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The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

How do you decide to make a fluther personal message, private or public?

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27 Answers

LocoLuke's avatar

I’d say it’s quite simple. If it’s something personal, such as asking a question that you want a private answer to, then keep it private.

If you don’t mind others seeing it, then make it public.

Just sort of think of private as mailing someone a letter, and public as posting something on the cork board hanging from their door. That’s what I go by

RedPowerLady's avatar

I always do private by default because I don’t know what the person I’m talking to considers private vs. public.

I think this is a great question BTW and have considered asking it myself.

cak's avatar

Generally, all of mine are private. As I read @RedPowerLady‘s comments, my feelings are similar to her feelings about the messages. I don’t know what the other person considers okay for public consumption, so I leave it private.

Knotmyday's avatar

Depends on if I remember to click the “make this a private message” thingie. Not something I stress about, though.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@RedPowerLady: same here unless it’s a welcome to someone I know from elsewhere or a compliment along the lines of GA or GQ

RedPowerLady's avatar

@hungryhungryhortence I’m trying to remember to make sure to do some public comments along those lines. Those are perfect examples of public comments.

RedPowerLady's avatar

Mine is automatically private, maybe you can change your settings?

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I always make them private, just because I like it that way.

lillycoyote's avatar

I make mine private. To me that seems to be the point of the comment, that it is a private communication, instead of a response or exchange you might make on a question/thread. But I’m kind of new around here. That’s just the way I see it.

augustlan's avatar

They are all private by default… you have to uncheck the box to make it public. I almost never remember to make them public, even if it’s a compliment. I manage it occasionally, and if it’s not something the recipient wants viewed, they can always delete it.

arnbev959's avatar

I usually keep mine private. If I think of it I’ll unclick the box if I’m just saying happy 4th of July or something, but I usually don’t even think of it.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@augustlan thanx for the public/private by default clarification

wundayatta's avatar

I leave them all private. I’m not anxious to have everyone know who I’m hitting on this week.

Unless I’m angry, in which case Thursdays are Saturdays. Oops. Wrong question.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@daloon: I’m going to go and check my comments…

wundayatta's avatar

—@hungryhungryhortence—looking at my calendar, I see I’ve got you pencilled in for the week of the 24th. That’s right after I have my next appendectomy (I’m addicted to them). I hope you don’t mind—about the appendectomy, I mean; not the hitting on.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@daloon: I just carved the date into my right bicep :D, see you on The Darkside, sir

wundayatta's avatar

Be there, or be square!

arnbev959's avatar

Oh, daloon.

wundayatta's avatar

Oh petethepothead

swan. I mean, swoon.

YARNLADY's avatar

i don’t decide most of the time. I just forget to click the box, and they are automatic private.

rooeytoo's avatar

I don’t send personal messages, am I missing out on something exciting???

dynamicduo's avatar

If the person sends me a message not private, I usually respond in like. As well, if someone is trolling me/attacking me, I keep my messages public so that others can be warned when they visit that person’s userpage (that is, before it’s deleted cause they’re banned).

That default private must have been changed, I’m pretty sure it was default public the last time I sent a message (admittedly a long time ago).

janbb's avatar

I usually just post in the thread if I want to say something like “GA” aor “GQ”. Most of my comments are private unless they are about something totally innocuous like recipes. I don’t send Comments very often.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

All of mine are private. The box stays checked on all of my messages. I’d be SO out of here if they weren’t!

3or4monsters's avatar

I love private conversations. :) I believe that words are gifts. Privacy is the wrapper.

Knotmyday's avatar

@RedPowerLady and Auggiedoggie – Shit, you’re right. My bad. I only click it on whim anyway.

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