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Ranimi23's avatar

How can I help her believe again in pure LOVE?

Asked by Ranimi23 (1917points) May 12th, 2009

I’m going out with this girl that her ex boyfriend really heart her and I don’t know what can I do in order to make her believe in love again. I don’t wont to give up on her because I like her very much, but it is really hard and I don’t know what to do next.

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14 Answers

zephyr826's avatar

How long have you been dating? People are so eager to rush into a committed relationship and love, and sometimes you just need to give it time.

GoPhillies's avatar

Just be yourself if she really likes you then one day it may turn into love. You cant force the word or the emotion. Everyone wants to be loved no matter what happen to them in the past. Just be supportive and nice. It will come in time. The worst thing you can do it rush the word of feeling.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

You need to give love to get love. Also understand that timing is very important.
There are many times that these things don’t work out because the timing diane work out. Such is the case with people fresh out of long term relationships. The guy that comes along right after a girl breaks up is almost doomed to failure. I hope it works out but don’t go to pieces if it doesn’t.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

pardon my periodic typos. My phone’s spellchecker has some interesting interpretations of what I’m actually trying to say

GAMBIT's avatar

Give her time to get to know you and she will realize that you are different then her old boyfriend. She will have to learn to trust you if you are willing to wait it should be worth the effort.

Dog's avatar

I agree with all those who have said TIME.

And wish to add SPACE. Give her space to mourn and grow from her last relationship.
Broken hearts often in the long run teach us valuable lessons and make us grow emotionally.

CMaz's avatar

Belive again in pure love? Did she have that before? Did he hurt her or is that what she is saying? Was this past pure love from that relationship, and if so. Then was it really pure love. “Pure love” is so rare.

mbubbles's avatar

do not pester her. show her that u r pure of heart and that u care about her. in time, she mite come to trust u and believe in love once again.

ccbatx's avatar

Tell her that you’re in it for the long haul. Comfort her. Be there for her. Say that even though things happened in the past, the worst of it is over, and the best is coming. Just say that you’re there, and that everything that happened in the past is in the past.

Disc2021's avatar

You have to be patient and smooth. You have to give her something to fall in love with and give her time to realize that true love does exist.

Patience has it’s extremes though. If she’s too indecisive and reluctant for too long of a time however – don’t keep going all out. After awhile if you show her you’re not going to settle for that – perhaps she’ll pull a little tighter to hang onto you. Otherwise, go out and find someone that does.

If you’re willing and able to love someone unconditionally, then you deserve just the same. Don’t ever tell yourself differently.

lakersfuture's avatar

I think that there are only a small amount of things you can so. The one thing I would do is talk to her about the situation if she is willing to. Let her know that you aren’t that person! I have been through this situation before and my boyfriend knows to that sometimes I get scared because of the past relationships. The truth is that after a while she will start to realize what kind of person you are… The best thing in a relationship you can do is talk and trust without those two things a relationship is pretty much gone… another thing is never walk away from a problem, let her know that no matter what you both will go through together that you will put your ALL into it!!! DO NOT DO THIS OVER THE PHONE OR ONLINE… do this alone where if she gets a little upset she won’t be embarrassed…

Kayak8's avatar

Being a lot like her (badly hurt, not touching the hot stove again) I have to agree with the time and space suggestions. I would also want to see consistency. If you are consistent (regardless of her level of emotional participation), you will show that you really do care and that will count for a lot. But this might mean being consistent for quite a long time. If you aren’t prepared to do that . . . . you’ll end up reinforcing what she already believes.

So I guess I would say either “get out,” or commit to stay in because nothing in between will likely be helpful to either of you.

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