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FGS's avatar

Have you ever dealt with an extended long distance relationship? How did you cope?

Asked by FGS (1932points) May 4th, 2009

We are finding it challenging (to say the least)...the time apart is crushing. I am looking for ways to make the time go by until we can be together.

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9 Answers

ccbatx's avatar

When you sign on for something that hard, and that enduring, it seems almost impossible to live each day. Every minute passes by, stretching on like an hour. You just have to remember that if you trully love that person, and if they trully love you, it’ll make everything that much more sweeter when you see each other, when you hold each other for the first time in however long. It can be really hard. I mean, REALLY hard, and I’m sure it is, but you have to look forward to the moment when you see each other again. Think about that moment and replay over and over again in your head. Remember that even though time may not be going by fast now, your life flys before your eyes before—what do you know?—it’s over. That means that you guys will see each other sooner rather than later. All you can do is comfort yourself with the past experiences and think about how great the future will come to be.

I know no one has money these days, and people can’t afford to be loosely spending, but I’ve known people who will just go somewhere or visit someone on a whim, buying plane tickets the moment they feel like going somewhere and just doing it. That’s not to say that it’s logical in these economic times, but it’s a small treat. If you can’t go to where they are, then you’ll just have to wait it out until the sweet end of the wait, the union of you two meeting again (yes, I know I’m corny).

It will be better, I assure you. Meanwhile, while you live in limbo, just try and email as much as possible, talk on the phone, text, IM, whatever and however it is possible, keep in touch. Too many relationships that could have been great fell apart due to lack of contact or distance. Please just remember though that if you really, really, REALLY love this person, and vice versa, then it will work out, and all of this seperation and distance will seem like a bad dream. Everything is going to be alright. Hope everything works out.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I’m not sure if I could do what you are unless I could visit with the other at least once a month and then there would have to be a future agreed goal of being together. I once waited 6 months to meet an interest in person and time went by quickly for me with text, e-mail, phone calls, picture exchanges, music exchanges.

hug_of_war's avatar

It’s a little easier now, since hopefully soon we’ll be ending the distance, so just knowing the end is near helps to deal with it.

But regardless of the when, I like thinking of how far we’ve made it against the odds. Look at where we used to be, look at where we are now. When I think about how wonderful he is, I can’t be sad, no matter how many miles separate us.

bright_eyes00's avatar

i think the key is to be trusting and to have faith in your relationship. if you lose that then it will never work. thats why me and my ex didnt last. he couldn’t put his trust that i wasnt cheating on him and eventually he left me becuase he felt like i didnt love him anymore. i never gave him reason to doubt me and i never doubted his commitment. a long distance relationship will do one of two things. it will either end quickly after a long painful attempt at saving it or it will make your relationship and love so strong nothing could ever come between you.

good luck

jlm11f's avatar

I don’t have much advice to give except for: If you don’t already, Skype daily w/ webcam. Seriously. That should make the emotional part of the relationship a lot easier. Skype is a free online voice chat software and it connects people from all over the world. I use it to speak to my grandparents weekly and even though we are continents apart, I still am very close to them. If you don’t have a webcam, buy one, it’s a minor investment for a relationship that matters.

qashqai's avatar

My extended long distance relationship crashed miserably two months ago, so I am not entitled to give any kind of advice at all. Good luck, I wish the best for you both.

Triiiple's avatar

Drop out now before you get hurt.

lukiarobecheck's avatar

@FSG, I know exactly where you are coming from. Being in a lot of long distance relationships myself, and having them never work out. I vowed that I would never be in another long distance relationship again. Yet, here I am three and a half months in to one. When I type that out 3 1/2 months seem like such a short time, but I am starting to forget what it was like living in the same city as her. Sad, I know.

We had been dating a little over a year when she moved to Fort Worth. She got a job as a teacher. I am still trying to find a job in that area. With the economy as it is, finding a job is a very tough thing to do. It is all hard. Finding a job, and balancing a long distance relationship. All the while I still have work to do here in Austin. It is only a three hour drive, so it is not that bad. But, it still sucks.

Communication is the key to being happy apart for the time being. I have had problems getting used to the constant phone conversations, especially since we are not used to spending an hour plus on the phone. But things are coming around, and we are making it work. She is the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and as soon as I get a job in Fort Worth, I will be up there with her. Knowing that you two will be together in the end is the best feeling out of the whole thing. But it takes a lot to get there.

Best of luck, because we all need it.

Krag's avatar

It doesn’t work!! I was in one and it’s hard.Weekends driving there or her coming here.Talking on the phone you can’t get the comfort of being together. I wouldn’t wish iot on anyone

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