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Bobbilynn's avatar

What should I do with my 13 yr old son who got suspended for planning a fight for video?

Asked by Bobbilynn (565points) May 20th, 2009 from iPhone

“Body Shots” it’s called two boys agree to fight for 30 seconds while other friends tape it with their phones, in the bathroom at school! My son Is 5’9 270lbs! Thank god they have rules, same size, and if someone starts bleeding they quit!

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22 Answers

Kenyan's avatar

Fighting is wrong but atleast theytook the time to make rules and everything

Darwin's avatar

Make sure his suspension isn’t more fun than going to school. That way he won’t be encouraged to get suspended again.

A bit tougher is trying to explain to him why what he was doing is wrong or at least extremely unwise, but that is what you have to do.

DarkScribe's avatar

You have a 270lb thirteen year old? Or is this a troll? At that weight he wouldn’t be able to fight, so I guess that he was just the promoter.

No, this has to be a troll, brand new account and all.

Darwin's avatar

@DarkScribe – I have a 202 pound 13 yo, and my daughter went to school with a young man who was 6’ 4” and 250 pounds in the sixth grade (so he would have been age 12).

Some 13 year olds are bigger than others, much bigger.

_bob's avatar

Channel his energy.

asmonet's avatar

Manual labor.

And I mean HARD work.

Kick his ass into the ground building a fence, cleaning gutters, mowing lawns, cleaning bathrooms and kitchens with a toothbrush, detail your car, make him clear out the attic, clean the garage. Write an essay a day for you explaining his actions, reasoning, behavior and his plans to change. If he blows it off, he does it again. All day until he gets it and you accept the work. I had plenty of people telling me what I did wrong, it did nothing. Having me analyze myself and my actions was far more challenging to my reasoning.

Basically, this kids job was to go to school and learn to be responsible and accountable.

He fucked up.

His new job is to do every menial task you can think of – which if he continues on this path of unruly behavior and poor judgment is what he will be doing in the future.

Make it as unpleasant as you possibly can. You want to make him GLAD he’s going back to school and make him hate the idea of being suspended. Which as a kid, seems like a treat.

Some of those things, I learned after being arrested as a young teenager, they leave an impression without being damaging, reactionary or wasting anyone’s time.

jackfright's avatar

give the guy a chance. no one’s perfect, but i think @bob is right, just channel his energy into something more productive. punishment without understanding (on his part) may just stroke his rebellious streak.

i’ve been suspended when i was in school, but it really felt more like blackmail on the headmaster’s behalf. i was given the choice of suspension and becoming a prefect and teachers assistant afterwards or expulsion. i’ve hated authority ever since.

Loried2008's avatar

Spank him. Make his suspension heck on earth.

Jeruba's avatar

My money’s on Asmonet for this one, for the voice of experience and for compassionate authenticity.

Loried2008's avatar

I take it back asmonet’s is MUCH better :)

Ivan's avatar

To further what @asmonet said, you should then have him work in coal mines, buy slaves. oppress women, and a bunch of other archaic and arbitrary activities.

asmonet's avatar

Right, because all that was arbitrary. It has a reason. To show him his future earning and lifestyle potential. And to force him to confront his own actions and decisions and actively face the consequences. He does not accept the role of school or the reasons for rules and punishment never mind the benefit of them. All of those consequences directly relate to his choices.

Loried2008's avatar

hard work does open a kid’s mind. You let um get away with it it may get worse.

RedPowerLady's avatar

Another prop for @asmonet suggestion. I do not agree that you should purposely make it unpleasant in so much as being mean. But I do believe he should be doing labor. Hard labor. And always have a job to do however menial. Of course doing hard work for a good end is much better. Such as building a fence for yourself or a neighbor. Or volunteering all day at the soup kitchen (and tell them that he gets to clean the bathrooms when he is done handing out soup).

Of course before you inact this punishment you explain why his behavior was wrong.
Fighting at school is not appropriate for many reasons. If you need help articulating those I’m sure we can help out.

SeventhSense's avatar

I would second asmonet’s suggestion and of course videotape the whole thing. :)
and put him on a diet

MacBean's avatar

@DarkScribe: At first when you said “Or is this a troll?” I thought you were talking about the kid because of his size.

_bob's avatar

@MacBean Um, you mean he wasn’t?

augustlan's avatar

@MacBean lol4rl

Asmonet is right on the money. She’s not that far away from her teen years, either, so she really knows what she’s talking about. I like @RedPowerLady‘s added suggestion of making some of that hard labor volunteer work to benefit others.

Buttonstc's avatar

and while you’re at it deprive him of his phone for a long enough period of time so that he will realize it’s primary purpose is as a PHONE and that’s how you expect it to be used since you (presumably) are the one paying for it.

If for some reason you deem it necessary that he have it for safety reasons or something then drop him back to a model without a camera. He will survive quite well without it.

Kayla654321's avatar

Has he seen the movie “Fight Club” before? If he has, I think you should keep him away from violent movies which may seem to influence him. If he hasn’t then….I agree with manual labor. =D

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