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gaelle231's avatar

The trend to foster career over motherhood 10 or 20 years ago is it reversing now?

Asked by gaelle231 (3points) May 5th, 2009

I am looking for testimonies of women from 20 who decide (or decided) to delay motherhood for the sake of their career. Are you happy with this decision? Do you feel it is changing now?

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6 Answers

squirbel's avatar

Your wording is a bit fuzzy, but I plan to be a mother, career be damned. I have lots of potential to become anything I’d like [medical doctor, architect, researcher, etc.], but my highest goal since I was seven years old was to be a mother. I’ll have plenty of time after motherhood to do something.

Judi's avatar

I love that I am the youngest granny and that I have more energy to play with my grand babies than their exhausted child bearing mothers! I also understand why people would want career first children second. It’s personal preference, but I wouldn’t change anything for the world.

casheroo's avatar

@Judi He’s talking about people unlike us, the ones who chose to have families early ;)

I’m interested in the responses from women who have decided to delay having children. I don’t judge them at all, I find it fascinating the differences in our mind set. I also feel a lot of judgement from women who choose to delay having children. They feel they are better than women who do have children young.
I also feel that they then feel entitled to have children whenever they please, and they are the force behind women having children in their 40s and 50s…which to me is unnatural. Unnatural because they use fertility doctors to help them get pregnant. I feel they want to have their cake and eat it too.

jlm11f's avatar

With the economy in trouble, I would imagine more women choosing career over motherhood as a necessity. So no, the “trend” is not reversing. My question is why can’t you have both? What do you mean by “delay motherhood”? Is there a specific age you must have a baby by and if you don’t it means you are delaying? My understanding is that the optimal time for baby making is when the girl is around 27 years old, but it is fairly safe until 35.

In fact, if a woman can have some financial security before reproducing, and have her kids grow up in a better financial situation, then why not? I know a couple right now who are planning on waiting till both have a steady job and can afford a better living arrangement (they currently live in a one bedroom house). I wouldn’t call that delaying for career per se, I would call that being responsible.

Edit: This is in no way calling judgment on girls that did decide to have kids early. It is merely providing a rationale for those that don’t.

Supacase's avatar

I think the big trend to foster career first was because women (in general) wanted the ability to have that choice just as much as men did. For a while, women felt pressure to do that since it was a hard fought battle. Now some women are realizing that being at home with the kids is where they really want to be and are choosing that option even if it does seem outdated by society’s standards. The point was for women to have a choice and now they do.

Personally, I had my child at age 31. I would have preferred my late 20s, but I hadn’t met my husband by then and he was a key player. ;)

gaelle231's avatar

@ PnL
“delay motherhood” means: because you want to advance in your career, you decide to wait a bit to have children while you want to have them.
You’re there, you are ready to be a mother, but you think “oh no, not now. My company will soon open position X I want to apply for” or “I’m going to wait until age X to climb to this top position and I’ll have kids after that”.
@ all
I feel my younger girlfriends (10 years my junior) are less worried with having a career than my girlfriend and I were a the same age.
I see more more young pregnant women around 20 in the streets. And I don’t think it is because I didn’t pay attention when I was younger. I really feel there are more pregnant women in their early 20s.

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