General Question

punkrockworld's avatar

Is it true that when you give up on a guy and never call him anymore he will come back running?

Asked by punkrockworld (960points) May 10th, 2009

Here’s the story..
I have been dating a guy for about 4 months on and off. I can’t deal with his way of living.. never answering my calls or just never answer texts until 5 hours later. So i broke up with him but I can’t deny that I miss him. Now he’s been texting me but I haven’t replied cuz i don’t want to make myself too available. What do I do?

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19 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

probably true with some people
but take my advice: can it with the mind games asap, your relationships will benefit from it

gailcalled's avatar

Forget him. Find new people and new interests. You can do much better.

What do you miss about him that would make you consider punishing yourself again?

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

People want what they cannot have.

Disc2021's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir – I agree, mind games aren’t cool.

It’s true and false. Sometimes they’ll realize they miss you, other times they’ll just move on as well.

I think you should express your feelings (although something tells me you already have) and tell him that you can’t deal with such an on and off relationship. I would say it’s either things get a little more stable, or it’s going to come to an end sooner than later.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I’ve observed when people are genuinely interested, they pick up their calls and answer texts. If they’re more geared to you as a distraction then they will treat you with inconstancy. You can miss the things you like about this person but is it enough to accept how they feel and act towards you?

dynamicduo's avatar

Nothing is 100% true all the time. It depends on your guy and you and your situation.

What do you do? Well, what do you want to do? Where do you want this situation to go? The easiest way to resolve the situation is to communicate, which is a bit impossible if you avoid all his phone calls etc. It seems like you both are willing to give the relationship a second chance, so learn from what happened beforehand and have a discussion where you express your needs and listen to his responses. If the only issue in your relationship was his lack of communication, and if you make this clear to him and he agrees to try and communicate more with you, why not give the relationship another chance?

This is what mature people do in relationships when they have problems, they calm down and communicate to resolve the situation. It’s much better than playing hard to get or playing any other silly game, because it doesn’t waste time, it doesn’t create drama, and it resolves the problem in one way or another.

bellabella's avatar

Give him a second chance.

jackfright's avatar

you keep talking about him.
what about what you want from this?

do you still want to actually be with him?
answer him if it’s a yes or ignore him if it’s a no.

but do make up your mind.
it’ll save you both time.

AstroChuck's avatar

Yas, its truw.

aprilsimnel's avatar

First, think about what @jackfright said: What do you want?

When you’ve got that sorted, then follow @dynamicduo‘s advice and tell him what you want from a relationship with him. If he’s not keen to work it out with you where you’re both satisfied, then tell him good-bye and get on with your life.

Lothloriengaladriel's avatar

It may be true but it’s also true then men don’t like dramatics

Jeruba's avatar

Forget simple generalizations like that. There is probably no one statement (other than the certainty of death and taxes) that is going to be true for all people. But it sounds like you don’t want to get mixed up with this guy again. Even if it’s kind of fun (sometimes) to be pursued, you’re unavailable. Let it go at that.

punkrockworld's avatar

I like him, I really do.. I’m just not sure to what his intensions are.

Sariperana's avatar

Move on! If a guy is genuinly interested in you – he will call you back and respnd to your texts. I learnt this the hard way and chased a guy for years – he always left me wanting more, i now realise that i wasted my time.
You are worth the effort! Never settle for half arsed attmempts.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

On/off relationships are unhealhty. If it’s not working and you split, once you get back with the person, the same things happen that piss you both off and the cycle continues.

If you’ve been on and off for four months, you’re mostly “off”.

CMaz's avatar

Only if he is horny and has not found someone else.
In your example, he sounds like a player or a douche -bag or both.
Find yourself another guy. You will be surprised how quickly you forget he even exists.

Darwin's avatar

Sometimes it’s true and sometimes it isn’t.

I’ll tell you one thing, though, if his typical response time drives you nuts you need to forget about him and find someone who responds within the limits you find comfortable. He won’t change his way of living and neither will you.

This can only end in tears – Bartok (Anastasia, 1997)

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

nope. Not for me at least… everyone’s different though.

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