General Question

missjena's avatar

From experience or statistically people who were once married and get divorced what is the likely hood of them getting back together if there is a child involved?

Asked by missjena (918points) May 26th, 2009 from iPhone

If they are a young divorced couple.

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16 Answers

Since010501's avatar

Personally I do not know of set statistics, but I do know it is more likely if they were young. I have seen it happen—but don’t know how likely it is.

missjena's avatar

More likely they will get together or more likely they won’t?

Since010501's avatar

It would be more likely that they would get back together if they were young rather than older when they seperated.

missjena's avatar

I see. Thx : )

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I got divorced young and have a child with him and the chances of us getting back together are zero as I’m now remarried and happily so and he’s getting married as well

missjena's avatar

@simone if you don’t mind me asking. Why did you get divorced to begin with?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@missjena I do not mind the question
He no longer inspired me

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

I mean it happens (i’ve seen it) where the couple breaks up but then ends up back together later… I would wager it’s more likely as they will have continued contact due to the child (pretty big link).... BUT, I think you’ll be hard pressed to find an actual statistic on that.

missjena's avatar

so getting involved with someone who is young and divorced is a no no? Even if they say they’ll never get back with their ex wife ? They don’t get along.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@missjena no it’s not a no no
certainly wasn’t for my current partner

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

@missjena No not at all. If they’re over them, then go for it. If you feel there’s been a healthy amount of time that the person is actually over them and won’t hurt you (basically if you trust them)... then go for it.

If they’re meant to be back with their X, then that’ll happen…. But it’s by no means a given, and by no means is the person off limits once they’re divorced. (in fact if I’m not mistaken, isn’t that the whole purpose of divorce??? put them on the “market” again?)

missjena's avatar

what’s a healthy amount of time?

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

@missjena It varies and depends on a lot of things. There’s no “set time” that would be a good one. You can “kinda” tell if someone is still not over someone. But that just comes with life/relationship experience.

I would imagine that with a marriage it would be BARE MINIMUM a few months (pending how bad the marriage was going leading up to the divorce…. and if there was an affair I suppose the 3rd party might be able to get an in pretty quickly).

Jack79's avatar

Empirically speaking, very slim. Most of the people who get divorced simply move on. They get over the pain and learn to be civil to each other, perhaps even friends.

There are very few who might actually get back together, though I only know of one such case personally, and the reason was the kids. My friend and his wife never really worked things out, they just found some compromise and stay out of each other’s way. It’s by no means a dream marriage, but the children have both parents.

And there are of course other extreme cases (such as mine) where the relationship actually gets worse after the divorce.

But most people just move on, just like any other relationship.

jesheedy1's avatar

I think the chances of gettingback together are slim, and it isn’t always fair for the child. There must have been a reason to separate in the first place. If they do get back together I think the chances of separating again are quite high and this can be unfair and confusing for the child. Obviously if it feels like the right thing to do and that there’s a real chance, then go for it, but think carefully about how it can affect others .

wundayatta's avatar

Most people don’t divorce if they think they might get back together. I believe that getting back together is usually a function of prolonged singleness and a change in both the people. It happens rarely. My guess is that such change is more likely in older couples than in younger.

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