General Question

CMaz's avatar

I see fluther as a place to have questions answered by the human collective. Why does everyone's insecurities come out?

Asked by CMaz (26238points) May 18th, 2009

So, my spelling is off, since I tend to do these on the fly. You are not capable of getting the gist of the query? It throws you into a total melt down and you turn into a 3rd grade english teachers? If it is too long to read, move on. So many questions to be answered. I pass over plenty till I find one that connects with me. And, if the grammar is off, the point of the question is still made and I answer it. Everything else is insecurity and a totally good question/post gets clouded by a bunch of prudes.

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45 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

@ChazMaz; Do you have a degree in psychology? And how would you define a “prude”?

And have you read the fluther guidelines? Those might answer some of your concerns.

The site is meant for the fluther and not the human collective, BTW. If I invited you to my house, I’d expect you not to smoke. Otherwise, out you would go.

Oh, I see that you have a monopoly on “what is truth.” Even Socrates was unable to answer that.

Tobotron's avatar

Judging by what you’ve said here and your bio on your profile you have a superiority complex of sorts…or this is just a dry humored joke?

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

There are plenty of times I feel the need to correct someone’s spelling, but I have decided it serves no REAL purpose to do so, so I bite my tongue and let it go. The world won’t end if someone misues the word there when they meant they’re.

For every question I answer, there are probably ten that I ignore, since I have nothing of interest to add. Sometimes, I’ll add a snarky comment like this but I’m just being playful and I hope people can see that.

But yeah, I can sort of see your point. It really just comes down to For every opinion you have, there is going to be someone that has the exact opposite opinion, and isn’t afraid to call you stupid for believing otherwise.

That’s why it doesn’t pay to take the Internet too seriouosly.

GAMBIT's avatar

Because insecurity IS part of the collective.

CMaz's avatar

I define a prude as someone, when I ask directions, feels it is more important to criticize my shoes. And I guess you can say I have a “superiority complex”. To myself. I believe in me and in the end I am the only person I can trust. Sorry if my confidence bothers you. Sorry to correct you. A question is put out for a group of people from across the board to answer. If that is not relying on the human collect what is? One more thing. Inviting me into your house and saying I can’t smoke is your right. Invited into my home and commenting on my lifestyle is prude.

syz's avatar

As always, the question can be pared down to the fact that this is a privately owned and operated site. The owners have made a series of decisions as to the look and feel of the site, presumably what they perceive as being the most useful, pleasant and professional site that they can supply. And as always, if you find that you cannot tolerate those decisions, then you are welcome to look elsewhere.

Personally, I find that if a questioner cannot even be bothered to put enough thought into posting a question that is well written, then why should I take the time and effort to give them a thoughtful and well thought out response?

And how does you being pissed about having your grammar corrected equate to other peoples insecurities?

CMaz's avatar

Never said I was pissed. See, you just proved my point by straying from the question. Seeing it as a personal issue. And, well written is a personal opinion, under this context. This is Fluther. Not the New York Times. Some people have dyslexia , or bang words out with a straw in their mouth. Some people REALLY cant spell. But because of these issues you decide to comment on things they are not interested in having you comment on. So is it not best to just stick to the question? Or unless they have a standard of writing that you find expectable they should go somewhere else? (prude) Your Literary skills should enable you to understand the question, and answer it.

gailcalled's avatar

@ChazMaz: You mean “stickler” and not “prude.” A prude is one who claims to shocked by matters pertaining to sexuality or nudity. He usually doesn’t focus on shoes unless he is a secret shoe fetishist.

Being invited to your house, accepting (doubtful) and then commenting on your lifestyle is not me being prudish but me being rudish and insensitive.

People with dyslexia or using ELS or the very young let us know. We cut them a lot of slack.

I turn into many things but never a third-grade English teachers. Is the “I’m dumb and I’m proud of it” a goal worth striving for?

oratio's avatar

Oh, I wish people would correct my spelling. Otherwise I will do it again.

gailcalled's avatar

@oratio: A+ for that teeny essay.

dynamicduo's avatar

Proper spelling and grammar show a respect for not only the English language, but in communicating easily with others. If you have the ability to do so but choose to not, then yes, some of us take offense to this. If you are not a native English speaker or you have difficulties with spelling, then as long as others know that, we do not take offense to it. A simple tag in your profile would suffice.

Why can’t Fluther be the New York Times of questions? Another community I am a member of has an even higher level of communication requirements, and the level of discussion is indeed rich and controversial at times.

