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Myndecho's avatar

Would you ever date someone who smoked?

Asked by Myndecho (948points) May 27th, 2009

Out of five people me included, three said they would never date someone who smoked and all five said they would never date someone who had ever taken drugs on a regular basis.

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34 Answers

cookieman's avatar


Sorry, couldn’t date a smoker. I find the act repulsive. Frankly, i can’t even be friends with a smoker – which is a shame as there are many fine folks who smoke.

dynamicduo's avatar

Sure. I also date people who do drugs regularly.

Bluefreedom's avatar

This isn’t a very easy question to answer, at least for me. The simple and quick response would be that I wouldn’t date a smoker because I think it is a dirty and unattractive habit. I have friends who smoke and so does my mother and even though I don’t like it, it doesn’t mean I think any less highly of them in a lot of ways.

If I were to meet someone who I was attracted to, had a lot in common with, and had the potential for being a good relationship choice, and they were a smoker, I’d probably be really torn in making a decision if I’d like to be with them or not because of that habit.

That probably makes me sound petty or too discriminating and I don’t like to act or come across that way so my best course of action would most likely be to actively seek out someone who doesn’t smoke in the first place.

shockvalue's avatar

Smoking has consistently been the deciding factor in the girls I date. It’s a total turn off.

Regarding the drugs, as long as it doesn’t stem past a moderated usage of marijuana, shrooms, and/or LSD, I’m fine with it.

mcbealer's avatar

good question… I guess I have to reassess on this one, since I just quit myself 12/31/08. It would be hypocritical for me to say it’s a dealbreaker, although for obvious reasons I don’t want or need to be around cigarette smoking right now. Funny, although I’m not doing too bad with cravings, today I walked past someone having a cigarette and it didn’t repulse me. I held my breath, thinking I really don’t need to reintroduce nicotine to my system, but I wonder, when will cigarette smoke smell gross again, as it once did? (I quit for about 8 years, then started up again)

Grisaille's avatar

@mcbealer lucky bastard. I wish I would have taken on that resolution.

Good for you, keep at it!

mcbealer's avatar

@Grisaille ~ thanks, but believe me it was purely by accident. I had the misfortune of coming down with the flu over New Year’s Eve, and was too effin sick to get up off the couch for the first couple of days this year. By the time I regained some semblance of awareness, I had gone 3 days without smoking, and figured I’d give quitting another shot. So far so good, I did have 5 at the end of March though, during a momentary lapse of weakness.

Grisaille's avatar



In all seriousness, I wish you the best. I’ve been on and off the horse, and I know the feeling. If you are to the point that you don’t need nicotine, you’re better off than a lot of us. Good luck.

cak's avatar

No, I can’t date a smoker and I married a non-smoker. Neither of us do drugs, either. Ok, we drink here and there, but that’s rare, too.

I tried, once, in college to date a smoker and it just was wrong. I don’t hate smokers, it’s just not for me.

Lupin's avatar

Many years ago, in a land far far away… I dated a pretty girl who smoked. No matter how beautiful her hair was done, or how nicely she dressed, or how sexily she moved, when we were together, she always smelled like an ashtray.
I married a woman who kept change in her car ashtray.

Jack79's avatar

Well, it depends. First of all, we’re assuming you’re asking non-smokers. When I was a smoker, I actually preferred smokers, so that they didn’t complain about my own habit. Now that I’m not, I prefer non-smokers for the opposite reason.

But I would not say “never”. If she were a light smoker (my last gf was) and it did not stink too much, I’d accept it. My last gf for example would always smoke out in the balcony. Yes, her breath stank afterwards, but overall we had a good relationship so I didn’t mind.

Drugs (or even alcohol) are a different story altogether. Any type of addiction or obsession can affect your character and your behaviour, and therefore I’d be a lot more picky about such things. I’ve had a serious relationship with an alcoholic, and I don’t want to go through that again. No, I’d generally steer clear of people who do drugs on a regular basis, even if it was soft drugs. I might put up with the odd joint once a month or something, but that’s my limit.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I haven’t smoked for 9 months now, and at this point I’d prefer a non-smoker. Funnily enough, I preferred non-smokers even when I was a smoker.

Supacase's avatar

I have dated a couple of people who did both, one of whom I feel for pretty hard. Unfortunately, the drug addiction and alcoholism did us in. Addicts are selfish by definition – the partner always comes in second to the need for their next fix plus they don’t think clearly while high/drunk so their. JMO, of course.

Smoking stinks and is also expensive. I don’t think it would have been a deal breaker with my husband, but I’m glad he doesn’t.

hug_of_war's avatar

No way would I date a smoker I think it’s bad enogh my boyfriend’s parents smoke. It’s one of my very few automatic dealbreakers. I’ve had too many relatives die from obvious smoke-related health issues to be okay with it.

Grisaille's avatar

@Supacase I’ve been there. Falling for a drug addict is hard. Constantly trying to save the one you love – it’s horrible. It doesn’t help that they are so mind-numbingly fragile and helpless. :[

bythebay's avatar

I’ve been married a long time, so it would be a bad sign if I started dating anyone! All joking aside, I’ve never smoked, and I never dated any smokers. My own mother smoked, and it was always something I hated and avoided; I feel some animosity at the distance that was constantly between us during my youth because of her smoking. Even in high school, when it was “cool”, I kept my distance. There were definitely guys I found attractive that smoked, but it seemed to big an obstacle to overcome. No, I would never date a smoker.

