General Question

Grisaille's avatar

Women: Would you ever date a shorter gentleman?

Asked by Grisaille (12025points) May 25th, 2009

Curious to know.

I’m somewhat short, and I haven’t really had any difficulty finding meaningful relationships.

It’s the picking-up part that is a bit difficult, getting to the point where a relationship can be considered. :P

In all honestly, I sometimes feel us vertically challenged gentlemen often times get the short end of the stick. (dohoho!)

What of you, female collective? Would you ever date, or consider dating a guy that is shorter than thoust? Would you be embarrassed to walk with him in public? Shy to introduce him to your friends?

I’m quite interested.

Don’t worry, we won’t look at you as shallow individuals, be honest – a turn off is a turn off!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

52 Answers

hug_of_war's avatar

I dated someone for 8 months who was 5’1. I’m 5’4. So I have. It wasn’t really a big issue. I wasn’t embarassed or ashamed of him or anything. But I still prefer taller guys.

noelasun's avatar

Only if I’d fallen in love with him first.
(my dads tall, I always somehow assumed I’d marry someone as tall as my dad)
all this said, I’m dating someone now def. not as tall as my dad.

SuperMouse's avatar

Well my man is a good seven inches taller than me, but since he is always sitting I tower over him. I have absolutely no problem with the height difference.

elijah's avatar

I have dated guys that aren’t tall, like maybe 5’8” or 9”. I’m only 5’3” so no i’ve never dated anyone shorter. I like bigger guys, at least 6’. I like to feel big arms around me, I like to stand on my tip toes to kiss my man.

Grisaille's avatar

@elijah Sorry, should have clarified. Shorter than you.

Also, 5’9” is average height :P

Nefily's avatar

I love tall guys they make me feel protected and I find it more comfortable when cuddling. But if I found someone I really liked and they were not as tall as me I wouldn’t have an issue with it. When you really love someone for who they are who cares about height. Personality is the most important thing. And it all depends how you present yourself. Girls like guys who are cofident. not over cofident though

Kayak8's avatar

Nope, I have never dated ANY gentlemen . . .

archer's avatar

you just stole my comment, kayak. where you going to find a gentleman of any height?

Grisaille's avatar

Okay. Okay.

You know what I mean D:

elijah's avatar

@Grisaille I did say no, not shorter than me. Now that I think of it, 2 of the last 3 serious relationships I’ve had were with short guys (5’8”).

Supacase's avatar

I would like to think I wouldn’t let something like that keep me from dating a great guy. I can’t say for sure because I’ve never been approached by a shorter guy. Well, one, but I was not interested in him for many other reasons.

Oh! Just remembered I had a short fling with a guy who was shorter than me. It didn’t seem to bother me. :)

Kayak8's avatar

OK, I know what you meant and my comment stands, I am gay and don’t date guys (gentlemen or otherwise) (short or otherwise) . . .

Facade's avatar

No. I’ve always dated guys that were over 6’. My babe’s 5’10 and I’m ok with that. I’m 5’1

kheredia's avatar

I would date someone shorter than me as long as he doesn’t have a problem with it. I hate it when guys just cant get over stuff like that. But as long as he’s comfortable with it so am I.

mcbealer's avatar

@Grisaille ~ how tall are you? just for a point of reference I guess

wundayatta's avatar

Just sort of wondering what the take-away lesson from this question is supposed to be? The women here can not possibly be representative of the women in the world at large. You might get some insight into how some women think, or the different kinds of things women think, but you must know that some women have shorter mates, and others would never think of it.

As it happens, my wife is taller than I am. At least two inches taller. I’ve had girlfriends who were even taller. In fact, I’d say the majority of my girlfriends were taller than me.

archer's avatar

i had one girlfriend who dated shorter guys pretty much exclusively..

she was 6’3”

bezdomnaya's avatar

Great question!

@elijah has expressed my sentiments exactly. I like taller guys, around 6’: I like to stand on my tiptoes as well to kiss and I feel more protected with a taller guy. I am also 5’3” (like I said, my opinion has already been stated, basically verbatim, I’m not even sure why I’m adding my 2 cents), so finding guys taller than me is not a big problem.

Shorter guys are, by default, less attractive to me. That said, I dated a guy who was 5’5” and I was completely infatuated with him at the time, so it isn’t a deal breaker. However, to pick me up, a short guy would have to try much, much harder.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I’m tall for my sex – 5’8’’. That said, most guys are on average only one to two inches taller than me. I hate the fact that I’m so tall, but if I was that picky, I could never date anyone. Ultimately, it boils down to whether or not I could love someone. Height doesn’t necessarily make someone lovable.

dannyc's avatar

“Short People” much true in that great Randy Newman tune now in my mind.

hearkat's avatar

My ex-husband was an inch shorter than I.