You are free to create your own question asking website where language does not need to be respected. I do not believe you are free to come into this website and be offended at us upholding our own rules, which you are doing now. Coming into our house and mocking our rules is in fact very rude.

Kelly27's avatar

I am not sure that the need some people have to correct others spelling mistakes and grammar is all about insecurity, for some it may be but who can really say why people do it. I can say that I find it annoying sometimes when I go to check out comments on a question I find interesting and the extent of the comments is complaining about spelling and grammar.
It has been implied that this is how the owners want fluther to be be but I have to question that, do they really want links to fluther coming up with useless information about a persons spelling or useful information actually pertaining to the question?
If I was looking for information on a particular topic and a question from fluther popped up in my google search I would not be inclined to ever click a fluther link again if all I got from it was people discussing grammar rather than the topic at hand.

Response moderated
dynamicduo's avatar

@Kelly27 I am not speaking for the site creators, however in my limited experience, it seems they are more focused on making a positive and long lasting Fluther community, not in gaining a huge wake of Googleable question results. That’s a benefit for sure, but there’s no way to stifle out the community culture voice without making the result chain seem strange and disjointed.

@ChazMaz – do you have an actual question, or are you just posting random replies? I don’t have a dog nor would it lick my ass, what’s the point of your comment? You don’t seem to be trying, or care, about fitting into this website much… you don’t have my sympathy.

GAMBIT's avatar

@ChazMaz – I would have to agree with @dynamicduo – nothing can get accomplished if we are just rude to each other. Maybe you can find a question that would be beneficial to you.

CMaz's avatar

Friends, prude is not the right word. Was trying to be subtle. SNOB would be a better word.

CMaz's avatar

Rules? An even higher level of communication requirements? Are you all that hung up on yourselves? A person asks a question. You answer it. That is the criterion of Fluther.

KatawaGrey's avatar

All right, enough watching from the sidelines. I am going to answer the question that you asked.

Everyone’s insecurities come out because the nature of the site encourages discussion. You may not think so, but you are displaying a huge amount of insecurity by responding in a defensive and rude manner. If you don’t like what someone has to say, ignore it or flag it. Personally, I’ve just been having a grand ole time keeping tabs on this question.

I would also like to address the issue of grammar and spelling. there are two reasons why I like people to maintain a certain standard of spelling and grammar and by this I mean the most basic understanding of the English language. Words can be spelled differently and mean different things. Meet does not mean the same thing as meat, board does not mean the same thing as bored etc. Also, bad grammar and spelling are distracting. I stopped by this question because I could not understand what the hell was being asked because the grammar is off. Grammar isn’t important, understanding what is being said is important.

susanc's avatar

@ChazMaz – the “criterion of Fluther” isn’t that simple. It’s a culture as well as a resource.
You feel bad, we’re talking with you about it. That’s a culture. You’re not in charge here, you’re a component like the rest of us.
Communities are supported by agreements. What @KatawaGrey just wrote – “Grammar isn’t important, understanding what is being said is important” – looks like something you agree with. Could you concede her point and come back with some contribution other than anxiety and anger? I think you could. And don’t worry about grammar; we know it’s not something you value. We’re obviously paying attention, trying to make clarity and meaning. Isn’t that good enough?

KatawaGrey's avatar

@susanc: Right on! Lurve to you!

cwilbur's avatar

@ChazMaz: I’ve seen a few threads where you come in, post something that’s demonstrably wrong, and then when people offer citations of actual evidence to the contrary, you become silent.

If you don’t like being corrected on factual matters, you really need to check your facts before posting them, because someone will correct you on them.

If you don’t like having your grammar or spelling corrected, you really need to proofread your questions or answers three or four times, and run them through a spell checker or grammar checker before posting.

That’s just the way things work. If you don’t like being criticized for mistakes, check several times over before you post something.

CMaz's avatar

I feel bad? Anxiety and anger? There you go again. I have been typing with a smile on my face and you keep trying to read between the lines. Actually, there is nothing to concede. You are all answering my question fine and dandy. As far as my grammar goes, it’s value takes me all the way to the bank. I do not come here to impress you with my literary genius. Question asked, question answered. Pretty much what it is about.

CMaz's avatar

I become silent because most of the time I have a life, outside of Fluther. I do not find beating a dead dog advantageous. Well, except in this case. Here… :), :), :-). A few smiley faces so you all don’t feel threatened.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@ChazMaz: Something tells me we’re not the ones who feel threatened here. You’re acting like your back is against the wall and we’ve all got pitchforks and torches.

