General Question

sandystrachan's avatar

Would you ever meet someone from the internet ?

Asked by sandystrachan (4407points) May 5th, 2009

( This is not something i am about to do , or have every planned on doing)
There are a few people i have started to talk with using Within minutes they want to come “meet up ” , so playing along have made arrangements to meet ( i sure as hell wont be there ) . Bare in mind i am a complete stranger and could be an axe murderer ( i am not i tend to use hammers lol ) what would make people want to” meet me ” or anyone else for that matter ? Would you , have you , do you know of anyone who as done this and for what reason would they do it ?

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43 Answers

laureth's avatar

I married someone from the Internet.

On the other hand, he wasn’t just some weirdo that wanted to meet me after five minutes in a chat room. He was a friend of a real-life friend that I’d known about for a year or two before actually meeting.

That said, yes, I have made many wonderful friends on the ‘Net that I wouldn’t hesitate to meet in person, and have travelled many miles to do so. There are many nuts out there, but there are many nuts off of the Internet, too, and sometimes they’re the same people. Just like anywhere else, caveat emptor.

knitfroggy's avatar

I’ve met lots of people from the Internet. Years ago I used to chat in a chatroom for people around my area. I would meet people in public places and only people I’d talked to for a long time. I didn’t actually meet my husband online, but I met his brother that way. A bunch of people from the chatroom were going to a bar and I showed up and met my now husband, he’d tagged along with his brother.

kayysamm's avatar

My best friend I actually met through the internet. He lives one state over and we met when he came down to the shore for summer. He walked up to me on the boardwalk tryign to like hit on me but the first thing he said was ‘holyshit it’s you!’ Ever since then we have been the best of friends. Going 4 years strong. And I will gladly say I’m glad I met him.

cookieman's avatar

Sure. I’d love to meet some fellow Flutherites in real life someday.

asmonet's avatar

Why are you stringing these people along? How hard is it to say, I’d rather not meet?

Jack79's avatar

I would, and I have, and just like any other meeting, you take your chances. Would you ever pick up someone in a bar? What are the chances of that someone being an axe murderer? Same in any other place.

Sensational TV likes to make a big deal out of that internet pervert who met an innocent woman through a chat site and then raped and killed her, but fact is that 90% of all murders are committed by mothers towards their own children (so much for the armed black guy in an alley myth), and a further 9% by other members of the family of the victim. So if you want to be really safe, stay away from your parents.

So far people I have met through the internet did include a real weirdo (though not dangerous), 2 wonderful girls (but nothing happened), one that was really fat and hadn’t told me, and 2 that actually became my girlfriends, as well as very good friends after it was over. I have also met other people (including men) non-romantically, and even though one was a little annoying, it was overall a pleasant experience with mostly decent, normal people.

willbrawn's avatar

I met my wife on the Internet.

asmonet's avatar

@Jack79: I’d like to know where you got those statistics. Everything else you said I agree with, but those percentages seem very, very wrong.

Triiiple's avatar

Met way to many.

Met one of my best friends in Miami on some MMO.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I met the woman who is now one of my roommates and good friends through the old Soul Coughing chat boards. I’ve met friends through the internet, but not dates.

autumn43's avatar

I just met one of my longtime virtual friends – McBean here on Fluther – in CA last month. I was so excited to finally meet someone face to face. And she is just as sweet as I thought she would be! Really made my vacation out west perfect.

ru2bz46's avatar

I haven’t, but I’m certainly not opposed to it. I’ve talked to a few people I’d like to meet. Maybe someday.

DrBill's avatar

I have met several, and they all turned out good.

If you don’t intend to show up, tell them.

A no-show is just rude.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I look forward to meeting a few people from Fluther that have said they’d like to stop by and see my Halloween display this year. I have no qualms about meeting online folks, its the people in real life I seem to have the most trouble with. People are people, and you are going to get the good with the bad, no matter where you find them.

One of my very best friends in the whole world I met via mail art (this was before the Internet) and although we have never seen each other in person, we are as close as two people can be. I think it all works out to be how long you have known them online or whatever before you meet.

The problem with meeting people online is that we don’t see them as they are, we see them by what we project upon them from our own life experiences. It’s like talking to someone on the phone, then meeting them, and finding out they don’t look anything like you thought. Happens to me all the time.

Facade's avatar

I’m going to marry someone I met on the net. I don’t see anything wrong with meeting up with people if you get a good vibe from them. It’s a case to case thing.

drClaw's avatar

@jack79 I can’t tell if you were joking and if you were then I’m the fool, but your percentages are total bullshit. 90% of all homicide is committed by males. Go to and get the facts.

funky_princess's avatar

NO WAY!!! I would never never never meet anyone over the internet ever. As you have said you could be a axe murderer! And it is so so so true. You never know who you will be meeting. I would in no way advise it and would totally discourage a friend who wanted to do it! Its not safe – end of!

drClaw's avatar

@funky_princess so you’re saying you don’t want to meet up?

Likeradar's avatar

Sure. I’ve met people I met on internet dating sites. It’s just important to do it safely- meet in public, don’t go anywhere alone with them for a while, leave the person’s contact info with a friend, etc.

@funky_princess How is it different than meeting someone you first met at a bar, or at school, or in a store, or whatever? That person could be an axe murderer too.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I have met some very good people I first talked to online, a few of them I consider IRL friends now rather than acquaintances.

cwilbur's avatar

I’ve met people from online multiple times. Overall, it’s been much more good than bad, and the worst situation I’ve been in is realizing that someone’s real persona is nothing like their online persona.