Grisaille's avatar

I am 5’5” (5’6–7” with dress shoes/boots), and quite proud! Doesn’t affect me, really. Just trying to get a bit of introspective on the other sex.

Also, Kayak, good point. Should have clarified, much apologies on my part. ‘Twas a crude generalization on my part, didn’t mean to offend.

mcbealer's avatar

I have gone out with guys who are shorter (I’m almost 5’8) as well as 6’ and over.

For me, height is not a dealbreaker. I will say, there’s something about being with someone of similar height, because then your bodies are congruent and mesh together quite nicely…

Grisaille's avatar

I’d also like to point out that the whole “protective” feeling guys have is kinda broken in short guys.

I’m not talking about “I MUST PROTECT MY WOMAN FROM OTHER MEN ATTEMPTING TO COURT HER! EN GARDE!” I’m talking about that great feeling of being the masculine, over-towering guardian you get when holding your love. I typically love shorter girls (obviously), simply because I love the feeling of wrapping my arms around her and feeling a gentle, delicate being close to me, as a few of you have pointed out (from the opposite point of view, of course). There is no greater feeling for a man than to feel as if he has captured his love, and embracing your small, fragile love helps tremendously.

That kinda goes away with taller girls! In fact, I’m inclined to believe that is one of the key reasons why short guys tend to be self-conscious; the feeling of being the protector is diminished when you’re 5’5” or under.

Just pointing it out, you might not have seen it from our perspective.

Wine3213's avatar

@Grisaille: Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never had a feeling of not being able to protect a girl, and I’m 5’4”. I do find it difficult at times to get with girls I really want to get with.

Grisaille's avatar

@Wine3213 Same here. I just find it most guys in our height range tend to be self-conscious.

It’s terribly silly; it’s the same thing as girls feeling as if they are not thin enough. Damn you, media.

wundayatta's avatar

Tallness is correlated with more power, status, and higher earning potential. Ever wonder why a lot of comedians are kind of short? They have to develop their sharp wits and senses of humor in order to be able to compete with the taller jerks gentlemen.

Of course, smaller people use less resources, so there may come a day when smallness is valued, and then those skyscrapers will find themselves bumping heads against doorways a bit more often. Short Power!

Grisaille's avatar

@daloon **Flying ass bump**


Likeradar's avatar

Yup. I’m about 6 feet tall barefoot. I used to have a rule about not dating shorter guys, but I realized that’s silly. I dated taller guys, but realized there just aren’t a whole lot of them out there and I was really limiting my options. My guy is about 2 inches shorter than me. It would be nice if he were taller (or if I were shorter) but nope. And it’s no biggie.

There’s something nice about being with a guy who makes you feel petite, and the whole standing on tip toes to kiss thing is great, but it’s not that big a deal. Maybe I don’t have the protection thing that some shorter girls have since I’m so tall anyway? And luckily, the boy doesn’t care if I want to wear heels sometimes, which I hardly ever do anyway.

Why would a smart girl turn down a good thing just because of a few inches?

wildpotato's avatar

It would be really hard to find a guy shorter than me, as I am not even 5’. But I hate standing on my toes for a kiss, so I think I would go for a shorter man.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I’ve always been a fan of taller than 6ft men but my two most serious relationships have been with men shorter than that, one of them exactly my height at 5’2”. This taught me, it’s more about the whole person and not just my physicality preference. Just keep being you for the best results, put your height on the back burner since it’s nothing you can alter anyhow.

3or4monsters's avatar

This question makes me wonder how same-sex couples feel about height.

Height doesn’t matter to me. I don’t think I would be comfortable dating someone who weighed less than I do, though.

augustlan's avatar

I have, many times. I never had a problem with it… I am an equal opportunity lech. ;-)

That said, there is something nice about being with someone considerably taller than me. My husband is 6’ 2” and makes me feel positively small – something I’m not used to feeling.

casheroo's avatar

I’m married to a man that is shorter than me. Just by an inch though, so he’s the same height as me when he wears his work shoes.
The guy I dated before was a lot taller, probably the tallest guy I’ve ever been with. I forget how tall, but I think more than 6’
I always thought I’d be with a tall man, since my father is tall. But, you find love where you least expect it. Also, I’ve never been one of those people who thinks “Oh, I’d never date someone with blah blah blah” because that’d be silly, in my opinion.
I think I’ve had flings with quite a few men who are the same height as me, so it’s never been something I’ve thought about. I’m 5’6 so I’m not terribly tall.

cak's avatar

I dated a guy shorter than me and all was fine until he continue to make a huge deal out of it. Sorry, I can only ignore it for so long. I finally broke up with him.

