General Question

Lothloriengaladriel's avatar

Do you feel men prefer a woman who is more submissive or dominant?

Asked by Lothloriengaladriel (1550points) May 19th, 2009 from iPhone

I feel I am more submissive. What about you? Opinions?

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25 Answers

chyna's avatar

How about one that is his equal?

Lothloriengaladriel's avatar

@chyna although that seems ideal, I don’t believe that’s ever completely true

MrItty's avatar

Just like some women are submissive and some are dominant and some are equals in bed, some men prerfer submissive women, some prefer dominant women, and some prefer equals in bed. Every man is different, just like every woman is different.

jackfright's avatar

i generally prefer to find a woman that is as equal as possible.

with most of my relationships, i go for more dominant women (this isn’t to say im the submissive one) because they can stand up to me. softer women often cant take me, and i get bored of them.

that said, if ever we were in a tricky or difficult situation, i will expect my girl to listen to me and not tolerate any backtalk. my ex was the ideal balance, she’s normally quite dominant on the daily basis but if it involved big decisions she would defer to me.

Jack79's avatar

It doesn’t really matter. It is not a criterion for me either way, even though I know what you mean in the question.

For me the most important thing is the love. A woman who loves me can be dominating, but she’ll take care of me. Or she can be my slave and do whatever I want out of love. A woman who doesn’t, will be either a dictator or a pathetic little doormat. Though usually love does make you a bit submissive, or at least more tender towards the other person.

The best relationships are the ones where there is a balance, where both people love and especially respect one another and try to fulfill their partner’s needs. And both are happy.

DarkScribe's avatar

Yes and no, or maybe something altogether different. Why would you suppose that either is an attractive trait? How about a woman who well balanced and caring? One who doesn’t feel any need to be either, one who simply likes to share in her partner’s life?

GAMBIT's avatar

I think each person should be themselves.

knitfroggy's avatar

I think my husband and I each have things we are submissive and dominant about. It’s possible to be both ways. I’m probably a little more dominant though, because I’m bossy. I guess he likes it, he’s been married to me for 10 years…or else he’s just scared to go anywhere! :)

Supacase's avatar

It totally depends on the guy. Some want someone who won’t cause waves or that they will always go along with what he wants.

Other guys like a girl who isn’t afraid to stand up to him and give what she gets. Not in a bad way; someone who can match up to him in verbal banter or debates, speak her mind, make her own decisions and is confident.

I guess some guys like a truly dominant woman and that must work for some people. I would probably think he was boring or a wimp I could push around and get bored quickly.

covedude's avatar

It all depend on the indavidual.. And notheing is that black and white because both of those could be a good thing or a bad depending on how you take it

covedude's avatar

And the circumstances behind them

CMaz's avatar

A “submissive” woman does not necessarily mean subservient. I have found submissive women a pleasure to be with as long as you respect and understand what they are actually doing for you.
The different responsibilities that the “man” and the “woman” do have has become blurred. Men have a responsibility that a man is designed for. That also goes for a woman, her design to create life is an amazing responsibility. We all would not be here without a Mother. And, as much as what a father might bring to the table. (basically a sperm donation) The woman will always be there and will have a connection with the child that no man can encompass.
I do not want to be sexist when saying this (part of the problem) but… The man keeps the woman safe so she can stand my her man and care for the future of our race. Hopefully, the man will honor and respect all that she does to allow him to go out in the world and well, be a man.

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

I prefer a woman who is independent and can run her own life. I don’t mind her being submissive in some situations though ;).

tinyfaery's avatar

Most men I have been with said they appreciated the fact that I did not abide by the idea of male privilege. They liked that I challenged them and told them what I wanted. Having said that, I ended-up with a woman because I was tired of the power struggles. Also, one man I was with ended-up marrying a woman who is very much the little woman.

wundayatta's avatar

Both. Depending on circumstances. Change roles. Play with it. Change as appropriate. We don’t live in a binary world, and this question forces us to pretend the world is that way. Also, I can’t generalize for men.

Just sort of curious. Are you planning to present yourself in one way or the other for some guy?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Lothloriengaladriel it is not impossible to find an equal
you should expect it

casheroo's avatar

I do not identify myself with submissive or dominant. I feel I am a combination of both, depending on the situation. My husband doesn’t have a preference.

jackfright's avatar

@supacase your second paragraph describes my perfect woman.

hug_of_war's avatar

With my boyfriend, I feel most of the time we’re equal, but in certain situations I take on a dominant role and he’s submissive or vice versa. Because we’re so comfortable with each other it’s a non-issue for us.

whatthefluther's avatar

In day-to-day life I prefer an equal. In bed, I prefer alternating roles…and often…very often! See ya…wtf

tiffyandthewall's avatar

it depends on the situation and the guy.

you can’t just lump all guys into one category and expect one answer on their preferences as a whole.

also, if you think that a guy who wants an equal is not realistic, you are probably not hanging around guys worth your time.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I’m not submissive or dominant. I feel that I’ve struck a balance. At times I’m extremely opinionated and won’t hide how I feel, other times I’m more quiet and want to be cuddled. In sexual situations it’s fun to be both or just mix and match in general, but I am a little more submissive than dominant in bed.

Jude's avatar

Lesbian chiming in here. When it comes to sex, I tend to be the more dominant one and the women that I’m with prefer that. Now, it’s not always like that within a relationship – sometimes they like to be the ‘top”, but, most of the time it’s me.

When it comes to our relationship (day to day sort of thing, outside of the beaudoire), we’re equal.

Johno666's avatar

@DrasticDreamer has a GA. For me it really depends on the person. Some women want to be dominated while with others, I can feel totally at ease playing the role of the submissive guy. Again the bedroom can bring about a new dynamic altogether in relation to the roles we play in our partnerships. Different environment / different role.

Hisbrwnidgrl's avatar

I adore being a submissive woman. I have had to be a man and a woman for many years. (that is a single parent). I have to say I hated this role with a passion and feel my children have felt the loss for it. I have a wonderful Dominate boyfriend that I adore. Why because he honors me and respects me as well as protects me. He does not abuse my submission. I feel loved, protected, secure and I don’t have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I would not every want to go back to having to be both again. I work for myself and have a life of my own. But i’d rather just take care of him and make him happy. It seems to work for us.

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