Making plans to meet up and then not showing, though, is just an asshole thing to do.

sandystrachan's avatar

By ” meet me ” i mean they want sex you do know that right ?
Like the first thing they say is i want to come meet you for sex and thats all they ever go on about .

kenmc's avatar

I’ve met my girl online. Totally by accident, even. We’ve been together 3 times (it will be 4 in 15 days) and it’s worked out great.

She didn’t happen to be an axe murderer and neither did I, so… tada!

ubersiren's avatar

Sure… I met my husband online.

cwilbur's avatar

@sandystrachan: So say “I’m not interested in sex with strangers.” It’s really asinine to make plans to meet someone when you know you’re not going to follow through.

jlm11f's avatar

I met lefteh and delirium for lunch. lefteh brought his blackberry-esque phone that delivered politics updates every five minutes and delirium brought her art book. Though to be fair, she was considering bringing her snake.
I brought the axe.

VS's avatar

I have met several people irl that I met on-line first. Cindy and delightful husband Yuri, will be coming back for the third time to see my husband and I while they travel from Indiana to Georgia. I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing them each time and this time, I plan to pack a nice picnic and take them to the zoo and botanical gardens weekend after next.
Not all meetings with internet friends have turned out so well. But I think like anything else, you have to apply good sense to the situation. Even the first time I met Cindy, I took my husband with me and we met in a public restaurant for lunch. The best rules for meeting anyone from the internet should include the following:
1-meet only if YOU feel comfortable and want to
2-meet in a public place and take someone with you or let someone know what you are doing and who you are meeting
3-be cautious about sharing more than minimal information about yourself to anyone on first meeting
I just don’t believe that everyone who wants to meet people from the internet have evil intentions. But like in life, some do, so use some common sense.

Likeradar's avatar

@sandystrachan I don’t think everyone who wants to meet in person wants sex. They may be on the site to make plain ol’ friends and connections.

But let’s assume everyone who contacts you just wants to get some lovin’. How is it more acceptable to say yes and stand them up than just say no thank you?

Jack79's avatar

The stats I have come from a criminologist, I could not get your URL to work Dr.Claw, it’s possible however that we have different numbers referring to some different stat. Point is, crimes are generally committed by internet dates.

I promise to check my facts and either provide exact data or apologise for the mistake.

jlm11f's avatar

@Jack79 – “Point is, crimes are generally committed by internet dates.”

I am sorry, what? Can you clarify and provide some source? I know you said you will check your facts but I still don’t see how you derived that point.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

i’d meet someone if i had been speaking to them for long enough, and had reason to trust them.

Zaku's avatar

OMG meet one of those weird Internet people! I would never have anything in common with them and that would be like scary and weird and uncool and embarrassing and I’d probably get raped and killed.

hearkat's avatar

I have met several of my friends from iRovr (an iPhone social network) and I have dated a few men I’ve met on online dating sites. Of course, I had interacted with these people numerous times before meeting, so I had a good sense of their character prior to agreeing to meet.

There are many wonderful Fluther brothers and sisters here in the NJ/Philadelphia area, and I’d Lurve to have a Fluther-con (or something like that).

I have also joined a few social groups I found on based on my interests (e.g. hiking, volunteering, women’s social groups, etc.). Those groups usually meet in public places. Some will host events in private homes, but typically will not allow non-members to see that information, and will require that new members have attended at least one public event prior to going to a private one (at the host’s discretion).

However, I have not signed up for any of the social networks that tag your location and share it with others. That is too great an invasion of my privacy. So in the scenario you posed, my answer is No – I would not meet up in person with any random people I only just met via the web.

ru2bz46's avatar

@Zaku So, are you calling me a weird Internet person?

YARNLADY's avatar

I’ve met dozens of people I knew online, in person. Not a single one of them has been in any way dangerous. My son met his wife online. I have arranged dozens of meet-up events for people who know eachother online, and never had a single bad incident. I am currently considering a meet-up event for fluther. I love meet-ups.

augustlan's avatar

The only people I ever ‘talk’ to online are Flutherites. There are several I’d like to meet, and one I have made plans to meet, but haven’t met yet.

Jack79's avatar

@PnL sorry typo, that point was the exact opposite. I meant to say “crimes are generally NOT committed by internet dates”.

The controversial stat I gave was that 90% of murders are by the victim’s own mother (not sure if the person who said that may have included abortion into that equation, because 90% seems too high for me too). I did find an official report referring to children, where of course murders are most commonly committed by one of the parent (the one I found said 70% mothers and 30% fathers for 2008, without any child been killed by a stranger). I need to look that up anyway, because I have a personal interest in the issue.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I did once when I was 16 or so, and he took me out to Taco Bell. That sucked. I also ran into an internet acquaintance who knew some of my friends irl at my brother’s college graduation. It was pretty ridiculous that, out of thousands upon thousands of people there, I ran into him. I would probably consider meeting some flutherites as well, if I’d been in touch with them for a long time and we were in the same area. I think I’d have a great time with some of the people I’ve met here, although imagining conversations irl is a little strange at first. I’d still give it a whirl though!

noyesa's avatar

I met the woman I currently live with on the internet, although we didn’t meet through any kind of dating venue. She was a friend of a friend, and we talked for years before finally meeting. I now live with her and she is the love of my life.

Zaku's avatar

@ru2bz46 – No, you are clearly a completely normal Internet beaver.

dadaas's avatar

I have meet many people from internet, with few of them im not real offline and online friend. But be careful you never know whos on other side of line.

autumn43's avatar

Ahuh. Gotcha.

sleepdoc's avatar

I met my wife from online

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