As I was reading the responses on here, I see that someone talked about taller jerks gentleman, the thing about that short guy…he wan’t a gentleman. He criticized all the tall guys we passed. I found it rather off-putting. Annoyingly insecure. Not all short guys are decent guys.

I’m short, I’m 5’2”. I married a very tall man, he’s 6’5. Like he points out, frequently, he had nothing to do with his height.

casheroo's avatar

@cak Ew, he made comments about taller men? That’d be unbearable. My husband says being short just means he has to prove himself more, since some men view it as almost a handicap. He works in kitchens so it’s not too big of a deal in his line of work. I’ve noticed the majority of chefs I’ve met are actually short.

Likeradar's avatar

@cak Ugh. Being shorter isn’t an issue to me, but constantly making a big deal out of it would be. So unattractive.

archer's avatar

i’m guessing that many have had the experience of suddenly noticing how short a guy that we’ve been around for a while actually is and been kind of shocked by it. some short guys have such huge personalities and strong and confident presence that it affects the way we perceive them greatly.

cak's avatar

@casheroo and @likeradar- I swear, he was so annoying! I finally asked him if he thought that was a turn on, he said he was just trying to keep me swayed from tall me. Blah, last time I dated him! @casheroo – it’s funny, the country club I worked at, all the guys in the kitchen were shorter, one tall guy. Seemed he was at a disadvantage. He was always ducking to get under things.

mbubbles's avatar

i don’t see why dating a shorter person would effect a relationship. the guy i like is shorter than me, but i don’t give a damn.

Darwin's avatar

I dated a man for two years who was shorter than I. I am 5’ 8” (I don’t consider that unduly tall because my niece is 6’ 1”) and he was 5’ 4”. He enjoyed the way my legs looked when I wore heels so when we went out I wore shoes with 3” or 4” heels. We wanted to marry but his family was adamantly opposed so we broke up.

I briefly dated a very nice guy who was 6’ 4” and discovered I much prefer kissing someone whose face is near mine. I had to climb on a cement block in order to not get a crick in my neck.

The man I ended up marrying was 5’ 10” when he was young, 5’ 9” when we married, and is about 5’ 7” on a good day and somewhat shorter on days he slumps a lot or can’t get out of his chair. His height means little to me. His personality means everything.

When I was in high school there was a married couple who taught at the school, Mr. and Mrs. Otis. He was a dead ringer for Danny DeVito, short and shaped like a fireplug, and she was 6’ 2” and tall and slender. They made an odd couple walking down the hall together but they loved each other and were happily married for many years.

Personally, I think height is really not all that important. Compatibility is important.

chyna's avatar

I’m 5’2, so I generally don’t meet too many guys shorter than me, but I have never dated a guy that was. Most guys I date are over 6 feet tall.

bezdomnaya's avatar

@archer I get what you mean about the personality of a person making a difference in the way you perceive his/her height. I am almost the exact same height as a good friend of mine, but when it was mentioned that we are both short on a night out, no one would believe it. One of our friends actually said, ‘yeah, she is the same height, but her personality makes her seem a lot taller.’ To be honest, I couldn’t tell you how tall any of my friends are, and a short guy can definitely have a big personality that ‘makes up for it’.

elijah's avatar

It’s not that I wouldn’t date someone shorter, it’s just that like other short women here have said we rarely meet men shorter. As a generalization I am attracted to tall men, but I’m not implying I wouldn’t give a short man a chance just because of his height.

AstroChuck's avatar

@elijah- You dated a 9-inch tall guy?

Darwin's avatar

@AstroChuck – That was how tall he was lying down.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@Darwin Oh my god, that was fantastic! I’m going to be giggling for a while, now! :D

augustlan's avatar

<giggle, snort.>

chyna's avatar

Oh great, you guys got Augustlan snorting again.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Easier said than done, I know, but please work through any concerns about height. I have dated several men much shorter than I and a couple that are over 6’10”. Whether shorter or taller than average, some people seem to…I don’t know…consider this a turn-off? If this is the case, so be it and move on. Trust me in that there are plenty of people who do/can/will appreciate you for all that you are, and height has nothing to do with it.

True story: One time I went to a restaurant with a male friend that was not of average height. The waitress asked him how tall he was. A bit peeved at hearing this every time we went out, I asked her, “And what is your bra size?”

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