Regular drug use, also a deal breaker, for me.

cwilbur's avatar

I find smoking itself to be a turnoff, and the taste of cigarette smoke really makes me lose interest in kissing. (It’s the whole licking-an-ashtray thing.)

So if someone was incredibly wonderful aside from the smoking, that might be enough to balance it out overall.

chyna's avatar

No, I quit smoking a long time ago, and don’t want to reverse the effects with breathing in second hand smoke. I quit then because my mom had bladder cancer caused by cigarrete smoke and she now has lung cancer from it. I do have a good friend who smokes and I never let it bother me as we don’t get to see each other that much. As for someone who uses drugs or drinks excessively, no. I dated a guy who was an alcoholic and his personality changed to someone I didn’t know and didn’t like. He turned into such a horrible person, I refuse to talk to him to this day, and I ususally have remained friends with the people I dated.

Dansedescygnes's avatar

Not unless they were willing to stop, otherwise I really don’t think it would work. Chances are if I found out they were a smoker from the beginning, I would’ve been turned off already. But if I found myself attracted to them and got to know them and then found out they were a smoker, I would have to know that they would quit, because I wouldn’t be able to live with one. I’m pretty sensitive to cigarette smoke; I can’t stand it. So I wouldn’t be able to live with someone who smoked.

And as for drugs, they would have to stop that too. I wouldn’t want to have to deal with that my entire life. You said “had ever taken drugs”. If the person had taken drugs in the past and wasn’t anymore, I would date them. But if they were still currently taking drugs on a regular basis, I would want them to stop before I decided to enter a relationship with them. I just wouldn’t want to be with someone who was damaging their health. If I really loved them, I would help them quit and I would want them to quit, but if they were unable to, I think I would have to let them go.

casheroo's avatar

When I first met my husband, we both smoked. We both quit though. It wasn’t a big deal, we just didn’t feel like spending the money, didn’t have addictions, no attachments to it whatsoever.
Smoking really bothers me now, so I’m glad my husband doesn’t smoke.
Although, right before we got married I made a confession to him that was bothering me (that I had gone to the movies by myself one night, because I was so stressed and needed a break) and his confession to me was that when it’s holiday season, he buys a pack of cigarrettes! His work is highly stressful around the holidays, so it’s understandable. lol

crisw's avatar

No. Smoking is disgusting, and I don’t want to watch someone I love wither away and die from lung cancer.

Darwin's avatar

I thought I would never, ever date a smoker. My mother was a smoker and I hated the smell and the ashtrays as well as the health problems that come with it.

However, I fell in love with a smoker and married him. Fortunately for both of us he hated the asthma attacks I had that were brought on by cigarette smoke so much that he quit smoking cold turkey two months before the wedding. He has COPD these days, but it would have been much worse if he hadn’t stopped.

And unfortunately, cigarette smoking does have one advantage as we discovered with my mother. She finally managed to stop smoking about 10 years ago. She started to develop some oddities in speech, movement and memory, and started to become quite reclusive. It turns out that she had Parkinson’s Disease but that the nicotine had helped suppress it.

pikipupiba's avatar

Suck on a face of tar? No thank you.

shadling21's avatar

I would. Smoking is a bit of a turn off, but it’s the person that I’m interested in, not their bad habits.

jesheedy1's avatar

I mean I don’t smoke but I really don’t have a problem with it Its their choice so yeah I think I probably would date someone who smoked, even if it is a bit of a stupid thing to do!

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

Yes, but it would be a big check in the “con” column.

elijah's avatar

I just quit smoking (again) a little over a month ago so if I started dating a smoker I would not be able to resist smoking. I never smoked a lot, a pack would last me 3–4 days. I would be embarrassed to be around non smokers after I smoked because I know it stinks. I hate kissing people after I smoked. I couldn’t ever date a heavy smoker, or anyone who would smoke in their house. I hate going to my mom’s house because her and her husband each smoke a pack a day. As much as I enjoy smoking I’ve never liked being around smoke.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Yes. My preference has always been for non smokers even though I’ve been an off and on smoker myself. When dating non smokers, I don’t smoke, I get the incentive I need to just not do it but if my partner smokes then I backslide. It’s not ideal and it’s not an example of self love but it’s my truth. it would be so cool not to want to smoke at all

cyn's avatar

my boyfriend smokes marijuana
but not cigarettes
i love him
and he smokes it daily
so yes i would date someone that smokes
but i’m very happy with my boyfriend
not because he smokes
but he’s really sweet, smart, mellow, strong, name it!
either way
it’s his choice

Dansedescygnes's avatar


What someone does is part of who they are…

Myndecho's avatar

They way you put “and he smokes it daily” made me think of this. :P

cyn's avatar

well NOT really daily
it’s more like every once in a while
three times a week probably
he’s playing sports so he has to watch when he smokes it
lol :))))

cyn's avatar

true, but not all the time
sometimes people do stuff they don’t mean
and am i a god to judge him!

mcbealer's avatar

@Myndecho ~ that vid’s hilarious

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