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IBERnineD's avatar

Have you ever experienced someone who immediately thinks you are an idiot?

Asked by IBERnineD (7289points) May 22nd, 2009

Someone I never met just spoke to me like I was two years old, I was so caught off guard I didn’t know what to say. Has anyone else encountered this or do I just give off the stupid/naive vibe?

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49 Answers

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I think everyone encounters that at some point in life. There are just certain people out there who are so narcissistic that they believe they’re superior than everyone else, thus they talk to others as if, well, they were two.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I’ve encountered people like this before and I’ve come away from the experience believing that I’m probably the better person than they are because I’m not the type to immediately assume or think anything about anyone until I get to know them better.

Buttonstc's avatar

Being underestimated by someone else actually gives you the advantage over them.

It happens to me from time to time as I’m on the chubby side (not horrendously obese or anything but definitely zaftig) and some people just automatically equate that with stupid. That’s their problem.

A close friend of mine who was raised in the South has told me of similar encounters where some people, upon hearing a Southern accent, automatically subtract IQ points.

I would far rather be underestimated than the reverse. I know who I am and they can continue to live in judgmental ignorance——no skin off my nose.

Like was previously mentioned, I much prefer to get to know someone by their words and deeds rather than outward appearance. You end up with many delightful surprises along the way.

oratio's avatar

Sure. Or more like disapproving who I am. I have a Stockholm-accent, and that is not always appreciated. You get treated differently sometimes where I live now. I get treated different because of my gender like I guess most do. Sometimes women put me on ice and at distance just because I am a guy. I am not sure why. I guess to show that they are not interested, even though I show no interest.

I love southern accents.

zephyr826's avatar

I direct the musicals at the high school where I teach, and I overheard the flautist on opening night call me a flake. I was shocked. I’d never met her officially, and it seemed so bizarre for her just to assume that i was flighty because I was running around taking care of the thousand things high school students need before they put on a play.

justwannaknow's avatar

Just on fluther. and I can prove them right.

DragonFace's avatar

It happens to me a lot but with people that are much older than me. They like to talk down to me but i just wait my turn then spit that fire back at ‘em.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

Happens from time to time, and I’m not sure what to take from it, except that maybe I really am an idiot and no one has the heart to tell me.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Oh yes, it definitely happens. People assume that I’m ‘just a mother’ with kids and nothing else on my mind. They don’t expect an education that I have behind me, they don’t expect the amount of travel I have behind me and how well I can actually function when necessary

Judi's avatar

Usually THEIR the biggest idiots ever.

Darwin's avatar

It happens in most ARD meetings. That is why I have a lawyer who specializes in Special Education matters.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@Judi, not to make you look like an ‘idiot’, but the word should be ‘THEY’RE’

IBERnineD's avatar

Okay good I’m not the only one. I think people assume I’m not as smart as they, because I am still in college and I tend to be a very happy go lucky person.
Oh and I love ALL accents :)

cookieman's avatar

@IBERnineD: We know you’re not an idiot.

Does that count?

IBERnineD's avatar

@cprevite yes that does count! That’s why I felt comfortable asking the question on here! I knew none of you would think that…or at least I hope not :)

justwannaknow's avatar

IBERnineD:You are an idiot. I should know because it takes one to know one. (LOL) Kidding, just being a pain in the a#.

IBERnineD's avatar

@justwannaknow from one idiot to another, Thanks! :P

justwannaknow's avatar

Have a great day!

CMaz's avatar

How can anyone get a first impression that you are an idiot? You are VERY pretty!
Ok, wait? What was the question? ;-)

casheroo's avatar

My new boss talks to everyone that works for her like that. It’s this condescending tone that makes me want to scream. Nothing I can do about it.
But yes, I have experienced it. haha

El_Cadejo's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra i thought that was the joke?

wundayatta's avatar

Yeah, but they tend to be people who are exemplars of road rage. Last night, I was waiting at a corner for a bicyclist to pass me, so I could turn. The guy behind me honked, and startled me. I guess he wanted me to run over the bicyclist. Then I turned the corner, and I drove slowly because I’m trying to improve gas mileage, and I know the lights on this street are set for 20 mph. The guy races past me (going in the opposing lane), then stops, and waits for me so he can yell at the top of his lungs, “Fuck you!!!!!”

Obviously, he thought I was an idiot, and a jerk, and an asshole. (Of course, we all know the last is true… lol… or at least an ass).

Clair's avatar

This happens. You just have to shrug it off and wait til the perfect moment to show them that youre einstein and theyre special ed.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

I get it from younger people. I think it’s the gray hair. My manager says it’s because I’m two steps ahead, and once they catch up, they think differently.

casheroo's avatar

@daloon That sounds like every Philadelphian driver. And I always stick to the 20 MPH rule as well.

Judi's avatar

@evelyns_Pet_Zebra; geez! I gave you a GA. I’ve been on my iPhone and little things get fixed wrong. I’ve had a crappy day that gives me a laugh albeit a pathetic one. Par for my day.

