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beccalynnx's avatar

Move out at 18, and have a happy life?

Asked by beccalynnx (459points) May 19th, 2009

my dad wants proof of people that did infact, move out of their parents’ home at 18, provide for themselves, and then end up having a life they were happy with.
he’s concerned for me, and i do honestly love him and trust him, but he’s concerned i won’t ever finish college and that i’ll become a junkie cleaning toilets for extra money, unhappy with my carrer. i am an artists, i make money and enjoy doing it very much. i’ve already found a few music artists, and a couple of sculptors, but it’s be cool to find, i don’t know, like a few political or business people? any inspiring people you can think of, any stories you like?

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18 Answers

nikipedia's avatar

I moved out when I was 17 and at 24 I’m a year into getting a PhD in behavioral neuroscience. Tell your dad it was the best decision I ever made.

DarkScribe's avatar

When I was that age all kids moved out. That was back in the late sixties, early seventies. I joined the Navy, traveled around the world. By twenty-one I had a commission and and a degree. Most of my friends moved into shares houses and started living their own lives, either at Uni or bumming around the world. We were all surfers in those days. Whenever I had shore leave I’d spend it with them on one of Northern beaches – surfing during the day and arguing about life, the universe and everything, in cafes at night. I couldn’t imagine staying at home at that age.

Dansedescygnes's avatar

Wait, are you moving out to go to college? Because that’s what almost everyone I know is doing. Hell, my birthday is so late that I’ll be 17 when I move out.

But you said “providing for yourself”? Does that including going to college or is that not what you’re going to do?

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

The two have little to do with each other.

Move out go to school, get a job. If you make well thought out decisions when times get rough you’ll be doing well.

Judi's avatar

My friend was kicked out at 14 and lived out of garbage cans. He is now a millionaire plumber and his family all tries to borrow money from him.

DarkScribe's avatar

@Judi I think I know him. Wasn’t he on Sesame Street?

Judi's avatar

No, this guys name is Ed (LOL)

bythebay's avatar

Out at 17;
moved across the country, alone, to go to college;
finished college;
enjoyed a very successful career for many years;
“retired” to have children;
now consult & sit professionally and as a volunteer on several corporate & charitable boards.

Moving out and standing on my own two feet was one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. You never truly know what you can do until you try.

justwannaknow's avatar

I joined the Army at 17 and never looked back. I loved my parents very much but once I was out I was never going back. That is like climbing the ladder of success and then going back down.

Likeradar's avatar

My boy moved out at 17, lived some fun crazy years, and is now a successful and happy code writer. (and not artistic in the least.)

Darwin's avatar

My father moved out at 16 so he could attend high school in the US. By 17 he was in the US Navy on a ship in the South Pacific. However, he went on to complete his degree, and then get a PhD followed by a job at a large company. He retired at 61 as a senior vice president and then became a college professor, a government consultant, and the founder of a professional society. At 80 he retired again and is now publishing peer-reviewed papers in cosmology (not his original field).

I moved out at 18 to go to college. My parents supported me during college by giving me a lump sum every August to cover the entire year. It was up to me to budget so that I could pay tuition, afford a place to live, buy food and books, and keep my car running. I always cut a few corners financially and ended up getting Certificates of Deposit every July with the leftover bits. Eventually, those CDs allowed me to buy a house. After I retired from my real job, I started working for myself online.

My ex-boyfriend started his first official business when he was 12, harvesting palm seeds and selling them to nurseries for $30 a flat. He moved out when he was 18 to attend university on a scholarship combined with his savings from his various business ventures. He was offered a full scholarship to get an MBA also but instead invented several more businesses. By the age of 27 he owned a live-aboard 37-foot sailboat free and clear and was on business number five.

A coworker of mine (when I had a “real” job) moved out at 14 and got a job as day labor, married at 15, got a job with the city at 18, and should be retiring with a pension sometime this next year. He and his wife produced seven children, four of whom have gone to college. The only thing I question was his decision to name all three of his sons Albert after himself, a rather George Foreman kind of thing to do.

