General Question

essieness's avatar

What one thing do you want the other person to do that would fix things between you?

Asked by essieness (7695points) May 31st, 2009

Let’s have it…

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

63 Answers

Jude's avatar

Go to therapy and finally deal with it all. And, quite blaming our Dad’s absence for your actions..

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Stop trying to tell me who I can be friends with. Just because I write & like someone you don’t, doesn’t mean I have to conform to your ideas. I can love you both. It has nothing to do with you. Let me be me.

hug_of_war's avatar

be willing to compromise, so we can meet in the middle

eponymoushipster's avatar

tell their mother to shut the hell up.

Jack79's avatar

My ex wife? Committing suicide would be the least she can do to redeem herself. And it’s probably what she will do once the realisation hits her.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Jack79 ooo you’re dark.

Blondesjon's avatar

To all of you: I am neither who nor what I used to be.

for real this time


AstroChuck's avatar

Jump off a cliff.

rooeytoo's avatar

Stop screwing around and do it my way!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

To step up, to admit responsibility, to say and MEAN that they’re willing to grow up, to try to do everything to fix things, to accept me and my sexuality and my gender identity and accept that I’m never going to think it’s okay for you to be homophobic simply because ‘that’s your opinion’ and also, if you can, get with the feminist program, at least a little, that’s necessary as well

and to my mom: stop being so incredibly critical of every little thing I do as a parent and as a person – I am an adult now, a mother of two as well, and your inability to accept that I am capable has put a gulf between us

AstroChuck's avatar

By the way, it doesn’t have to be a plummet from a cliff. Any variation on that theme might square things up somewhat, as long as it ends in her demise. Sound cold? If you only knew how much that dogbitchwhore has hurt my oldest daughter…

chyna's avatar

@AstroChuck Doesn’t sound cold, it sounds like it is from your heart. Hopefully, that cliff is in her near future. And if I knew people, I would send them to “help” the situation.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@Jack79 I’m sorry. I know your pain & I understand your feelings there.

cyn's avatar

Shut the fuck up! Just let me be! Let me make my mistakes! It’s not like if i’m going to be fucked up just like you are! You don’t have the slightest idea what i’m capable of doing! Who are you to judge me?

mcbealer's avatar

I’m sorry

…sorry I never called, sorry I never wrote, sorry I’m so bad at keeping in touch, sorry I made you worry, sorry I let so much time go by, sorry I never got to say goodbye… but then you know I suck at goodbyes

unfortunately, two of the people I would say this to have passed on, and others I’ve lost contact with along the way of life.

ram201pa's avatar

Apologize; admit you disrespected and dishonored me; and move on. Nothing can be fixed between us.

mcbealer's avatar

oh well, I totally misread this question, I thought it said what would you want this person to know,
that would fix things between you

augustlan's avatar

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is not a thing in the world she could do or say that would make things right between us. I don’t hate her, or wish her ill, but I am done.

ubersiren's avatar

I’m in a similar place as @augustlan. I just don’t have the time or will to keep up the charade that we are any longer friends. She will always be the girl who was my best friend for 20 years, but it’s over.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@ubersiren I’m sorry…that sounds like a sad situation. It’s always painful to lose a long time friend.

kheredia's avatar

Moderate his video gaming time so he’s not playing 8 hours a day and has some time to spend with me. He thinks that just because we are in the same room we’re already spending time together. That’s just not good enough.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

Nothing he can do will ever fix things. He said the one thing to me that gets a person put on my Ultimate List. The Extinction List. The You Are Dead to Me List.

And while some folks might feel dancing on a person’s grave is bad karma, I am looking forward to doing the Jig O’ Happiness on that asshole’s fresh mound of dirt sometime in the future.

hearkat's avatar

Tell me the absolute truth about everything.

gymnastchick729's avatar

stop having to act like they are someone they are not.

Jude's avatar

If I could pick another..

You really need to take care of yourself. And, we can’t keep worrying about you. It’s not far to us if you’re not going to help yourself. I know you’re a grown man and you’re going to do what you’re going to do.. but, you’re stubborn and scared and you have to stop running away from it all. Slow down and take care of yourself, deal with her death.. I know that it’s hard for you. It’s hard for us, too. Try to be there for your kids, instead of closing yourself off from us. We’re always there for you. We’re in this together.

dannyc's avatar

Get on with their life.

Macaulay's avatar

I’m “the other person.”

cak's avatar

There is someone that I would love to tell them to stop living in the past, get over what your parents did or didn’t do and move the fuck on. It’s why I can’t deal with you. It’s why a lot of us lost respect for you. Try to move on, we all want you to grow and succeed, I really do – but until then I things can’t be fixed.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Macaulay I, too, have been the ‘other person’

augustlan's avatar

Shoot, we’ve probably all been the ‘other person’ at least once. I hope we’ve all made amends.

justus2's avatar

Nothing, things are wonderful between us, we have our arguments and stuff but always talk about it later on and work it out.

Judi's avatar

I can’t change anyone else, I can only change the way I approach the person and my attitude towards them. My wish is that the “other” would find ways to be their own best self.

saraaaaaa's avatar

I want a good old fashioned sit-down-look-you-in-the-eyes apology. And I want them to mean it. I’m tired of being the one who has to act first.

SirBailey's avatar

I gave a lot of thought to this question and, ultimately, came up with the realization that there is NOTHING they can do except, maybe, drop dead.

DarkScribe's avatar

Fix what? Why presume that people have relationship problems?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@DarkScribe because who doesn’t?

DarkScribe's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I don’t. Haven’t had for decades. Three of my daughters are in a solid relationship, two for more than a decade. My grandparents on both sides were lifelong partners – quite happy. My parents did split, but went on to long and happy subsequent relationships. Most of my long term friends are the same. I know very few people who have real relationship issues. I tend only to see in in dramas – written or cinema.