RedPowerLady's avatar

You know what this does happen to me and it really urks me When it happens I can never figure out what prompted it. But I assume it is more a personality trait or life circumstances of the “other” person and has nothing to do with me. I do not enjoy being talked down to. You know who does it often? Telephone Customer Services Agents. But of course it happens in “real life” all too often as well. You know I find that typically people only do this when there is going to be a short encounter.

Of course I love the previous answer that stated you can use this in your advantage ;)

gooch's avatar

Yes I have a heavy Cajun accent. People usually associate that with ignorance.

oratio's avatar

Do you speak cajun?

IBERnineD's avatar

I LOVE Cajun accents!!!
Can you send me a recording of just you talking?? :)

Judi's avatar

In person people always treated me like I was stupid when I was 90lbs over weight. It ticks me off how much more respect I get now that I’m thin.

Clair's avatar

This happened to me a few min ago. He totally disregarded me and belittled me because im younger than him. Well fuck him.

Bluefreedom's avatar

@Clair. Kick his ass just for good measure. I’ll help you.

gooch's avatar

Mais ya y’all yes I speak Cajun French. It is French. From the 1500’s that has English and American Indian words mixed in. Imagine Shakespeare era English but french being spoken today with a mix of two other languages and local slangs all mixed in.

oratio's avatar

@gooch Wonderful, and @RedPowerLady is Lakota-Cheyenne(not a communist). Fluther is great.

cak's avatar

I had a temp job, that turned into a full-time job. I knew that the person I worked directly with didn’t want to hire me, someone else paved the way for me. She explained a task to me, very slowly – like I had to be the dumbest person on the planet and then gave me a time period, and set a timer. (very condescending!) After she finished explaining it, I simply looked at her and held up a file and said, “You mean this? I finished it this morning, before you got here. She just snarled. About an hour later, the timer dinged. heh!

tiffyandthewall's avatar

i wouldn’t doubt it.

SeventhSense's avatar

@daloon
Eh…Passive Agressive are we?
And anyone in LA or NY who drives 20 mph anywhere is dragged from their car and set on fire…
It’s perfectly legal too. It’s the asshole clause :)

azusenal's avatar

Yes. When someone is speaking to me and I am not familiar with the topic, I don’t have a problem asking them to explain. I find that to be braver than to pretend I know what they’re talking about just to save face. I feel that when someone responds in a short, condescending manner, they’re obviously having a bad day. Something on their mind has taken over their manners and they have forgotten for the moment their is a real person in front of them who has nothing to do with their problems.

wundayatta's avatar

@SeventhSense I don’t think so. What’s the point of speeding up and stopping. Speeding up and stopping? I’m just lazy. If I can go a steady 20 mph and not have to stop for a light, I’m cool. It had nothing to do with that idiot. Who was, no doubt, quite uneducated and selfish, not to mention antisocial. ;-)

SeventhSense's avatar

@daloon
Dude(I know your favorite word) you know as well as I do that someone who drives 20 miles per hour is being a nudge. It’s like the people who drive in the left lane on the highway and refuse to yield to faster traffic trying to pass them.

wundayatta's avatar

Seriously, @SeventhSense, not in this case. It’s just plain stupid to speed up and stop and wait. Speed up and stop and wait. People have no patience any more. Believe me, when the roads are open, I’m flying at top speed. The only time I’m willing to speed up and wait is when I don’t know the roads and light patterns, or when I’m really upset about something, or I’m late. I know it’s stupid, but sometimes I can’t help myself.

That’s probably what was going on with this asshole. He was late for something and I just happened to be a convenient object for his wrath. I mean, for God’s sake, honking at me because I didn’t run over a bicyclist? Yup. Asshole, class 1!

SeventhSense's avatar

@daloon
People have no patience any more.
And I guess someone has to teach them patience?
Just let ‘em pass.
If I had a dollar for everytime I’ve seen someone blocking traffic in the left hand lane I’d be a rich man. In Europe they’ll give you a ticket for not yielding to faster traffic. If you want to leisurely drive that’s cool but some people have places to get to.
P.S- You know you’re Passive Agressive(as opposed to me who’s just plain agressive)
For God’s sake you’ve been mooning Fluther for as long as I’ve been here. :P

wundayatta's avatar

Well, @SeventhSense, if that was you acting that way, feel free to speed around and stop. There’s a stop light every block, and they are timed to let you go only two blocks at a time, if you speed up. If you stay slow, you don’t have to stop the whole way along.

It’s you aggressive types what are ruining the earth for the rest of us. I hope my passive resistance will keep you from ruining the earth at quite as high a rate of speed. God, I hope gas prices go back up!

SeventhSense's avatar

I’m ruining the earth? As a fully integrated human being I beg to differ.
Passive aggression is not passive resistance, but rather repressed anger. It’s about not taking responsibility for one’s own aggression, shadow dark side etc. but just projecting it onto others. Usually as a result of an imbalanced sense of self as being too nice for such pedestrian emotions.

wundayatta's avatar

Wow! That sounds really like it is deep, but I sure didn’t understand it.

Darwin's avatar

If you suffer from pedestrian emotions does that mean you have to walk everywhere?

SeventhSense's avatar

@daloon
And there it is again….

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