you, you’d know it by now. Girls will do whatever they can to make sure you know she wants you. If you haven’t heard anything by now, I would stop holding your breath. You’re gonna turn blue in the face before she gives you the answer you want.

stardust's avatar

You sound like a decent guy – I’ll think about it doesn’t cut it.
If you can’t get her out of your head, ask her. If you can, move on.

AnnieB's avatar

Don’t ask her out again, ask her if she’s done thinking about it. If she’s still thinking about it, her answer is no…she’s just not got the backbone to tell you so….

deadhead's avatar

If a girl says“I’ll think about it” I would not think about her again.unless their were other circumstances you did not know about.Including a death or health problems not aware of.Always give another chance to another human being.

choreplay's avatar

Generally the rule is three strikes before your out, and this is what most dignified men use. No telling what she means by that. Maybe she is stalling to see options (in this case she’s not for you) or she could just be playing a little hard to get and wants to know if you like her enough to pursue her. I would use the three strikes rule and than move on.

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