General Question

charliecompany34's avatar

What do you need closure on?

Asked by charliecompany34 (7785points) May 28th, 2009

it could have happened days ago or years ago or even decades? you just desperately need to know the answer and you think about it every day.

if you found out right now, would you laugh, cry, celebrate, start drinking profusely? leave the country?

what “thing” in your life do you really want an answer for (so you can go on with your life)?

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31 Answers

charliecompany34's avatar

i took a promotional test for a certain job several years ago and i passed, but for some reason never got the chance to advance to the next phase. i called and called and never found out why, even when i knew i was qualified.

Darwin's avatar

Actually, right now the only thing is I really want to know how the dog is doing that I saw hit by a car last week. The car in question kept going so I gathered him up and took him to a vet (not my own vet – his staff claimed he was out to lunch). The dog had no collar, wasn’t micro-chipped, hadn’t been neutered, and was young and very friendly.

I had to sign him over to the vet for them to even look at him, let alone treat him, and I had to make a “optional” donation of seven hundred dollars to their “Angel Fund” so they wouldn’t euthanize him then and there. They made a point of telling me that once I signed him over I would have no right to know what happened to him, but that if I didn’t sign him over I would be liable for whatever the treatment cost.

I just want to know that they really did treat him, that his broken leg will heal okay, that nothing else major was wrong with him, and that he eventually gets a home where someone will keep him from running out into traffic.

Needless to say, I won’t use that vet for anything ever again. I also told my vet after the fact what happened both when I called his office and when I went to the other vet that his staff told me to use. He was not a happy camper.

And so much for my tax refund.

whatthefluther's avatar

@Darwin…You are a wonderful person. I lurve you…wtf

MrGV's avatar

What would have happened if I didn’t save 124 people from a burning building.

Darwin's avatar

I would have paid his whole way if I had the money and taken him home, but I already have 5 dogs and there is no more room on the TV room floor for another dog, especially since this guy weighed 62 pounds and hadn’t finished growing.

whatthefluther's avatar

PS: I would gladly and proudly make a donation to the true “Angel” fund here…you! Warmest regards…Gary aka wtf

mcbealer's avatar

@Darwin ~ that is the most awesome random act of kindness!! much lurve to you

I LOL reading your description of the TV room floor thanks for giving me a good chuckle on an otherwise dreary afternoon

Darwin's avatar

I named him Marlowe because the vet was going to call him “Black” because that was his color.

charliecompany34's avatar

@Darwin just black? how un-creative. good looking out though bro!

Darwin's avatar

@Mcbealer – Every day about this time we have 320 pounds of dog in the TV room, which is not a very large room, so you can see why I say he wouldn’t have fit.

mcbealer's avatar

@MrGeneVan ~ are you a firefighter?

I’ve always wondered how things worked out for a dog we adopted when I was in high school named Zeus. A Doberman Pinscher rescue, Zeus really came a long way, and was responding very well to training. I guess you can say he was the first dog I trained in earnest, as he had a violent past and was very fear aggressive.

Anyhow and yes, I cried for a very long time about this one afternoon my boyfriend and I were playing with Zeus in the backyard and something set off his prey instict and he lunged for my jugular vein. No joke. Alex quite easily saved my life that day, he tackled Zeus to the ground and got him settled down. I still have a small scar from it. As a result, Zeus was given away to some guy who had a farm. I found out the next day when I returned home from school. I never got to say goodbye to him. Or explain to him that I totally forgave him. And that I would have given him another chance.

Darwin's avatar

@mcbealer I am sorry for your loss. I am sure he lived a long and happy life, at least for your sake.

Besides, all dogs do go to heaven even if some people argue the point

A disclaimer: I know this was a web joke and not real but it still is funny

chelseababyy's avatar

Stuff with my mother. I want to know why she abused me mentally/physically and emotionally. I want to know what I ever did to make her do those things to me. I was always there for her, and she thanks me by taking away everything I had when I was in high school. Why did she lie to the court and family services just so she could get me back and hurt me more? What was her reasoning for causing me not to graduate. Why does she lie to family members to make them dislike/hate me. Why out of 4 children was I the one whose life she had to break?

mcbealer's avatar

@Darwin ~ thanks, I hadn’t thought of that in a long, long time

and thanks to @charliecompany34 for a GQ ~ this was cathartic :)

oh yeah, @Darwin good link, those were funny :)

cak's avatar

@Darwin You are just a good person! It’s really great knowing there are people like you around.

When I was being treated for cancer, I met a young boy that was being treated, as well. He died, not too long after getting to know him (we were both in-hospital, at the time). His mother and I corresponded for some time, but she moved. A nurse told me she said she just had to get away from everything that reminded her of her son. I just want to know that she is okay. That she has found a way to move on in life.

charliecompany34's avatar

@chelseababyy oh wow! i am so sorry! mother/daughter relationship should be quite strained because of that. it will take a lot of healing and getting answers will help.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

There’s nothing like that because I simply can not move on with myself if I have unanswered questions or issues with people – it always comes out, it all spills out of me, I can’t stop it…

chyna's avatar

Last summer I had to put my beloved dog Lexi to sleep due to an inoperable mass in her throat. I didn’t stay with her and I regret that.

cak's avatar

@chyna—(((((((((hugs))))))))))— Don’t beat yourself up. That is very difficult to do, you loved and still do (I’m sure!) Lexi, you were with her.

chyna's avatar

@cak Thank you. I got choked up writing that and had to step away.

chelseababyy's avatar

@charliecompany34 We never got to have that close relationship that mothers and daughters SHOULD have. The thing is this, I know there were times where I was rebelling, but it was caused by her sheltering me, taking me out of school, not letting me see anyone outside of my household. With her, she made herself believe that she never did anything wrong, so she honestly won’t admit to any of it. She believes her own lies and always has. She will never apologize, and that’s what hurts the most.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@chyna I’m so sorry. I know how it is to put a beloved pet down. Been there, done that. I’m sending hugs, too. (((Chyna)))

charliecompany34's avatar

@chelseababyy
i know someone very close that cannot apologize. she will say “i’m sorry” at very distinct times, but realizing her faults or shortcomings, she will not admit.

i just shrug my shoulders and deal with it, realizing it must be some reason from the past that blocks her from admitting reality.

chelseababyy's avatar

@charliecompany34 I’ve never heard my mom apologize to ANYONE, ever. Definitely not to me. I’m not expecting an apology, I’d just like to know why, you know.

wundayatta's avatar

I wish we had closure on my wife’s job, which may or may not have been eaten by a bank merger. I wish we had closure on funding for my assistants. I wish we could begin to plan for some fun stuff in the future, instead of having to watch every penny, just in case.

charliecompany34's avatar

@chelseababyy
sorry to say, but she may not say what is on her heart until she cannot live with it or the past any more. she may even be on her death bed when she says what is harbored in her heart, past or mind.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I would just like to know if someone is okay. If I knew that they were living a comfortable, happy life… I could move on, I think. It would be a bitter-sweet experience.

Jack79's avatar

The whole mess with my daughter. I know it won’t be sorted any time soon, but hopefully it will start getting sorted in a couple of weeks.

chelseababyy's avatar

@charliecompany34 I doubt she’d even come clean on her deathbed. She has lied to so many people and has torn our family completely apart. Like she would want everyone to know that all along she was the one lying and that they looked down upon me for no reason. Ha, yeah right.

veronasgirl's avatar

2 years ago, and I still wish I knew if he loved me…

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