General Question

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

If you were making the rules, what minimum standards of child care would you enact for parents?

Asked by The_Compassionate_Heretic (14596points) May 18th, 2009

What sort of things would have to happen for you to say, “that parent is unfit?”

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

14 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

You can not be incapacitated in any way when taking care of them- don’t be drunk, don’t be high, don’t be on sleeping pills

You can not beat your child

You can not prevent them from getting medical treatment

You can not sexually abuse them

You can not starve them or neglect their needs to be appropriately dressed for the temperature given

You can not lock them up and leave

You can not leave loaded guns in places where they can find them

You can not prevent them from an education

Jude's avatar

Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, mental) , neglect, lack of supervision, child is in an unsafe environment (drugs, violence)...

essieness's avatar

Basically everything @Simone_De_Beauvoir said. GA

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

You can not deny them ice cream… don’t forget that one….

skfinkel's avatar

If I were making the rules, I would make sure that parents understood child development, the importance of the early years, had parent education courses and in the earliest years of a child’s life, a visitor into the home to help out. What I would want to do is less punish parents than help them be great parents. Children love their parents no matter what, and it is far better to help the parents be better than taking away children who then have to go through that additional trauma.

That being said, if there are parents that are in any way abusive and don’t seem to get it, I would make sure that when they were with a child, someone else was there to make sure nothing bad happened to the child. And hopefully, the parent could learn and change. That might take lots of work, but that would be the direction I would like to go in.

SuperMouse's avatar

I’m with Simone De Beauvoir, but I would like to add:

You cannot deprive your child of touch, it is as essential to life as breathing.

You cannot let your child run rough-shod over you, a child needs boundaries and it is to the parent to set and enforce them.

You must understand that it is impossible to spoil an infant; if that baby is crying it has a need, it is not trying to manipulate you.

I am so 100% with skfinkel, child development classes and parent education courses would be an absolute throughout the child’s infancy, childhood, and adolescence. That is non-negotiable.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@skfinkel I think what you said about understanding the early years is horribly important.
How many mothers have I known that thought it was okay to spank an infant for crying because “they knew better”. Argh.

@SuperMouse You must understand that it is impossible to spoil an infant; if that baby is crying it has a need, it is not trying to manipulate you.

Well said! A perfect example of why early child development education is necessary.

ubersiren's avatar

To be a fit parent, you should love your child unconditionally, and for pete’s sake tell him that you do. Be a role model. Physically or emotionally abusing any child is completely unacceptable. Make him feel safe. Do your very best, which means, if you find yourself struggling to be an appropriate role model or unable to give the child love before your own vice, then hand the child to a temporary caregiver. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD. Give your child free range to learn and explore, but you can’t be neglectful. Teach your child to be respectful to his fellow man and planet. Encourage him to be his best without pushing him past his limits. Live every day as a nurturer. Be involved, but not overbearing or overprotective. Show him the world, don’t shield him from it. Don’t point out differences between gender, race, sexual orientation, etc.- he will find out for himself. If he has questions about them later, do your best to answer objectively. Don’t have children at all if you can’t afford them. Don’t have children at all if you have abusive tendencies. Do not have children at all if you have a serious addiction. Do not have children at all if you watch The Hills or For the Love of Ray J.

That last one was a joke- we all have our guilty pleasures :)

YARNLADY's avatar

The only people who should have children are those who have a complete understanding of what is required to raise a child for the first 18 years, and perhaps beyond, and who are unselfishly ready to devote the time for it.

DarkScribe's avatar

Whatever antisocial or criminal act your child engages in whilst still a minor you will share punishment for.

augustlan's avatar

In addition to the many fine answers already given, I’d add:

You may not allow your child to be abused by someone else, either.

justus2's avatar

I am going to add an answer not already given yet, people who forget what it is like to be children shouldn’t have them, they have needs too and I love this quote ” A childs problems may not be big to us now but they are to them”, and we need to be understanding with them and love them and care for them no matter what. Also don’t be selfish and treat them like people, not objects and listen to them and try to be more like their friend, and be great role models. Also one more thing, lead by example, if you don’t want your kids doing something don’t do it yourself, if you don’t want them to drink then don’t drink, if you don’t want them to have sex then don’t have sex, don’t hide anything and be open, if you hide things and they find out about it they will just wonder what the big deal is and want to do it more.

Kraken's avatar

No child left behind with college tuition bills:

No exceptions!!!
Uncle Sam will have to pick up the tab if your kid isn’t wealthy. No student loans to ruin your (18+ year old) child’s credit rating…..everrrrrrrr! I stand exceedingly firm here.

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