I find it surprising that any would be prepared to accept it as a norm.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I just find it difficult to accept that people can get along with everyone around them – I suppose it’s possible and I hope it always always stays that way for you…I also think that I wasn’t just thinking romantic relationship issues…there can be issues with friends, parents, parents in law, etc.

and in terms of knowing about other people, you never know the whole truth, never

DarkScribe's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I guess that I was relating more to romantic or family, not general. I probably got that impression as I can’t imagine bothering to “fix” a relationship with someone who was not close to me. I just walk away.

I certainly don’t get on with everyone around me, I have a knack for rubbing a certain kind of person the wrong way. I have to respect someone to like them, and many people around me don’t engender any degree of respect. I find it hard to relate to people who don’t think or enjoy learning.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@DarkScribe I am with you
but sometimes you have to interact with people that you don’t like (my parents, aunt and grandma live with us)

DarkScribe's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir yes, there is that. I have some “obligatory” relationships. I manage to bite my tongue and not create offence when around them.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@DarkScribe ha, you’re a better person than me
I don’t bite my tongue very well

amoreno06's avatar

that song, “why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends?” comes to mind for me.
you didn’t want me. i found someone who does.
i’m sorry that has to be him, but you had your chance.

just be mature about the whole situation.
and get over it.

wundayatta's avatar

Apologize, show they know what they did wrong, and change it for the better.

RedPowerLady's avatar

Acknowledge their part in the problem. Just acknowledge it, not even apologize (although that’d be great, lol).

atlantis's avatar

Like fudge themselves up so bad so that everyone sees their true colors and what big fat, bigoted liars they are.

CMaz's avatar

Fix things? Well there is the problem. If you feel it needs to be fixed and you can fix it. You are the problem.

Skippy's avatar

Former best friend? MOVE – Leave me alone! There is no way to fix the crap that’s happened.
Oh Wait – she could use the magic words, Thank You for all you’ve done for me! But that will never happen, so I won’t hold my breath.

I have no problems with anyone else that needs changing!

noelasun's avatar

just call me!

shrubbery's avatar

Talk to me.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

To my dad: I’m 19. I want you to meet my boyfriend. I’d like him to know he’s welcome. I don’t like not being allowed to date.

To my last ex-boyfriend: I want to know the truth… about everything.

To an ex-friend: Stop blaming me for your problems. Do you really think I’m going to accept being friends with you again if you keep on doing this?

bean's avatar

I wanted to feel loved by you like when you said those three words…but because we had fights you ran away thinking it would teach me a lesson… it did, you taught me that there’s more to life than trying to be your girlfriend and feel like not even half of who or who i can be…. you were very patient when I would be irrational…but you were not compromising… I wish you had been, and i wish you were there for me to show you loved me… but i was the last of your priorities.

but this is your loss… not mine, even though when you broke up with me I felt like it was the end of the world… and you ignored me… but the truth is, I became happy, and I wished you showed me sooner how much I meant to you, because it’s like I missed out on so much more to life.

It could of worked… but you did not love me, you used me. but now, I’m fine.
you are beneath me.

CMaz's avatar

@bean – Heavy stuff.

bean's avatar

@ChazMaz not any more :D haha

CMaz's avatar

That crap on my profile is me. I have a life to prove it, you poser. And, you are worse now then you ever were. You just go from one rock to another to hide under.
You really need help you sick, sick, sociopath. How does that work? If you say it you are it? Does not matter if you do not live it, as long as you convince others that you are telling the truth?
Just like you talking about loyalty and honesty but you run away to the army without telling those that are suppose to have your ”:trust”. You tried to pull that game with me,
but I caught you. Did you come clean? No you lied some more. You have no empathy for others. The only spiral downwards you saw, was you could not fool me any more with your nonsense.
Your children are a mess because you are too screwed up to help them.
You had to bail out or grow up. It was not about codependency, it was about two adults working together to better their lives. Instead it was an adult taking care of a home and two children.
“A women needs to be her own person.” First you have to become a woman. And that is your problem. You can convince others that you are because you are in the body of a woman. But you are all child.
Most of what you say is nonsense. Your friends know it, but you are too good a tool to loose. Here you go again, bouncing from one daddy to another. Do not kid yourself, Uncle Sam is now your daddy. I wonder what nonsense excuse you will come up with to get out when you are expected to stay at your post or defend your battle buddy.
As you start rubbing your legs, curling up in a ball, moaning and complaining. My bet is you will get out on a psychological discharge or will get caught eating muff in the toilet.
I never blame the world. It always comes back to ourselves. We either cant see the wisdom of others. Or, as in your case are too foolish and immature to know the difference.
What makes me laugh and scares me the most is you are so set on trying to convince me of something that you know is a lie. That the magic trick is really real. Funny that you need to explain this to me.
See, this is where you loose every time. You open your mouth, and have/want to have an opinion and to express yourself. Might work great with children and ass kissing adults. But for most of us, you reek of damaged goods.

CMaz's avatar

That sure felt good to send to her. :-)

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Be sucessful in going sober/clean.

VS's avatar

@Judi I’d give you 100 lurve for your answer, if I could!!!
I don’t think I have anything to resolve with anyone… both of the exes are dead, neither at my hand, sooooo…. no jail time, no I’m sorrys, no gimme one more chance, no can’t we work it outs! I’m in a good place, living happily with my current ex-husband of 22 years. Life is pretty flippin’ fantastic!

Ettina's avatar

Be there for me and recognize that I don’t want to be this way and I’m trying my hardest to change, but it’s not going to happen overnight and it’s not going to happen without support.

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