CMaz's avatar

One more thing, if information I give is wrong. And sometimes the answer is not as simple minded as people tend to want to to be. I do not feel the need to give a, “gee whiz I am sorry.” Someone, actually plenty, has already corrected it to their liking. As far as my grammar being corrected. None of my questions or answers are biased on , “hey how is my spelling?” I will say it again. Question asked, question answered. Pretty much sums up fluther.

CMaz's avatar

Not at all Mr. Spok…

CMaz's avatar

I am enjoying myself. Like I said before. You are all answering the question just fine. Might not be an answer that satisfies you or that you can wrap your head around. But it answered it for me. :-) > There another smiley face.

bythebay's avatar

Yes, @ChazMaz, it appears as though “we are that hung up on ourselves”. The majority of Fluther members like nothing better than to watch an idiot explain why idiocy is to be revered, lauded, and might I even say coveted. In fact, a statement such as this one you made earlier ”“We cut them a lot of slack” Oh, I am sooo sorry. Fluther is a gang? As far as dumb and being proud of it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. No question, rudish and insensitive you are. What is wrong? Dog did not lick your ass today?, well that my friend just makes us down right jealous. I can’t see why anyone wouldn’t want to spout prose such as that. Please, we’re not worthy of your attention. Leave us to our collective misery, have pity on us.

wundayatta's avatar

I know everything. But, do not get confused. I am always learning. You might not like what I say. Most of the time you just can’t handle the truth

I have been typing with a smile on my face and you keep trying to read between the lines.

I am enjoying myself. Like I said before. You are all answering the question just fine. Might not be an answer that satisfies you or that you can wrap your head around. But it answered it for me. :-) > There another smiley face.

@ChazMaz You certainly are the provocateur, aren’t you? Smiling away as you see what kind of reaction you can get. Trying to play as close to the line of being as troll as you can without going over. The attitude you express is not a very friendly one. Then again, anyone expressing superiority without showing any evidence of it is not going to be taken very kindly. If you’re gonna talk the talk, you better be able to walk the walk. Being a provocateur is more like a baby trying to learn how to pull himself to his feet, than like the guy who walks softly, carrying a big stick.

Now, why are people so filled with braggadocio, arrogant, provocative and supercilious? Well, in my experience it’s because they haven’t got much going for them. Well, they could be a person with Asperger’s—those people are often smart, but with very poor social skills. Similarly, it could be a person from another culture, who might feel a little defensive about his communications skills.

Displaying such issues in public just invites retaliation. At least defense. Here’s the weird thing. I was with you at first. I’m in favor of communication and understanding as the priority, and the use of “correct” spelling and grammar is useful only insofar as it aids communication and understanding. If people can understand despite poor spelling and grammar, then fine. Goal accomplished.

If that’s all you had been saying, then I’d be on your side. Unfortunately, you seem to have some kind of chip on your shoulder. I have no idea why, and I’m sure you won’t tell us, and will probably even deny it is there. Still, what did anyone here ever do to you? Is correcting spelling and grammar so bad? I just don’t get it. I’m sure it must be some deficiency on my part, but I’d be ever so grateful, if you, in your superiority, would deign to explain.

gailcalled's avatar

@Chazmaz:And what’s Dr. Spok (sic) got to do with anything?

Writing clearly isn’t the same as being a snob, either. It is a means to get one’s point across or to be understood. However, I am sure that my Rolls Royce has more HP than yours.

And it doesn’t appear to take much to put you into a “total melt-down.”

You may hate what I write, but you can understand my text. No ambiguities in it.

Tobotron's avatar

I’m new to Fluther, my understanding of this site is it is a funky fun site where people can ask questions, I don’t care how there worded/spelt so long as I can understand the question…if you complain too much your segregating social groups eg those that might have a view to offer but are without your demanded high level of literacy.
Are we going to go as far as to criticise the differences between UK and US spellings of words now? Because US spelling are ‘wrong’...

Facebook all graduates students etc…Bebo all teenagers etc…I want to keep Fluther diverse!

tinyfaery's avatar

Annoyed already. Get back to this later.

syz's avatar


Quality control does not equal lack of diversity.

tinyfaery's avatar

@ChazMaz Peeple correkt spelling and grammer because they feel supeeryeor when doing so. They’re is a faction of Flutherers whom lyke to gang-up on others when these tipes of questuns arize.Even when the mispeled word or eror in grammer does not disterb the meening of the scentence. It buggs the shit out of me.