It is certainly acceptable to move out of your parents’ house at 18, and in these days quite commendable to never move back in. Quite a few people make good careers after moving out, but it helps to have specific goals and a plan to reach them.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

ah your dad is just financially conscious, and knows you probably don’t have much experience with that stuff. Its easy to get buried quick if you are not careful money wise. Living on your own is really tough to do at first, and people make so many mistakes when they first start out. He probably doesn’t want you running up your debt and then getting side tracked from school which is oh so easy to do especially if you are ambitious. Anyways thats my guess, if my kid was moving out thats the kind of stuff I would be worrying about. I don’t know how many times i over drew my account, lived off of ramen noodles for weeks and had to have student loans bail me out. anyways if you showed him how you can work all the money out and be okay that way, he would probably feel a lot better about you wanting to move out. And if you can’t find a way to make it work out, then maybe you should listen to your dad a little bit more. He probably sees what you want to do long term, and what you want to do short term and sees all the ways you can go wrong easily. But anyways, there are tons of people who are successful no matter when they moved out. It might help if you could give him examples of people you know personally or he knows personally. (besides how many people end up with the life they imagined when they were 17) but most people are happy with the success they found despite what its in.

casheroo's avatar

Uh, why does he think you’ll become a junkie?

amoreno06's avatar

@DarkScribe wow…sounds like a good life. i think i was born in the wrong decade…

amoreno06's avatar

ugh…reading these stories is depressing for me…
i’m 21 and barely moving out.
moving out to the city to go to college, pay for it myself and pay for rent while going to college???
for me anyways.
but look out chicago, here i come.

TehKrazyOne's avatar

Well, my “mother” was really cruel to me when i was a kid. She first kicked me out when i was only 11 years old, but where the hell would an 11 year old child go? So then i got kicked out again the day after i turned 15. I stayed with a friend for a few months, she got me back cuz of “legal issues” and here i am, 18, she kept me in the house, taking my paycheck, married to my stepdad when i was only 2 (she’s a gold digger…), and i finally had the guts to say “piss off, i want to live my own life, go get your own” and here i am now, living happily with my husband :) If you don’t want to live on your own, consult with your father to keep you a while longer. Maybe you can pay rent to him?

moelicious's avatar

If your dad is so concerned with how you’ll be, have him do what my parents do… they make me pay rent and they keep it in an account so when I decide to move out I’ll have some money to fall back on.

vkessx3's avatar

I am 17 years old and in a month from today EXACTLY, ill be 18. I live in New York and my boyfriend lives in Arizona. I told my mother a few months ago that me and my boyfriend have been talking about me moving out there after I graduate high school and starting my life out there. My boyfriend is very mature, responsible, goal-orientated guy and can support himself and even help me get on my feet. I’m not just saying this because he’s my boyfriend but he is exactly what I would want my daughter (If I had one) to end up with. He is just finishing up flight school also and he will be able to work as a pilot. Me on the other hand, will be taking my Certified Nursing Assistant test in the middle of June. I did the research and I see that I would have to transfer my certificate to a Arizona state, I may have to retake a test or so but I dont mind. Im not exactly sure yet because I have yet to call the nursing boards. I will continue school in Arizona starting not this fall, but the next one because I would like to get my residency so college would be cheaper since I i would be most likely getting a loan of some sort. Anyway, As you can see I have direction and I believe me when I tell you, I am very mature for my age. My boyfriend is also the kind of guy who would bring me forward not drag me down or hold me back. Him and I both have are very concrete about me going to college and having a full time job while im out of school.

- BUT MY PARENTS, are going absolutely insane. Since right now it is EXTREMELY hard to find a job in New York (Even Part-Time) my dad knows im depending on him for the moment. So he is trying to prevent me from talking to my boyfriend by shutting of my phone service and he might also take my laptop away..even though my boyfriend bought it for me and i paid him back half the amount he paid, so technically we went 50/50 on it.
– I dont see myself doing anything wrong because im just trying to pursue my dream and be with the one I love. I know im going far but this is what iv always wanted. They know I never wanted anything more then to start my life and thats all im trying to do. My dad is going to take it to extremes and he said that Im not going to be able to come back knocking on his door, and he will cut me from health insurance and all that. Im not so worried about that because once I get a full time job, I will have benefits and once my CNA gets transferred ill be able to work at a nursing home or hospital and they may even be able to pay for a portion of my college education, which is great.

ALSO, my dad says my boyfriend is disrespectful because he didnt talk to him about it. MEANWHILE, my boyfriend lives in AZ, he came up here last month and on his own he went downstairs asked my dad to go to the city with us and my father declined. Which he was going to then talk to him about our plans. Until I move out, my mom is going to try and guilt trip me and my dad is going to make my life hell.

But I need to get on my own two feet. :|

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