If you ran an ad for your heart, what would it say?

Eat more greens and fruit, stay away from donuts and pizza, like I do.

Bursts and overflows surprisingly and unexpectedly in the presence of grandchildren.

Like new! Low mileage, runs great.

Isn’t quite as hard as the liver yet.

Used heart. As is. No refunds or warranties.

Hole in heart that can only be patched with love.

Fix me I’m broken!!

Filled to it’s capacity, free flowing with love, a few cracks here and there (handle with care!)...as is.

May not be your style, but certainly functional.

No givebacks.

Cozy, strong foundation, great condition. Must see, won’t last! Subject to owner approval.

Has been broken a few times, but in general it’s a happy heart. Loves with all its being. Has no capacity. Just keeps growing. Is in perfect health. Has recently passed a stress test & echo-cardiogram. Plans on being around for many more years to continue loving & being loved.

Classic! All original parts.
Needs some work.

Free to a good home.

@jonsblond . . . that’s bullshit…you charged me!!!

@Blondesjon I said free to a good home. ;)

“Are you a Bad Seed, a word on a wing? Welcome don’t forget the secret handshake”

@jonsblond @Blondesjon you two kiss and make up. Now.

@jonsblond & @Blondesjon…...you two are a hoot. :-)

@chyna If you insist.

Removed By Fluther Moderators.

@Blondesjon: Your heart was Removed By Fluther Moderators?!?!? Wow, that’s some serious moderation.

Mine would say: Strong, well-traveled, well-worn pumping mass of memories – unfettered by sentiment but warm and inviting to anyone willing to overlook its’ flaws – as practical as it is lonely – hoping to hold on to that which it knows it does not deserve.

:::ding ding ding::: I think we have a winner..
lurve your answer @cprevite

Heart Available
Free to a good mediastinal space. Well scarred, but fully functional. On last echocardiogram got MVP!

Good heart seeks able body.

Warm and inviting with lots of extra space to love. Runs well when properly maintained. Will go into permanent lock-down mode if misused. Please follow directions carefully.

Misused. Still works.

I love these

“Space always available.”

nearly a half century old, well used, well maintained, and always ready to add more love for new friends and acquaintances.

Take twice a day, orally.

@eponymoushipster nice!

Very big, strong and healthy. Capable of accepting and giving unlimited amounts of love, compassion, generosity, and kindness.

Contains no artificial components! Hasen’t stopped working once in the twenty one years of use.

Needs repair. Leaks occasionally.

@benjaminlevi you’re adorable

In pristine state, almost never damaged. A relic from more romantic times, when heartsmiths forged their works with style.*
Kind and sentimental by nature, but rather underused, and often reined in by a more authoritative brain. Dreamy and idealistic. Prone to anomalous behaviour; grateful to those who can forgive its quirks.
Recently cultivating courage.

Buy now and get a FREE kidney for half price!

*Small print: Actually it’s a cheap melodramatic replica, factory made in 1987.
May contain nuts.

@Fyrius wonderful

Big, compassionate, loving and only a bit battered. Has plenty to give and wants to receive in return. Romantic and strong….. Fights with the brain constantly and wants to rule the roost!