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veronasgirl's avatar

Do you consider yourself a self confident person?

Asked by veronasgirl (1760points) May 25th, 2009

Why do you think you are self confident or not? Do you find there are times in your life when your confidence is really low? If that has happened to you, why was your confidence so low? Was it influenced by a specific event?
Can you recognize a confident person when you see them? How can you tell they are?

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21 Answers

MrGV's avatar

Yep I sure do. My confidence has always been high even at times when things seems impossible. A confident person stands high and will never back down from any task.

dynamicduo's avatar

I do. A few years ago I stopped caring about most everyone else’s opinion and as a result I am much more confident in my actions and thoughts. This isn’t to say I wasn’t confident to begin with, I am indeed a confident person by nature (first born child, a project leader, etc), but when I stopped caring it was the last thing holding me back from being truly 100% self confident.

That said, there are indeed times when my confidence wavers, though rarely when I am actively faced with a task. I get a bit introspective and reflective about my life and this can cause me to become paralyzed with thoughts about the uncertainty of the future or the direction I am walking. I am usually able to shake myself out of this paralysis within an hour, a few days at the most. It’s still disconcerting.

A lot of confidence comes through in body languages. I know a person is self confident when they give me (a girl) a firm handshake, look me in the eye while talking, have an open body language (no crossed arms, no looking down or away), have passion in areas of their discussions. A lot of it comes through in the language and phrasing they use (if they talk about how much their life sucks versus talking about a recent thing they completed).

justwannaknow's avatar

I have always considered myself a confident person. Maybe even overly confident at times.

hearkat's avatar

My level of confidence depends on the setting. In childhood and adolescence, I had no confidence. I was abused, and had no self-esteem. I have worked hard for many years to develop some confidence. I my career capacity, I feel most confident not only in my abilities, but also in knowing that I am helping others, so that gave me a boost in my sense of self-worth.

In relationships and social situations I still have confidence issues. But as I’ve met more people over my 43 years, I’ve learned that we all have self doubt, and that usually the people that come off as very confident (or even arrogant) are often the most insecure.

A therapist of mine once advised me to “fake it ‘til you make it.” Behave as though you do have confidence… walk with your head high, be the first to approach someone and introduce yourself, look poeople in the eye when you speak, speak distinctly and reduce the “ummm” and “ya know” and other interjections that indicate lack of confidence.

Acting confident even when you don’t feel that way gives you practice and helps you develop new habits. And as you acheive success in you endeavors, you become more confident! I does work. (Don’t dwell on the times you slip-up, though. Forgive yourself for being human).

Good luck!

cak's avatar

I’m a fairly confident person. I do have moments where I am not as strong and not as self-assured; however, I don’t shrink away from those situations. I’ve learned that just making yourself appear confident, regardless of how you feel, can really trick you into being more confident. I’ve gone from painfully shy and not willing to discuss anything or confront anything to knowing that if I don’t speak up for myself, I lose a bit of self-respect, each time.

jackfright's avatar

i’m generally not confident by nature, except when and if we’re talking or doing something i specialize in. (i am after all a manager, and deal with 50 subordinates) my upside however, is that i adapt quick, and you can drop me in the middle of some messed up country (as i often do for work) and i’ll get along better than most.

my confidence is always lowest when a project im in charge of fails. i judge people based on how well they perform, when i know i haven’t done a good job, that’s when i know i’m responsible for a fuckup. blame this on my belief that a person is only as good as the last thing he/she did.

Blondesjon's avatar

When I realized that the only opinion about me that mattered was mine, I became an extremely confident person.

syz's avatar

I apparently come off as confident to those around me. Internally? Not so much.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I definitely come off as confident to others and am definitely confident when it comes to certain things, like my abilities to do my job, to face pressures, deadlines – I am confident in my ability to read people, to judge a situation. The only aspect of my life that sometimes I’m not confident about is my body and weight gain – I was a dancer for many years and therefore developed an unhealthy idea about what my body should be like, 2 kids later, body’s different and it’s hard sometimes but my partner restores my confidence with regards to that

Dansedescygnes's avatar

I agree with @MrGeneVan, I am very confident and I do have high self-esteem. I’m not arrogant, though. I don’t think I’m better than other people, I just think that I’m a really great person. Sure, there are some things I’m know I’m not great at, but I always try to become better at things that interest me. I have a friend who always thinks he’ll be bad at everything, so he never tries anything new. That’s not the way to go…

Darwin's avatar

When I was young I was not confident at all but quickly learned to seem so from the outside because we moved so often. I was always having to make new friends and confront situations where I was “the new kid.”

They say that with age comes wisdom – I don’t know about that, but it certainly conferred confidence in my case. It helps a lot that I have been there, done that in so many circumstances. However, my kids think I am either over-confident, or over-endowed with chutzpah.

In any case I embarrass them frequently.

Likeradar's avatar

Not really, but I have confidence in my ability to appear confident.

loser's avatar

Not in the least.

Facade's avatar

As far as everyone knows, I’m extremely self-confident.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I am confident in the situations that require it, and not confident when it is not necessary. I often appear nervous until I have completely assessed the situation at hand, but I am confident once I know what I am dealing with.

Clair's avatar

i am very confident. as has been said by many of you, i’m the only one who has to live with my actions forever. but like many women, i have internal doubts sometimes. but i’ve got a great spouse who helps me through. and i am what some may consider an abomination, but screw em. i love my life and i’m confident.

wundayatta's avatar

Tricky question. I’d love to be able to walk into a room of strangers and be able to just be myself, and be able to entertain them all. I know that confidence is key for something like this. I don’t think I can do it. The same with horn playing. I’d love to be able to just wail, but I rarely go full out (and when I do, it is often met with encouragement to reign it in a bit). For the things I want to do, other people’s opinions count a lot. But I want them to appreciate me for doing what I do, not for pandering to them. So I have not pandered and I have not gotten very far.

I think it’s really hard to project a confidence that sells. I have friends who can walk around and ask for attention, and people politely give it, but it all seems fake to me, like everyone is secretly embarrassed. I want genuine appreciation, not the kind of pats on the head you give to children to get them to go away.

People often think I’m confident to the point of arrogance because I state my opinions as if they are the only possible opinions. I have an answer and a plan for just about everything. I believe in my own thinking. I believe in my talents.

But I’m never sure anyone else sees me the same way I do. So, yeah, I’m faking it. In my life, the line between strong self-confidence and complete worthlessness is very, very thin.

Blondesjon's avatar

@daloon…Wouldn’t it be easier to simply fall to one side or the other? Walking a tightrope has to be much more grueling than flipping a coin.

wundayatta's avatar

@Blondesjon You’re the one with the simple life. That’s cool. Everything is easy for you.

My life is more complicated. I don’t need more randomness in it. I also appreciate the learning that comes along with these complications.

Blondesjon's avatar

@daloon…That’s my point. You control the complexity of your life.

c’mon, has complicated really taught you anything you didn’t already know?

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