General Question

BBSDTfamily's avatar

Would you help a friend who was doing something you disagree with?

Asked by BBSDTfamily (6824points) May 16th, 2009

Would you offer your friend help while they went through a divorce… if they were the one that had the affair? Would you go along for moral support while your friend has an abortion… if you are pro-life? Basically, do you support your best friends even when they do something you don’t believe in / disagree with? Do you be there til the end no matter what for your friends, or do you draw the line at your own morals?

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14 Answers

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

I’m not going to assist a friend in the commission of a crime.
If a friend cheated on a spouse, I could forgive them for that.
If a friend wanted an abortion, I would respect their wishes and be there for them.

MrGV's avatar

I’ll tell that friend to deal with his own shit and don’t get me involved.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

Great answers so far…

I have 1 best friend that I am there for no matter what. I think people need loving the most when they deserve it the least, and I know if I had done something stupid or was guilty of something, I’d need my friend to be there for me too.

SeventhSense's avatar

I would certainly support someone even if they had erred in my eyes.
I think you can be a support for someone without having to oppose them directly but they may feel you are due to your beliefs.
If someone asks you to lie for them and cover up or participate in an activity you feel is against your convictions then that is different. This is the point that they are not being respectful to you as friend. Outside of the Mafia, this has no relevance to one’s capacity to be a loyal and good friend. One has to be their own person.

I also don’t think it is our responsibility to disclose another’s sins.

ragingloli's avatar

if it is not illegal, then i would help him, depending on the amount of personal danger involved for me.

Darwin's avatar

Like the Heretic, I’m not going to assist a friend in the commission of a crime. However, I will not lie for them, either, although I might not disclose information unless asked specifically.

However in any legal albeit complex situation if a friend needs emotional support I would give it.

ru2bz46's avatar

Like others, I won’t help in a crime, or to cover one up.

If they did something I didn’t agree with, I’d forgive them and help them.

If they wanted to do something I didn’t agree with, it would depend on the degree to which it conflicted with my morals and how much good it would do for them. If it would hurt someone else, I would not help. I can bend my morals somewhat to help a friend, but only if it would be doing good in some way.

wildflower's avatar

If a friendship can’t survive difference of opinions, it’s not a very strong friendship.
Whatever a friend is doing, if it’s not offensive enough to break off our friendship all together, I would be there in whatever capacity appropriate – which means I might not participate, but also would not condemn.
I’ve had friends that have done things I would never imagine myself doing and in those cases I’ve made my opinion clear, but still offered to be there to listen – or offer a shoulder to cry on – and help them move on.

Supacase's avatar

Like others, I would not help them do anything wrong or lie for them.

I would be there for them if they were doing something I did not agree with – to a point. Someone who is constantly doing things that hurt others or seems uninterested in trying to get it together stops getting my attention after a while.

For example, I had a friend who continually cheated on her husband. I’m talking something like 17 times (many times before I knew her) and would hide it, then confess, then repeat the behavior. There were other things, too. I finally had to remove myself.

Thebigbaboo's avatar

As long as what your doing to “help” this friend is not breaking laws or hurting other people by proxy, why not.

casheroo's avatar

Yes, I’d hold my friends hand through the hard times. If they needed an abortion, or were going through a divorce that was the result of their cheating. They are my friend, and I don’t judge them for things like that. My role is to support them and let them lean on me.

AtSeDaEsEpPoAoSnA's avatar

As long as it doesn’t involve anything illegal (had my fair share). Then I would help them out, and if other friends were involved; I would be neutral to everyone about the situation at hand. Whoever took it personal would have to deal with it. If that friend who did not condon the help I was giving might be in a particularly bad situation in the future as well. And I would offer my help to them too. We help each other when needed.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

it depends. if it’s moral support for a divorce in which they cheated on their spouse – even though i’m absolutely against cheating – i would help them out. they know they were wrong, and i’m not going to pretend otherwise. but i’ll be there for them regardless.

if, on the other hand, they wanted me to help them participate in a pro-offshore drilling ralley, no.

or one of those protest groups that go to funerals and harass the families with anti-gay nonsense, no. however, i can find no circumstances in which i’d actually be friends with someone like that to begin with.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

Well, I suppose helping a friend dispose of a body is probably not a good idea, but anything else, sure why not? I have friends that are polar opposites to me for various reasons, but they are my friend for a reason, no? If they ask for my help, I’ll do what I can to contribute to their welfare.

I think supporting one’s friends when they need the help is the most noble thing a person can do.

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