CMaz's avatar

“anyone expressing superiority without showing any evidence of it is not going to be taken very kindly .“Nice thing about superiority, it is what I feel superior about. I am not here to impress you. :-) < another smile.
Wholly cow…. “I was with you at first?” I am not looking for members to my “club”. I will not apologize for my confidence in who I am and how I see the world. I am accountable to myself. And, I like myself. And, I do not need acceptance from you. :-)
What was basically a question of peoples arrogance and insecurity has been answered. But instead of a clear verbal answer I appears it has to be show in its ugliest form. That self expression we all have. No one seemed to be able to give a clear explanation as to why people tend to get sidetracked when a specific question is put before them. Especially when it just so happens to push their button. But, the opportunity to attack an individuals character seems to be an easier mark. Then you all have to look at my profile to get some ammo. Looking down at MY self expression. So shallow and weak you all are. Well some of you. A couple here actually answered the question. With a smile on my face, and good thought in my mind. Loosen up, do any of you have a life? :-) , Another smile.

oratio's avatar

Yanno, this must be the most advanced troll thread I’ve seen to date. I don’t see why you joined a community that you don’t respect and don’t want part of. It kind of defeats the purpose.
If you have a comment to what I’ve written, you’ll have to send a private comment, cause I’ve pressed:
“Stop Following”.

YARNLADY's avatar

I don’t get what is so bad about fluthers helping each other out with spelling as well as answers? Why is it so hard to try to spell correctly as a matter of self-respect and respect of others? And why do you feel a need to find some rude name to call other people who you don’t agree with? Isn’t it just as likely that people aren’t really any of those things, but merely other users, or are you some kind of mind reader?

Plus why wouldn’t prudes (or snobs, for that matter) have just as much right to our opinions as anybody else?

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

You know, I was with you at first, but after reading your responses to the helpful folks here on Fluther, it seems you have trollish tendencies, and are simply looking for a fight. That is last fucking thing we need on Fluther. We already have had enough trolls to make me want to go out and build a trap that will catch and snap their little necks.

wundayatta's avatar

“Nice thing about superiority, it is what I feel superior about. I am not here to impress you.”

Hmmm. Perhaps you should be. ;-)

“I do not need acceptance from you.”

I wasn’t offering you acceptance. I was saying I agreed with your point. Later on, when I saw your attitude, that is when I wasn’t happy about your presence, and your lack of caring about the community. You certainly don’t need acceptance. You can act the way you do, and we can ban you from the site. No biggie. What I don’t understand is why you need to challenge the community and make a nuisance of yourself. We don’t need strife. We need to get along. Your little smiley faces don’t put a lie to your words and attitude.

You are not just your questions. You are also your presentation. If you really were as superior as you claim to be, you’d know that. You’d also know how to spell, and how to make your words as easy as possible for others to understand. This is not about you, per se. It’s about how you communicate. Your current actions indicate that you are not interested in communication. This site is here for communication. It appears that it is not the appropriate site for you.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@gailcalled: He was referring to my avatar, the new Mr. Spock from the movie Star Trek.

CMaz's avatar

“It appears that it is not the appropriate site for you.” That is something you need to look in the mirror and tell yourself. I have not been offended by anything that has been said here. It is nice that we can all be open thinkers. I guess if I do not see it your way or accept your answer I do not belong? That includes my grammar not being up to YOUR standards. And, as is apparent, my superiority is of no consequence to you. Nor do I expect or demand it from you to perceive it in any way. My caring for the community? It is ask a question, give an answer. Freedom of speech and open thought is what makes this site so interesting. Ban me from the site? Now you are just getting petty. Would you like me to sit at the back of the bus too? Or is it 1940’s Germany all over again?

wundayatta's avatar

Oh. I get it. Asking someone to be polite (or at least, not obnoxious) is racist and anti-semitic. Good one! But it ain’t Halloween, so you can save your straw man for when the pumpkins ripen.

CMaz's avatar

I have been very polite. You are the ones taking it too heavy. It is a case of you can give it but you can’t take it?

wundayatta's avatar

Well, what can I do, but bow before your superiority.

Salutations and felicitations, honored sir!

KatawaGrey's avatar

@daloon: Here’s a lifeline. Get off the sinking ship before it goes under.

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